


He's my Associate

by mrhiddles



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Drunkenness, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Drama, Fisticuffs, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Holidays, Kissing, M/M, Meet the Family, Oral Sex, POV Thor (Marvel), Romantic Comedy, Thanksgiving, at least I'm trying to make it be a romantic comedy, just a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2019-08-28 02:50:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16715169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrhiddles/pseuds/mrhiddles
Summary: Thor is thirty, single, and working far below what he's worth. When he forgets his promise to bring someone new back home for Thanksgiving, he works with what he's handed. That just happens to be his boss, Loki Laufeyson, who's got plenty of family drama of his own. They make a deal.-AKA I watched The Proposal too much, and wanted to write something silly and fun. So loosely based off the movie, Thor works at Loki's law firm and they both find themselves in a position to mutually benefit the other.





	1. Yikes

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is very loosely based off The Proposal, you don't need to have seen that first to get what's going on or anything. Part 1 will be about Thanksgiving, part 2 will be about Christmas, so probably around six chapters or less.
> 
> Edit: wow look at what a fool I am and how wrong I was.

Thor’s phone rang at ten past two in the afternoon. Work in half an hour. The ringtone startled him so badly he nearly fell out of bed where he’d been slumped over, half on and half off, pillow sagging dangerously close to the floor. He was drooling too, and only realizes after he’s mumbled a _hello_ into the receiver.

He wiped his mouth and heard his mother’s voice say back to him, sing-song and very much awake, “Guess what I got for tomorrow!”

He straightened himself on the bed and sagged there, sighing. “Was it the ham you’ve been talking about for a week?”

“The last one!” she chimed. “And a big one! Your father was so happy he was beside himself, you should have seen him.”

Thor hummed, picturing his stout, stern father. “You’re sure you got the right guy, mom?”

Frigga laughed. “You’ll see for yourself tomorrow.”

Thor swept his hair behind his ear, trying to comb out tangled with his fingers. “How’s he been?”

His mother went quiet. “He’s been good the last few weeks. He’s in better spirits, I think.”

“That’s good.”

“He’s looking forward to seeing you.”

Thor blinked at his sheets. “Yeah.”

Frigga’s tone shifted. “And he’s excited to meet your new friend.”

That caught his attention. What new friend? He didn’t have any new friends.

“Huh?”

She huffed. “Last month, you said you were seeing someone,” she tried, and Thor swallowed. “You said we were going to meet them for Thanksgiving, you were being so secretive about the whole thing. Really Thor, you—”

She went on, but Thor couldn’t concentrate on what she was saying to him. New friend. New _friend_. Home for Thanksgiving. Meet the family. A total fib on his part to get out of an uncomfortable conversation weeks past when he’d said the easiest thing to get her to stop bugging him about being alone at his age.

There were tons of single thirty-year-old’s. There _were_.

As Frigga talked and talked, Thor rubbed the bridge of his nose, wondering how he’d manage to break the lie to his parents tomorrow, and his brother. His happily married, successfully employed, twenty-year-old little brother.

He sighed and sank into his pillows.

\--

When he got into work, Thor trekked the familiar path to his boss’ door and knocked twice. He heard him shout something unintelligible, so he walked in, coffee in hand.

“You’re late.”

“I’m actually not, but here you go,” Thor said, setting the coffee down; three shots of espresso, caramel syrup, whip cream. He handed over the thick portfolio he held, and his boss took it, already glowering.

“This will take ages,” he groaned. “Keep me company.”

Thor pursed his lips, wondered if it was worth it today to quit. He sat down. “Loki, this isn’t really my area.” He didn’t want to be there, was all. He had paralegals to brief about what Loki wanted from them for the day.

Loki didn’t look up from where he scanned the pages of the portfolio. “You know enough to sit there and keep quiet while I read.”

So Thor watched him, green eyes moving fast over page after page.

He’d worked for Loki for a year next month. Thor was a temp that was officially brought on when the last guy quit without any notice, shouting on his way out. Thor was there to witness how manic he’d been, how upset. Loki had just stood there and waved as security dragged the guy out.

Then he’d turned to Thor on the way back to his office, pointed a finger at him and said, “Follow me, scrub.” And now Thor was in charge of getting Loki’s coffee, Loki’s documents, Loki’s scheduling, Loki’s phone calls to his grandmother every other month—Loki’s everything outside of wiping his ass, and really Thor didn’t hold Loki above demanding that too, one day.

Not exactly a promotion from his job as a temp, where he was working as a paralegal, and it’s not like the pay was better. It wasn’t. And it’s not like he didn’t have a Juris Doctor framed over his bed at home. Nope, not at all.

Thor just needed a job. His parents needed to see him working. It was something to do, and going from any temp job to a permanent position was ideal. Never mind the fact he couldn’t find a law firm to hire him on for what he was worth after school, it wasn’t important—look at him now, working for one of the best firms in the state, as Loki’s assistant. Loki, who terrified anyone who entered his office on an off day. Loki, who ruined lives with a phone call if the mood struck him.

Though, Thor had yet to have that anger directed toward him. And he found Loki’s angry episodes were easy to navigate, easy to get him to calm down, easy to get his focus locked onto something else. Sif called him a miracle-worker. Was it really a miracle if he just wasn’t emotionally invested, and therefore had nothing to lose? Except for a job he didn’t like much.

Loki snorted and laughed at the paper in his hands, ripped it out and threw the rest of the portfolio in the trash.

Good mood today, Thor noted.

“I can’t really believe that Stark thinks this guy is worth his attention.”

Thor nodded, looking down at his hands. “Hammer’s an idiot. Ill prepared with shit lawyers. It’s simple patent litigation. He can’t expect to sell Stark-tech and think no one will notice. Hammer will lose if the judge isn’t in his pocket.”

“Too true.” Loki caught his eye and smiled. “Are you free this afternoon? I have a meeting, and I’d like to show the top floor what we have for the case so far.”

Thor wasn’t free. Sif wanted to show him her new favorite fried chicken place by the water on first street.

“I’m free,” he said.

“Excellent. Have any plans for tomorrow? I’ve noticed the others buzzing around about it.”

Thor stumbled for the words, surprised he’d been asked at all. “Yeah, actually. Spending the day with my family.”

Loki nodded and started texting, the telltale sign that it was time for Thor to go find somewhere else to be busy.

\--

“What does that make it? Sixty-five, sixty-six days Loki’s sideswiped you?”

Thor answered immediately, already knowing the number. He kept track. “One-hundred-and-fifteen actually.” Sif blanched. “He pays me for it.”

Sif made a face. “What? Fifteen an hour?”

“Twelve.”

Sif swore under her breath. “At least he can’t steal away your holidays. Even he can’t legally deny you Thanksgiving.”

Thor shrugged. “It’s not exactly a holiday I’m looking forward to.”

Sif’s expression softened. “I know. Just keep reminding yourself it’s twenty-four hours of hell and then it’ll be back to the usual grind.”

“Yeah, at least there’s that.”

\--

As soon as it hit one in the afternoon, Loki swung open the door to his office and walked right into Thor.

“Jesus,” he said, straightening. “Why are you just…standing there like that?”

Thor held out the updated case file. “I knew you’d expect me early.”

“Taking initiative.” Loki blinked, and Thor saw his jaw twitch. “I like it.” He said it like it was the time he’d ever bumped into Thor waiting outside his office, which it wasn’t.

“I’ve always been here early when you have meetings. I actually wanted to talk to you about my position here—”

Loki narrowed his eyes for a moment before snatching the file away. He didn’t even look at it. “Come on. Let’s show them we deserve a gold star.”

“Because they give you so many bronze ones, obviously,” Thor sighed, knowing Loki wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise about his job, his pay, his degree that was gathering dust.

Loki’s mouth twitched, he looked distracted. “You know me so well.”

\--

Loki was all charm when sucking up to his boss. Slicked back hair, nice three-piece suit, short nails shining where they tapped against the back of the case file as he handed it over, ever the picture of put-together excellence. Loki’s boss was a stout woman, and Thor was certain she had exactly no capacity for emotions outside of _severe_. She was old, though her hair was blacker than Loki’s, and he knew as Loki’s mother, she was likely the only one besides Thor who could handle his moods.

Thor waited, observing how Loki fidgeted. He always fidgeted when they went to the top floor. Fidgeted like the interns and temps and everyone else below him fidgeted when he was appraising something they’d handed to him.

He knew Loki probably didn’t even realize he was doing it.

The woman dropped the file to her desk and clasped her hands, looking up at Loki like she could eat him. Loki’s smile stretched thin and Thor knew something bad was coming.

“About what we discussed last time—”

“What are our chances with the case? I believe we have a solid win in there,” Loki said, cutting her off.

She nodded. “It’ll do. Now, have you come to a decision about what we last discussed?”

Loki pushed out a rapid breath. Forced a bigger smile. “Of course. I just think I should be allowed a little more time is all—”

“This company cannot wait forever.”

“I—”

“Laufey’s will was explicit in its demands,” she said firmly, stare never wavering. Thor felt like he shouldn’t be hearing any of their conversation, especially when it concerned Loki’s well-known father. “You solidify your place here as partner when you have secured your status as—”

“Yes,” Loki hissed. “Yes, I remember.”

She arched a brow. “Your father was adamant I not release your inheritance until after you are settled down.”

Loki’s jaw worked before he sighed angrily. He leaned forward, flattening his palms on the desk between them. “Mother, Laufey was an old bastard, and he—”

“Knew you’d never understand the demands of a company before you understood the demands of your own family. Those were his terms, no matter how antiquated you believe them to be. So, I’ll only ask one more time. Have you met anyone?”

Thor definitely shouldn’t have been hearing this conversation. He kept his eyes trained on the floor, the ugly patterned carpet, too red for the rest of the office. He wondered if they’d notice if he just slipped out.

But Loki turned slowly back to regard him, locking such an intense gaze on him that Thor knew before Loki said a word what he was thinking.

“Loki—”

“I have,” he said, turning back to his mother. “I was waiting to tell you.”

She narrowed her eyes, looking between the two of them.

“You know he specifically listed children as one of his stipulations.”

Loki held a hand up. “This isn’t the 1800s, Farbauti. I do like to take my time to date those I’m serious about. And you know adoption exists.”

Thor licked his lips and tried not to laugh. It was absurd, the two of them together. Absurd that Loki would ever, in a hundred years, begin to be attracted to anyone, let alone Thor. Loki was a workaholic, an angry, manic workaholic. He didn’t date, he didn’t even have doctor appointments. The man hadn’t seen a dentist in two years as far as he knew. Loki worked, ate, and slept.

He didn’t flirt. He didn’t think about getting married, and— _kids?_

And Loki certainly didn’t step into someone’s space, hands too tight on their arms as he dragged them forward to introduce them to his mother.

“This is Thor Odinson. He’s been working for me for some time. He’s my—”

“Associate,” Thor said without thinking.

Loki’s nails dug into his arm. “Yes. Yes, we work closely together.”

Farbauti tapped a finger on the file. “You put this together, I presume?” Thor nodded. She eyed her son. “And you know how I hate when you call me Farbauti.”

Loki stepped so close his whole side was pressed to Thor’s. He was warm, and Thor wanted nothing more than to bolt out the door. “As you can see, _Farbauti_ , I have been thinking of when we last spoke. I take making partner and inheriting this firm very seriously.”

“How long have you two been together,” she asked.

Thor glanced down, enjoying how Loki floundered. He was so rarely flustered.

“Four months,” Thor said easily, letting the sincerest smile he could manage split his mouth. “Didn’t want to make it public until I’m promoted of course. But I didn’t know the situation was so…urgent.”

Loki looked like he could strangle him.

“Urgent,” he breathed. “Yes.”

“Smart to hide it to avoid the appearance of favoritism. I assume this is why I was not told?”

Loki opened his mouth to speak, but again he answered instead. “I insisted we keep it from everyone. My career is very important to me.”

Farbauti snorted, not unlike Loki sometimes did. “At least to one of you it is.”

Loki squeezed his arm so tightly for a quick moment it hurt, before he was pulling away, trained smile back in place.

“So, everything good here?” he asked, pleasant tone forced more than his smile.

Farbauti shrugged. “Have any plans for the holiday?” She didn’t sound entirely convinced.

Thor realized when Loki looked at him then it was him waiting for an answer.

“Uh,” he tried.

Loki grinned then, too sharp at the edges. “Thanksgiving dinner with his family. I’m meeting the parents tomorrow.”

“Oh wow, you must really like him,” she said, not looking surprised in the least. “And where is your family from, Thor?”

Thor smiled. “Florida.”

Loki’s chin dipped before he swung his gaze back up to Thor. “Florida.”

Thor placed a hand on Loki’s waist. “Took me forever to convince him to fly down. It’ll be easy to persuade him to finally promote me after the trouble _that_ caused me.” And he laughed, because it was funny. He laughed because Loki was shaking beside him, not from anything other than anger.

“If this idiot could get me down to Florida, he could probably get me to do anything,” he said, the words coming out tight. “We’ll see.”

Farbauti breathed out, eyebrows high. “Well, good luck, the two of you. Can’t wait to hear how it goes. Let’s hope there’s no problems, Loki.”

And just like that Loki was nodding and guiding Thor out the way they came.

\--

Loki looked ready to murder him. Right there in his office. He’d probably manage to talk his way out of a guilty verdict too.

“What the hell was that?”

“Power move.”

Loki held his hands up, made a face. “Fucking _yikes_ is what it was. You expect me to play along with this?”

“You’re the one who dragged me into it.”

Loki shoved a finger at his chest. “You didn’t tell me you’re from Florida!”

“I’m not. My parents retired there a few years ago. It’s only a few hours flight, Loki. You could always, I don’t know, _not_ go.” He swatted Loki’s finger away.

“I don’t have a choice,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Then I guess you’re stuck with me.”

“You won’t go along with this for nothing.”

Thor allowed himself a little smile at that. “Loki, you weren’t paying attention. You know what I want.”

“You were a temp.”

“ _Was_ a temp. With my license.”

Loki glared at him. “You want to be a lawyer, find some other firm.”

“Ah, looks like you’ll be coming with me then. Sounds like your mom was serious back there.”

Loki turned toward his large windows, frowning. “She _is_ serious.”

“Well, then looks like you’ll have to give me that promotion then. Boo hoo.”

Loki scoffed. “Don’t be petty. It’s embarrassing. And beneath you.”

“What, my sense of humor is going to make you less fake-attracted to me?”

“Impossible,” Loki muttered. The way he said it was odd, and Thor wondered at it. “I bring you on full-time, give you your own office, you work your own cases…and you do this for me?”

The question was a sincere one, and Thor hadn’t heard Loki sound so open in, well, ever. It made him consider the situation for what it was.

Spending one holiday together. Pretending to date for a while for the position he’d been craving since he graduated law school.

How bad could it be?

“I’ll do it.”

Loki turned and met his eyes.

“You better make it look fucking good, Thor.”

“Same goes for you.”

“Please. Who do you think I am?”

“You’re Loki. And you _are_ the best liar I’ve ever known. When you _want_ to be, of course.”

Loki huffed, lips twitching up.

“What time’s our flight?”

“Eight. Pack light, _love_ ,” Thor called as he headed out the door. He caught himself, smacked the doorway lightly before he said, “Oh, and I want a corner office, I think.”

He missed the way Loki sighed after him.


	2. Cactus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY this is the next WIP I'll be finishing. Thanks for being so patient, everyone!

Loki showed up to the airport dressed in a Burberry suit. Checkered and pressed, his usual matching handkerchief folded neatly in his breast pocket. Thor couldn’t help but bite his lip to keep from outright laughing.

Instead, Thor shook his head and told him to change.

“Into what? Pajamas?” Loki said snidely, lip curling up. He gave Thor a once-over, a question there in his silence.

“They’re leggings, not pajamas.”

He adjusted the grip he had on his bag, a rollaway that he’d had for six years. It was scuffed and dented, but fit exactly what he needed whenever he returned home, which was less and less often with each year that passed. Two shirts, a sweater, three pairs of shorts, more underwear and socks than he needed just in case, a hair brush and fresh pack of ties for the really hot days. Everything zipped and folded and tucked exactly where they needed to be, in one single, easy carry-on suitcase.

Loki on the other hand, had five bags. Four at his feet with the last dangling from his fingers. Thor can’t imagine what they’re all for.

He blinked, looking at Thor expectantly.

“Go change,” Thor told him.

Loki glowered at him. “Why?”

“It’ll be too hot there for that suit. You want sweat stains?”

Loki’s mouth hung open and Thor was sorely tempted to stick a finger in out of impulse. He told himself that would be silly.

“You can’t be serious.”

“The humidity this time of year will kill you. You’ll regret wearing anything more than a tank top and shorts.”

“I hardly think Miami will be that terrible,” he scoffed and Thor couldn’t help but smile.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Thor felt generous. He grabbed two of Loki’s bags and left him to gather the rest. He turned to head to the gate, unable to tamp down the smile on his face.

Loki caught up to him, his designer oxfords clicking on the tile.

“Tell me, Thor.”

“My parents don’t live in Miami, is all.”

“What.”

“They’re in Inverness.”

“What the hell is Inverness?”

Thor laughed and handed over their tickets.

\--

Loki eyed the wetlands from his window seat for twenty minutes before they landed. Thankfully the three-hour flight hadn’t been terrible. Loki had been distracted on his phone and Thor had a book.

But the second Thor chanced a look out the window to check how much longer they’d be, Loki followed his gaze. Then he’d been hooked on the endless marshlands, lips pulled thinner the longer he stared. ~~~~

“You’ll love it,” Thor said, helpless for the opportunity to tease him. “Almost as much as I’ll love my new office when we get back.”

Loki was so focused he didn’t reply.

\--

It was two more hours of Loki quietly grumbling to himself and glaring at everyone who passed, the sky, the grass, the ducks napping beneath the shade of a too-small tree. Thor rented a car at the airport and, if just to mess with his overworked boss, he got the biggest truck available.

When he pulled up in front of Loki, who’d been waiting surrounded by luggage, Thor knew it was worth it for the look on Loki’s face alone.

His jaw dropped, the pricey shades sat on his nose slide weakly from his face to his hesitant hand, before he tried to collect himself.

“What the hell is that?”

“This is a pickup truck. Sorry, all they had,” Thor lied. He tapped the empty passenger seat, looking down at Loki from his perch behind the wheel.

“Who’s going to move these?” he asked, waving at his bags.

Thor smiled and let Loki figure it out.

\--

“How much longer until we’re to your parents’?”

Thor eyed the sun as he drove, eyeing the relaxed traffic stretched out in the front of them. Loki had been counting with each stoplight. What he was counting, Thor didn’t know, but the count was up to four so far.

“About ten minutes, unfortunately.” Loki muttered _five_. “What are you counting?”

“The number of gun stores in this godforsaken town.”

“They added a few, interesting.”

“Interesting?”

“You’ll probably see the inside of one before we leave,” Thor told him. Then, feeling an explanation would be wheedled out of him regardless, he added, “If Odin has anything to say about it.”

“Odin?”

“My father.”

“Calm down, Luke,” Loki huffed, sarcastic. “I can tell you two get along swimmingly. How’s the Death Star these days?”

Thor snorted. “Yeah, that’s about right?”

“ _About_ right?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

Loki didn’t elaborate, and Thor was grateful. If Loki could read the room so well, maybe Thanksgiving wouldn’t be a total wash.

He needed that promotion.

He needed that office.

He needed to do something meaningful with his life.

Loki was looking at him when he checked for the next turn.

Logically, he knew they’d need to carry on the charade of dating for longer than Thanksgiving. He knew that. So why was he just now realizing? Why hadn’t he realized before that moment that he’d probably have to lie about this for the foreseeable future if he wanted Loki’s mother to believe what they wanted her to?

“We need a plan,” Thor said.

“We do. I was thinking we find the alcohol and get your family as drunk as they possibly can be and then we leave. They’ll never have to know.”

Thor started to smile in spite of himself. “Odin doesn’t drink, sorry. I meant more of what we’ll do when we’re there. How far…how far you’re wanting to go to sell this?”

“I can suck you off.” Thor almost hit the brakes. Then, “With any luck we won’t be pushed to do anything to sell it. We can just stand next to each other and smile now and again, that should be plenty for most.”

Thor nodded. “And if it’s not?”

“What? Is someone in your family unusually nosy? Will they want pictures for the photo album?” Loki laughed, joking. But when he saw Thor wasn’t cracking, the laughter died off. “Oh wow, they’ll want pictures.”

“It’s likely,” Thor told him. “My mother thinks I’m bringing home my boyfriend of a few months.”

“Yeah, I assumed that. Why else would anyone bring their partner home for the holidays?” Loki picked at his hands, but didn’t look away from him.

Thor signaled another turn. They were almost there. The houses started to look familiar, along with the planters sat wilting on sun-bleached porches.

“She might expect us to kiss. Think you have it in you?”

He threw a sly look at Loki, trying to tease him. But Loki looked deathly serious.

“Oh, I think I’ll manage.”

Thor swallowed.

“How will we have started dating, then? What’s our story?” Loki asked, moving on. He switched his studying gaze to his hands, smoothing the cuticles down. Utterly casual and unbothered about his own statement.

Thor knew Loki had a blindspot when it came to him, some innate ability to tolerate him when he could tolerate so few others in the company. He hardly had reason to believe that tolerance could, or _would_ , extend to the million scenarios a holiday could throw at them.

“Let’s stick with the four months. We kept it lowkey so it wouldn’t look like I was promoted just because I liked you.”

Loki smirked at that and Thor wanted to clarify.

But they were out of time.

“We’re here,” Thor said as he pulled up in front of his parents’ home. “We’ll figure it out later. I’m sure they’ll be preoccupied with my brother for a while anyway.”

“You have a brother?”

Thor nodded. He pointed to the gleaming blue SUV parked in the driveway behind Odin’s old Mustang.

“You’ll meet him. The only thing you have to worry about is Odin.”

Loki must have caught on the edge in his voice. He blinked out the window at the row of cars, leaning so close to Thor he could smell the cologne he wore. Something expensive, he knew. Loki always splurged on things Thor had trouble bothering with in the first place. He grew up having his face shoved in mud. He graduated to having after-school practice to do the same just to get his father off his back in high school. Made sure he projected the perfect image of the perfect son.

He sighed, knowing he’d probably not get away from watching at least an hour of football before they got to leave again. Loki really didn’t know what he was in for, and Thor almost felt sorry for him.

“What’s the deal there?” Loki asked, peeking at him from his shades. “With him?”

Thor reached up and plucked them from Loki’s face. He folded them and tucked them into his pocket. Loki smiled, all venom.

“You’ll see,” was all Thor said.

\--

It took two knocks and then his mother was there, grinning from ear to ear. She drew him into a hug and he gladly returned it. The worst part about not visiting often was hardly seeing her.

Her pale eyes landed on Loki just behind him, and the grin widened.

“Loki, Frigga. Frigga, Loki.”

“Oh!” she purred. “You must be my son’s new friend.”

Loki gave her a polite laugh, and Thor wondered at it. Never had he heard that laugh come from his boss. Genuine laughter, rarely. Cruel laughter, often. Sardonic, frustrated laughter, always. Never this—an attempt at geniality.

At least that’s what Thor hoped it was.

“Boyfriend, actually,” Loki corrected her. Very smooth.

Loki, the height of self-satisfied, wrapped an arm around Thor’s waist and fluttered his lashes at him. Thor gripped him tight around his side, fingers digging in beneath his arm where they lay hidden from his mother’s view. Loki’s laughter cut off and Thor jostled him for good measure.

Frigga whooped, arms shooting up in the air before wrapping around Loki to pull him in for a hug of his own. He gasped a laugh, and Thor counted that one as genuine.

“Hey, Mom?” called a voice from inside and Thor’s stomach coiled in on itself. “Where does Dad keep the keys? Did you move them again?”

Frigga let Loki go to pat his cheek before inviting them inside.

Thor was shocked to see Loki’s cheeks were flushed, his eyes trained on the floor as he stepped inside first.

Who knew the key to subduing Loki Laufeyson was his mother?

\--

“You grew a beard,” was the first thing Thor thought to say when his brother came into view.

Balder looked tired, too tired for his age. His beard wasn’t long but it was messy and Thor wondered at it, suspicious. He didn’t miss the way Balder kept his hands in his pockets.

“Where’s Nanna?”

“Your grandmother?” Loki asked, looking between the two of them.

Balder grimaced and Thor started to gather some idea of what was up.

“His wife,” Thor told him gently. “This is my little brother, Balder. Crown jewel of the family, fishing aficionado, diver, et cetera.”

Balder didn’t even roll his eyes. He just blinked and shot a hand out to shake Loki’s, who did, with a quick glance to Thor. Even Loki knew something was wrong.

Balder had never been a good liar.

Balder’s hand was missing his wedding ring, and Thor very much wanted to turn and leave right back out into the humid air. Wanted to drag Loki with him and say they could play their little game of pretend back at the office, where the only person who needed to see it would see.

But he’d promised his mom he’d bring someone over, and he had to at least _try_. Try not to seem like he was in a slump, socially, professionally, emotionally probably. He hadn’t really spent much time on that last part.

“Guess you don’t have to worry about being in the spotlight so much today, huh?” Balder tried to joke, but his eyes never changed from the dull stare they held. “I’ll be the fuckup for once.”

Thor fought not to say anything. Instead, he bit the inside of his cheek, knowing it wasn’t worth saying what he thought right then.

 _Do it for the job_ , he reminded himself.

Loki watched their exchange with careful eyes. Finally, they settled on Thor before narrowing, and he knew he’d have to answer questions. Soon.

_Do it for the job._

\--

Balder was called away by their mother, and Loki jumped on the chance when Frigga suggested Thor should give him a tour of the backyard.

“Perfect,” Loki called. “I love gardening!”

Frigga smiled warmly at them as they passed outside and Loki saw his chance once the glass door slid shut behind them.

“Your brother has secrets, I think!” he whispered, conspiring.

Thor ignored him. “You hate getting dirty. You don’t garden.”

“I’ll have you know I have a very much _alive_ cactus at home.”

“And where is that? Your two-hundred-square-foot shoebox of a flat that gets no sun? You probably don’t even have good plumbing.”

Thor snorted, thinking it would glide off Loki like everything else. But when he turned to see, Loki was biting his lip, dark brows pulled down in a dark look that told Thor his words hit. In a bad way.

“Hey, sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”

“You’re not wrong. My place is shitty, I know it. Am I that much of a stereotype?”

“Workaholic who never spends his money on nice things that actually matter?” Thor tried. Loki’s lips quirked a little. “Kind of.”

“But I have nine suits,” Loki said, in better humor. As if it was something to brag about.

“You have fourteen. You forget you have me order their dry cleaning.”

Loki breathed a laugh at that, nodding slowly.

“Your mom is nice.”

Thor spied her in the window. She was watching them as she prepped dinner, Balder talking her ear off beside her. She smiled when she noticed Thor watching her.

“She is.”

Loki shrugged. “Mine is decidedly not.”

The little half laugh he gave then had Thor wanting to dig. He wanted to pry, and maybe it was because it was Loki he was curious about. Loki, who he saw ninety-percent of his days, who he knew almost nothing personal about. It was all image with Loki. The closest he got to seeing what was going on in his head had been the day before, when Farbauti had torn into him.

The humidity was making Loki’s hair curl at the edges, casting itself in deep brown hues Thor had never really noticed before. The light warmed them both as they walked, as Thor made good on the idea of a tour. It was Odin’s garden, had been his hobby ever since he retired.

He hated this garden for a long time, after.

Loki nodded sagely at every plant Thor named, every different kind of leaf, every fruit-bearing tree that was currently bereft due to the season.

“You’ve got quite the green thumb,” Loki said. If Thor didn’t know Loki like he did, he’d think it was genuine.

“I’ve never touched this place. I’m only out here because Odin isn’t.”

A hand on his arm had him stopping. Loki didn’t let go, not even when Thor tried to tug free.

“What happened?”

“Oh, you’re using your serious voice. Are you about to fire me?”

Loki squeezed tighter and Thor shook his arm again, testing. Loki held fast.

“I’ve been trying to piece it together. First, I thought maybe it was the typical shitty childhood. But I had that and look how I turned out. You seem too well-rounded for that. Then I thought, oh, maybe he fucked up. And going off what Balder said earlier I don’t think I’m far off. But now it’s a question mark, a mystery. What could you have done so wrong that dear old Dad isn’t a fan of you anymore? Stole his car? You’re too old. Too much school debt? No, because both your parents are retired. You don’t retire without a lot of money.” Loki stepped close and Thor stared him down. Tried his best to put the smell of his cologne to the back of his mind, tried to forget it.

Loki’s eyes shined with delight. “Then I thought, well it must be a girl. Did perfect son Thor bring home the wrong girl?”

“Loki,” Thor warned.

Loki pressed close, voice lower than a whisper.

“No. No, I think he brought home the wrong _boy_. Daddy didn’t like that at all, did he?”

Thor looked around them, checking to see if they were being watched. Or pranked. He’d accept that. He yanked his arm free to Loki’s trilling laughter.

“Yeah, that’s exactly it, really. I came out last year. He’s only been talking to me again for a few months.”

Loki’s mirth faltered at that. “Oh.”

“I haven’t seen him for almost a year.”

“You haven’t been home in a year?”

“Nope.”

Thor saw Loki’s face fall, going from pleased to guilty in the span of a few seconds. And he was glad. Loki was so rarely guilty. He couldn’t believe it.

He really couldn’t.

He poked Loki’s chest with a finger.

“This is supposed to go easy. We have dinner, spend the night, fly back out first thing in the morning. We don’t need to _bond_.”

Loki gained back some ground, rolling his eyes and covering Thor’s hand with his own before pushing it away. The movement was controlled, almost gentle.

Loki’s voice was easy-going when he said, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

\--

Before they reach the deck, Loki rushed out, “I was kicked out when my father found out.”

“Found out what?”

“That I liked anything that could walk.” He shrugged his Burberry-covered shoulders. “Or maybe it was the orgy he caught me having. Hm. Guess I’ll never know.”

His wiggling eyebrows then were devious, and Thor laughed, accepting it for the apology it was.

\--

Thor brought up their luggage, taking two steps at a time so he wouldn’t be left to the wolves for too long. So far, they’d managed a few hours without any major missteps, or too many questions.

But when Thor came back down, he saw Odin in the kitchen, a sour look directed at Balder and Loki seemingly at once. His father always had that talent. Everyone was always wrong.

“Dad,” he said, trying not to seem too eager. Better he be the focus than Loki just then. He wasn’t sure why he felt obligated to take the brunt of Odin’s dislike, for Loki of all people. But Loki was standing with his telltale look of worry plastered on his face and Thor knew that never boded well for anything, or anyone.

“Thor,” Odin muttered. He scratched just under his eyepatch. “You hear the news about your brother?”

Thor looked between them. He knew that tone.

“Where’s Mom?” Thor asked instead.

“She went back to the corner store for more pumpkin puree,” Loki answered for them, voice falsely cheery in the tension filling the room. “For a second pie.”

“Nanna left him, took the kids,” Odin announced in his ever-deadpan tone. “Your brother thinks he’s free to sleep where he pleases—”

“Dad—” Balder tried, sounding weak.

“And,” Odin continued, turning to Thor like they hadn’t just spent a year avoiding each other’s presence. “He’s moved to the Ozarks. Got a cabin and everything. Quit his job. He’s living the rural dream, isn’t that what you said, boy?”

Loki took a step towards Thor.

And another.

“Really Balder?” Thor asked him.

Balder seemed pained then, physically even moreso. His face twisted and he nodded oddly.

“Last month.”

“A whole month!” Odin cried.

“Hey, Dad,” Thor said, trying for happy. “Have you met Loki yet?”

Odin waved a hand, dismissing them. “Yes, nice kid, good job. The problem here is your brother didn’t think it was important to tell his family what’s been going on for the last month.”

“Like the last year, then?” Thor said, unable to keep the words in.

Loki took another step until he was standing next to him, looking decidedly neutral.

Odin narrowed his eye and Thor braced himself for what was next. A shouting match, he knew.

But the clack of keys turning in the front door lock broke the tension and in walked Frigga.

“Boys! Look who I ran into!”

Behind her was Sif, waving her hellos.

Her eyes landed on Loki, then slid to Thor.

Thor had never seen her eyebrows shoot so high.

\--

“What is she doing here?” Loki asked when Frigga had successfully—and mostly obliviously—rallied Odin into her pie-making schemes for the rest of the afternoon.

Sif cleared her throat. “I’m right here.”

“What are you doing here? Don’t tell me you’re cousins, you two dated for four months.”

“You remember that?” Thor asked, surprised. He hadn’t thought Loki noticed that stuff.

Loki blinked. “I always remember those things.”

Thor’s stomach does a little flip when Loki shifts his gaze to the wall before shooting back to Sif.

 _Stop it_ , he told himself.

“No, god no,” Sif told him. “We always spend holidays together. It helps to have friends as a buffer for shitty family gatherings. I should be asking what are _you_ doing here?”

Loki shrugged. He elbowed Thor.

They hadn’t discussed this.

Should Sif know the truth? Or—

“We’re dating,” Loki said, sparing Thor the decision.

Sif laughed, bright and loud, a guffaw to shake the walls. She laughed so hard she began to snort and Thor shoved her. Loki frowned the longer she went on.

“What? Is it that unbelievable?” he asked, as if he was insulted.

“Then kiss. Right now. Suck those lips, boys.”

“You’re tipsy.” Thor finally caught on, realizing.

“Maybe I _am_ halfway to drunk. But not anywhere near drunk enough for what I’m hearing. You can’t be serious.”

Determined, Loki grabbed Thor’s hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing the back of it.

Even Thor couldn’t help but laugh a little at it.

“Bullshit,” Sif jibed, shaking her head.

Thor turned to see the way Loki’s little frown fell into a glare. He didn’t let go of Thor’s hand, though.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

Kissing Loki.

His boss.

The one who signed his paychecks.

Well not literally, HR did that. But close enough.

His boss, who still held his hand.

Loki was holding his hand.

He was arguing with Sif, but Thor could only concentrate on the tiny shifts in pressure as Loki kept holding him through it. Little pinpricks that rolled up his arm, through his shoulder, a tingle settling at his jaw. He felt too warm then, his cheeks flushing.

He pulled until Loki was distracted enough, turning fully to face Thor mid-rebuke.

Thor kissed him. It was easy. Loki’s lips were soft beneath his, and maybe warm. It had been too quick to tell.

“We’re dating,” Thor said, not looking away from Loki’s eyes.

Sif was wide-eyed when he turned back to her. She was shaking her head, disbelieving.

“No, no, no, no, no.”

“Yep.”

“Is this why you won’t shut up about him?” she asked Thor in a too-loud whisper she surely thought was sneaky. Loki was very amused by the question. “You literally _never shut up_ about him. Oh my god, I can’t believe I never saw it.”

“How long has Thor been complaining about me?” Loki asked her, and yes, he was definitely far too amused by the turn of events. Thor needed to shut it down.

“Years!”

“Okay!” Thor said, pulling free from Loki to grab Sif’s shoulders. “Let’s find you more eggnog, huh?”

“Ooh, yes please.”

Thor didn’t see the way Loki looked down at his hands, passing thumb over palm, smiling soft and private.


	3. Naked and Afraid

Loki was taking to the festivities well enough. Where Thor worried Loki would somehow falter when it came to interacting with his parents and brother, he instead seemed to be perfectly navigating their strange family dynamic. He smiled in all the right places. He accepted every cup of alcohol that was handed to him (by Frigga, who was just happy to have a new drinking buddy to gossip with). He put up with the awkward silence and steely glares Odin sent Balder’s way. He hovered by Thor dutifully when there was a lapse in conversation. There was just one thing.

He hadn’t let himself be cornered by Odin.

“You should mingle,” Thor told him, jerking his chin towards his father. He smirked and Loki jabbed at his arm.

“No way.”

“Why not?”

“Have you _seen_ your father? And after how you talked him up?”

“Exactly why you should mingle. It’ll piss him off.” Thor noticed Balder looking their way as he helped their mother with the cooking. Thor bumped his shoulder with Loki’s, covering his pinching fingers with his own. Loki leaned closer, saying something under his breath Thor didn’t quite catch.

Loki made a face. “I think not. And it’s not exactly easy to mingle when there’s only four people to mingle with. I’ve said my hellos, I’ve given them the obligatory anecdote of my wild youth.” He rolled his eyes. “That’s enough.”

Thor edged closer, if only to get a rise out of his boss. “I thought you liked conflict.”

“Only if it’s fun for me,” Loki replied sourly, not bothering to move away. “I didn’t realize you were such an advocate for the mischief I get up to.”

“I’m paid to be an advocate to your mischief.”

“And as I recall, your pay is quite good.”

Thor whistled at that. “Forgive me, _love_ ,” he whispered hotly. Loki _hmm_ ’d at him, though Thor couldn’t place the tone. “But you pay me shit.”

Loki shrugged. “Do I?”

“I’ll just say I’m looking forward to being paid what I’m worth.” Then, “Finally.”

Loki turned his eyes to the floor, lips pursed in an odd way.

“I don’t have control of who gets paid what,” Loki said after a long moment. He sniffed and pulled at his collar.

Thor scoffed into his own drink. Rum with an orange slice that was floating around one very large ball of ice. Frigga’s new fad, apparently. He watched as she fretted over the potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing and vegetables. Odin was assigned to the ham. Sif had staked her claim on the couch, sagging in the middle with her phone out, her own glass of eggnog empty where she balanced it on a thigh. Football played on the television at a volume just high enough Thor was annoyed to know what was happening.

Odin was currently basting the ham in a glaze, almost too careful with his brush strokes.

“Oh, darn,” he swore, missing some invisible patch of meat. He reglazed it.

“He’s not nearly as bad as you made him out to be,” Loki commented.

Thor hummed. “He’s just distracted by Balder. If past years are anything to go by, he usually gets going around dinner.”

“Ah,” Loki hummed, an echo. “Then there’s still time.”

Thor smiled and squeezed Loki’s fingers. “Now you’re getting it.”

Loki met Thor’s eyes with something he couldn’t name. Thor felt warm from the look and chalked it up to the alcohol.

Seeming to snap out of it, Loki smoothed down his shirt. “Still, this is leagues better than what my holidays looked like growing up. Laufey was…” Loki shivered, all dramatics.

Thor could only nod. He wasn’t sure why Loki felt like giving him anecdotes about his life, all more personal than the surface stories he gave to Frigga and the others. Them, he was obviously just keeping happy, charmed.

But with Thor they were different. Intimate insights to his life. He’d been doing it since they landed. As if the stories were just pouring from him, refusing to be kept back. Maybe it was just what Loki out of his element looked like. Take him away from an office and he was forced to socialize properly. Thor hadn’t even realized he’d be capable of interacting with another person if that interaction didn’t involve yelling, belittling, or manipulating.

Maybe it was that.

Maybe it was because it was Thor.

Thor frowned into his drink and took another sip.

“Fuck Laufey,” Thor muttered.

Loki swung his eyes to his, startled but clearly pleased.

“Suddenly I don’t doubt the idea of your own office so much. Look at that, Thor. Soon enough you’ll be paid a salary and everything.”

He hated how those words made his heart race, just the tiniest bit. He’d put so much hard work and restless years in to get a good job placement, and now here he was—resorting to a lie to finally get it.

“I try my best. If I’d known this was how to make it, I should have asked you to fake-date me when you first took me on.”

“Can’t imagine why you never did,” Loki teased. “And don’t forget, this was my idea.”

“Oh, I won’t.” He sighed. “The only thing better than getting what I’ve wanted since school is knowing I’ll have enough blackmail on you to last me a lifetime.”

Loki grinned, but it was slow in appearing. “So, you _have_ learned something working for me.”

Thor smiled, catching himself enjoying Loki’s company, and not for the first time that day. And if he was being honest—and maybe a little egged on by the few drinks in his system—it wasn’t the first since he became Loki’s assistant.

It was dangerous. He had to keep telling himself that.

Dangerous and stupid.

This was fake.

A game.

Odin grunted, pleased as he stepped back to appraise his handiwork.

“Come help me with the cherries, son,” he tossed back to Thor, his one eye holding no malice.

Thor pointed at himself, couldn’t help it he was so taken aback. Odin waved him forward and still he didn’t move. His legs didn’t seem to want to work.

Loki cleared his throat and then his hand was on Thor’s lower back, urging him forward.

Thor went to him as beckoned, but only because he could feel the heat from Loki’s hand burning through his shirt. He couldn’t have that. It was hot enough as it was.

He blinked back at Loki, still in his Burberry suit. He had no idea how Loki was managing in the heat, but managing he was. Thor figured it was down to some misplaced sense of stubborn willpower to not look anything less than how he always did. Prim, proper, and professional.

Loki scratched at his jaw as Frigga zeroed in on him, pulling him in to help with chopping. His hair bounced and he had to tuck it behind his ear before relenting finally.

Prim, proper, professional, and handsome.

Thor sighed at himself, then faced Odin, fully resigned to whatever was about to happen.

\--

Odin had him create a lattice of toothpicks stabbed through pineapple slices and cherries, only interrupting to make minute adjustments. He didn’t budge, he didn’t shove, he didn’t even scream.

“What is this?”

His father’s brows raised slow. “What is what, son?”

Thor wondered at the tone. Free of anything hateful. Wasn’t even close to angry.

“Nothing.”

\--

Odin kept calling on him to do small things. Reglaze the ham, son. What did you think of the bogus foul, son? How old is Loki and how much does he get paid, son? Would you mind running for some extra eggs, son? Gas too, while you’re at it.

Loki ran blocker when he came back from filling the tank up. Sif and he had obviously been talking, a couple of dark-haired whisperers huddled safely away from the rest of Thor’s family.

Loki raised an eyebrow at him as he dragged him inside their bubble.

“Finish your drink, son. Eat your food, son. Ever read a book, son? Go out and play fetch with your brother, son.” He snorted. “Does he ever stop with the _son_ stuff?”

Sif shook her head sagely. “Just wait until he starts with the _boys_.”

Thor aimed his laughter at the floor.

“That’s right, I forgot about that.”

“What?” Loki asked them.

Sif eyed him. “Odin thought I was a boy until two years ago. Kept tagging _boy_ to the end of everything. I thought it was a joke until. Well.”

Loki gave her a look of disbelief. “How could he not know? How’d he find out?”

Thor answered for her. “Walked in on her in the bathroom.”

“The guy couldn’t look me in the eye for weeks,” she said, sipping her eggnog. “The poor bastard.”

Thor squeezed her shoulder. “If you get my mom drunk enough, she’ll tell the whole story.”

Loki’s eyes gleamed and Thor wondered not if, but when, and how much Loki would get Frigga drunk.

\--

At some point after the ham was put in the oven, Odin lead him outside. Thor suddenly found himself sweating back in the heat, his collar damp, a cold beer in his hand, with Odin looking at him like he was in for a _meaningful_ talk. A true heart to heart.

Thor tossed half his beer back in one gulp.

“Good to see you home.”

Thor squinted out into the sunlight. The sky was starting to turn warm at the edges, soft oranges bleeding over the blue to overtake the clouds and everything below. The shade of the deck creeped slow over Odin’s garden beneath them.

“We can get this out of the way now, if that’s better for you,” Thor said.

Odin placed his hands in his pockets, watching Thor drink.

“Did Balder come to you when his family imploded?”

Thor thumbed the rim of his beer and took another swallow. “No.”

Odin shook his head, looking wistful. “I told that boy he shouldn’t have gotten that girl pregnant when he did. Barely out of high school.”

“They were young and in love. Be grateful he had sports sponsors to take care of everything how he did.”

“All the money in the world and that boy couldn’t keep it in his pants.” Odin clicked his tongue. “I taught that boy better.”

Thor laughed. “That sounds familiar.”

“Hm?”

Thor placed a hand against the wooden fence lining the porch. Thick, old beams of redwood that Odin ordered specially made. He dug a fingernail into the grain of the wood until it pinched.

“You know I only came back to see Mom.”

Odin’s chin dipped. “I know,” he said, soft.

“Even then,” he started. He swallowed thickly. “Even then, I wondered if this would be worth it. Having to put up with you. The last I saw you, you gave me a bloody nose. Screaming how you taught me better.”

“I did.”

“No apology. Figures.”

“No,” he said. “I did do those things. I shouldn’t have.”

Another swig. There was hardly any beer left. “So you’re a good father now. An understanding father. The kind of father who doesn’t punch their kid when he finds out he likes men too? Well, hate to break it to you, Dad, but I still do.”

He heard Odin shift from foot to foot, saw his shadow follow suit. An arm raised and then dropped back to his side.

“You know I quit drinking.”

“Just because you quit doesn’t mean I forgive you. The two don’t go hand in hand.”

Odin’s sigh floated over to him, heavy. “I didn’t think it would mean not seeing our son for near on a year.”

“What did you think would happen? I’d smile after and pretend you didn’t just break my nose? Snap out of it and say I’ll marry a girl, I _promise_.”

He finished his beer and set it down on the wood. Finally, he turned to Odin, glaring at him through the sun to see his haggard expression.

“I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think it was proper.”

“And now you do?”

Odin was silent.

“You haven’t changed,” Thor rasped, shaking his head. He straightened and pointed at the door leading to the kitchen where he knew Loki was likely spying through the glare of the sun. “I’m surprised you didn’t throw Loki out.”

“Your mother said you hated your boss.”

Thor shrugged. “Sometimes I do. Sometimes I like him too.”

It wasn’t a lie.

“You’re really dating your boss? Don’t they have a rule against that somewhere?”

Thor curled his lips. “Probably.” They did. But it hardly mattered given the situation, and his soon to be promotion.

“He’s a nice kid.”

“You’ve barely talked to him except to complain about Balder.”

“He agrees with what I say,” Odin said. “That’s good enough for me. More than I ever got out of you.”

“Because I was the problem child.”

“You were a trouble maker. Bullheaded, hyper, willful to a fault. Popular with anyone who met you. Too popular. A lady’s man.” Odin smiled at some memory. “Don’t know where you got it from.”

“You,” Thor reminded him flatly. “You always loved to say I got everything from you.”

Odin chuckled. “Not everything.”

Thor caught the eye of Loki through the window. He quickly looked away, hands busy beside Frigga’s in a big glass bowl.

“Like what?” Thor asked, spinning the empty bottle around as he watched the way Loki’s mouth moved, saying something that had Frigga in giggles. The sun reflected harsh off the glass, a strange theft of the slope of Loki’s cheeks as he smiled.

Thor felt sick to his stomach. Blamed it on the beer.

“I’m a mean drunk. You’re a happy drunk. And you handle your liquor better than I ever could.”

Thor turned to his father, thirty years of experiences and memories playing over in his head, leading up to the fight that had changed so much.

Odin was staring hard at Thor, eye gentle despite the gravity of his words. Thor knew it wasn’t _the_ apology, but it was a kind of apology. And maybe that was all he’d ever get.

Thor nodded and headed back inside.

\--

Frigga cooed when she saw Thor coming back inside.

“Oh, good! Loki was just telling me all about the first time you asked him out!”

Thor tilted his head, watching the muscle of Loki’s cheek leap.

“Oh? I remember it a little differently. How did it go again?”

Loki waved a hand in the air. “Please, don’t be silly, Thor.”

Thor leaned a hip against the counter, not looking away from the myriad of expressions that waged war over Loki’s face. His twitching eyebrow, tense eyes, hard jaw framing a failing smirk.

“You tell it so much better than I do.”

Frigga bumped her hip into Loki’s and smiled conspiratorially at him.

“I wouldn’t mind hearing it one more time.”

Loki heaved in a breath and sighed, eyes narrowing for an instant before he began.

“Well I always knew Thor had a thing for me. You’re very transparent, you know.”

“Oh,” Thor said. “For sure.”

“He was practically begging to be my assistant when a…position opened up.”

The position being the firing of a former employee. Smooth.

Loki dropped his eyes for a moment. “I knew your son was quite educated. Put himself through school. Graduated top of his class. Extensive volunteer work doing things most people wouldn’t even think to do, let alone bother with.” He nodded, almost to himself. “Yes, I approved his hire because I knew any other firm didn’t deserve him. I knew he’d be a good lawyer. I knew he was just… _good_.”

Frigga’s smile warmed. “Must have been fate. You just knew you needed to have him.”

Loki met Thor’s eyes, holding them. He nodded again.

“I did. I needed him.”

Thor swallowed.

It was a game.

Fake.

A lie.

He couldn’t blink.

“Anyway, shortly after he accepted my request of him being my assistant, I realized I—I realized he felt something for me. You can’t hide so many flirty looks in such a small space, of course. And he always seems to be there, just waiting for me. Always knows exactly what I need when I need it, often before I think of it.” He leaned into Frigga, back to his usual suave self. Thor’s heart still raced, a stampede behind his ribs. “He’s incredibly smart, self-motivated, and hard working. He’s certainly made my life more bearable. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

Thor felt his heart might stop.

Loki went on. “When he asked me out it was actually in front of my mother—Farbauti, who owns the firm for now. I thought it was very bold of him, so I said yes.”

Not a lie, but not a truth either. Loki had always been so good with words. How to seamlessly sew two realities together, linking threads that had no business connecting.

Frigga’s eyes went wide. “Thor, look at you! I remember you always bringing home different girlfriends in high school—oh, he was _all_ the rage you know—I’m happy you finally landed a good one.”

Loki laughed, an edge of gossip in it. He shot a hand out and wrapped his fingers around Thor’s wrist.

Thor looked down at their hands, and Loki noticed.

Frigga noticed too. She waved a hand at them both. “Go on, what’s a holiday if you don’t have some time to yourselves? I’ve kidnapped Loki enough for today. Thank you for all your help, love.”

Loki actually blushed. “Of course.”

Thor nodded, muttering something about dinner. He didn’t even know what, he just knew he needed to get out of there.

He took the lead. He stepped quickly past the kitchen, Loki in tow where he still held Thor’s arm. Sif was being badgered by Balder on the couch, arguing about the semantics of football.

He walked past all that. He eyed the doors and the stairs.

He led Loki up the stairs.

Loki followed silently, didn’t even bother tugging his hand free. Probably best for keeping up appearances, Thor knew. Best to hold up the lie.

Upstairs it was easier to breathe. Easier to acknowledge the strangely erratic thump of his heart as he stopped in the doorway to the guest bedroom he’d put their luggage in. They parted as he doubled over, breathing deep. Loki just stood by, watching him try and catch his breath.

“Are you dying?” he asked. “Tell me if I need to call an ambulance, but maybe try and wait it out. I tried the stuffing and it’s very good. I don’t want to miss it.”

Thor huffed. He straightened and met Loki’s gaze, seeing Loki already staring at him.

“Did you mean all that?”

Loki made a face. “Of course. I only lie when I need to.”

“You looked at my resume?”

“Farbauti may handle most things, but it’s me who oversees who comes into the company or not. I make the final decision who I’m working with.”

“And you still made me a temp?”

Loki just kept staring at him. “Everyone starts out a temp. Or an intern. There are steps. Why do you think I cornered you into being my assistant when the time came?”

Thor threw his hands up. “Always thought it was because I never kowtowed to your…” He gestured at all of him. Loki nodded encouragingly. “You-ness.”

“My anger and bullshit, you mean?”

Thor nodded. “Yes!”

Loki laughed. “You aren’t the type to submit to anyone. I respected that about you. I still do. You’re a very good assistant.”

Thor closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against the doorframe.

“So you’re just reluctant to promote me because you know the next logical step is either I make partner in a few years or leave the firm for someone who will make me partner.”

“Or if you open your own.”

“Yeah,” Thor breathed. “That. And just for the record, I do _not_ look flirtatiously at you.”

“Uh huh.”

“That’s my extreme dislike for how you treat others.”

“Absolutely.”

“And,” Thor said, finding himself unable to stop talking. Why couldn’t he stop talking? He was rambling. “I do not follow you around. I only seem to be everywhere you are because that _is_ my job.”

“Yes,” Loki breathed, and Thor could feel it soft on his cheek. He stayed still, eyes still shut. He was dreaming, it was a lie, a game, a false—

Loki’s hands stroked up his arms, and he was close, too close, close enough—

Thor let himself be kissed. Someone let out a little moan, and he wasn’t entirely sure it was him or not. Loki tightened his grip to bruising when Thor started kissing back. Soft, slow, close-mouthed things. Easy and innocent, despite the heat crawling over his chest from it. Loki breathed in and Thor automatically licked his lips, wanting to be let in. And Loki let him. Let himself be licked into, and he tasted like bread and onions and he was so warm, even from the barest touch he could get from grasping at Loki’s waist.

Loki whispered, “Thor.” Melted against him and sighed in a pretty way that had Thor wanting to tear his clothes off. “Thor,” he said again.

Then Thor heard it. Steps coming up the stairs.

He bit Loki’s lip once before letting him go. He reached up to run his thumb over his mouth.

Loki was flushed, dark hair out of place from its usual sweep to hang loose at his shoulders. He released his death grip from Thor’s arms and stepped back.

It was Balder. He glared at them as he passed and Thor, reminded very much of when Balder had been a fifteen-year-old pissed off at his brother coming home to visit during break, watched him as he fled to his room and slammed the door.

He turned back to Loki who was worrying his lip between his teeth.

Thor reached up and cupped his cheek, allowing himself to run the same thumb over Loki’s lips.

“You’ll bruise,” Thor told him. Loki immediately stopped.

It occurred to him then they shouldn’t have any reason to hide what they were doing. They were supposed to be dating, after all. It was a game. This was part of that game.

And the way Loki was looking everywhere but at him told him he was right.

Just a game.

\--

Dinner was a lot, frankly.

Dinner was too much food, not enough alcohol, and too much Odin.

They all sat packed around his parents’ too-small-for-parties table and passed dishes around from one person to the next until their plates were stacked with food they wouldn’t finish. Odin’s was the highest, and Thor knew it had to be his replacement for drinking—and very likely the main contributor to the gut he was starting to sport.

Balder sat next to Odin, across from Loki, with Sif on his other side. Frigga sat at the other end of the table with Thor next to her. Beneath the overzealous spread of food, Thor was hyperaware of the knee Loki kept pressed easy to his.

Balder pushed his food around his plate, effectively nibbling while Frigga and Sif dived in, chatting about the game from the afternoon. Odin swallowed three bites, and Thor knew it was coming, he _knew it_.

“So Loki, how long will you two be keeping this up?”

Thor dropped his fork while Loki gasped down his own food. He really was enjoying the stuffing.

“Eating or dating, sir?”

“Now, son, no need to call me sir,” Odin told him. His eye twinkled when he glanced at Thor. “And I mean to say, what are your intentions with my son?”

“Oh my god,” Thor muttered, going to retrieve his fork.

“I plan to have him give me this recipe when we get back so I can have it year-round.” Loki turned effortlessly to Frigga. “This stuffing is glorious.”

She smiled at him until Sif asked another question.

Loki threw a pleading look to Thor before turning back to face Odin.

“I think you should be asking Thor that.”

Thor almost dropped his fork again.

“Alright. Son, I assume we’ll be seeing a lot more of Loki now?”

Thor felt a twitch threaten his eye. “Why?”

“Because you brought him…today?”

“And?”

Loki shoved his knee hard into his beneath the table.

“What I think your father is trying to ask you, Thor, is do we have _plans_.”

“That’s a good way to put it,” his father agreed. “For your future together.”

Thor took the slowest bite of ham he could manage, swallowing it down and clearing his throat before answering. He still didn’t have an answer.

“We haven’t discussed it.”

There, that was the truth.

“Oh,” Loki cooed. “But haven’t we?”

Thor hated him.

“Remind me,” he said dryly.

Loki beamed. “You remember!”

Thor would strangle him later. Then he’d blame Loki’s untimely death on the stuffing. He would risk his parents never making it again if it meant he never had to live through the embarrassment of this conversation.

“I think we did mention something about next month.” A trip or something. Just say a trip.

“Ah yes, Christmas!”

As soon as the word left Loki’s mouth, his eyes shimmied to Thor in that way he knew meant Loki was about to flounder. He’d just dug his own grave. Deeper, actually.

“Going on holiday?” his father asked genially.

“Well, things have just been going _so well_ today,” Thor said. “I suggested we take you guys to the mountains for a proper winter holiday. A week long holiday.”

“Yes!” Loki agreed too quickly. His eyes said _save me_ and _I fucking hate that idea_ at the same time. Thor could relate.

The conversation had died at the other end of the table. Sif was watching them like a hawk.

“And Loki, being the kind, loving boyfriend that I know him to be.” Sif was staring daggers at him, he could feel it. He would have to explain that one later. “Offered to pay for everything.”

“I did?”

“He did!” Frigga half-shouted. She reached across to take Loki’s hands in hers, kissing them in her glee. “We were just talking about how much we miss the snow! We’ve not gone traveling in ages.”

“I did,” Loki breathed out, weak. “It’ll be fun.”

Odin nodded, pleased. “Knew you were a good kid.”

Thor was still confused by his father. He only ever knew the Odin who drank. The Odin he’d had relatively few problems with until he brought up a guy he’d been seeing. Then the fight happened. And now they were here, a year later with Odin seeming totally changed.

He couldn’t believe it.

Couldn’t trust it.

Couldn’t really fathom how Odin _liked_ Loki. Like he really, genuinely enjoyed Loki’s company, what little he’d had of it so far.

He didn’t want another fight.

And now it had the potential to be worse than the last time. Loki was here. If there was a fight, if Odin got pissed at Loki—

Thor felt an almost fierce anger bloom to life inside him and he tamped it down, quick. Hated it, was scared by it. By how quick it had come.

He touched Loki’s thigh beneath the table and though Loki gave nothing away while he continued talking with his parents about where they’d like to go, he could feel the jump in his leg. Then he relaxed into it, didn’t move away. Thor rubbed his thumb back and forth.

He just needed to feel Loki there, beside him. Safe and okay.

Thor would make sure Odin never treated Loki like he treated his children.

\--

He figured things were stable enough to leave Loki alone with his parents while he did the dishes. He cleaned the table and washed up while everyone wandered into the living room or the deck to enjoy the cool early evening air.

“Hey,” came his brother’s voice. Balder sidled up beside him.

Thor scrubbed while he waited for Balder to say whatever it was he thought he needed to.

“Nanna and I haven’t been together for eight months.”

Thor sighed down at the suds. “What happened?”

“The same thing that usually happens to high school sweethearts. Got sick of each other. Got pregnant too young. I wanted a third kid. She didn’t.”

“Too much too fast.”

“For her, yeah.”

“How are the kids?”

“They’re good. ‘Seti’s toddling.”

Thor smiled. “He always was a fast learner.”

“He gets it from his mom.”

Balder wiped at his eyes.

“You’re really moving to Missouri? That’s not too backwater for you?”

“We come from backwater, Thor. And yeah. It’s nice. Quiet. I’ll only be there for a few years I think.”

“A trial run?”

“Exactly.”

“You can’t run away and be a hermit, kid.”

Balder shrugged, looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

“Maybe just for a little bit. I’ll still fly out all the time. And you know Nanna’s family is right around the corner in Oklahoma.”

Thor started loading dishes in the dishwasher, methodical about it.

“I don’t care what you two do. If you work it out or not. But do me a favor, Balder.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t fuck up your kids’ lives. Be there for them.”

Balder pinched the bridge of his nose. “Don’t have to tell me twice.” He cast a sidelong glance at their father, hand rubbing circles on Frigga’s upper back. She leaned her head on his shoulder while they listened to whatever grand schemes Loki was concocting without Thor there to reign him in.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his parents look so…

“They’ve been better, since he quit,” Balder said, sounding thoughtful. “I like your boss, by the way.”

“You mean my boyfriend?” Thor corrected him, closing up the dishwasher and rinsing his hands a final time. When he toweled his hands off, he saw Balder looking at him in a funny way.

“If you say so.” Thor held his breath, waiting for the hammer to fall. Instead, all Balder said was, “Also if you two are taking suggestions, I vote we go to Alaska for Christmas. Never been.”

Thor could only nod as Balder pushed off from the counter, going to join their parents.

\--

Thor was in the shower when he heard a knock. Or he thought he heard one. He finished up and when he stepped out, Loki was there sitting on the queen-sized bed, headphones in.

Thor cupped himself with a hand right as Loki glanced up.

His eyes bugged and then he was smirking.

“Come on, lover, let me see the goods. Don't look so naked and afraid, Thor.”

“Piss off,” Thor laughed, shuffling back behind the bathroom wall to grab a towel. He covered himself—despite Loki’s imploring eyes trying to sneak a look—and went to sit on the sofa chair, sinking into the cushions.

Loki pulled his earphones out and sat his phone to the side, lying back with his hands clasped over his stomach.

“I think I’ll wake up and have gained thirty pounds.”

“How will you manage to fit in your fourteen suits?”

Loki scoffed. “I’ll just rip them apart and sew them into one big suit. Specifically designed to accentuate my gut.”

“Farbauti will think she’s got that grandkid after all.”

Loki rolled until he was facedown, laughing.

“She fucking _would_.” Loki settled down and pushed to his elbows, then straightened out to standing. “I’m taking a shower.” Then he was off, Burberry suit and all.

Thor finger-combed his hair into a loose tail and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. He settled back on the bed, his ankles hanging over the edge. He wondered how they’d fit on the bed comfortably while maintaining a decent distance apart. Then he realized that was silly, and of course Loki would probably threaten him needlessly into getting the bed, while Thor camped on the floor.

He was so preoccupied thinking of how they would make it work, he didn’t immediately register when Loki came out of the shower with a sigh, in a pair of flannel bottoms, q-tip stuffed squarely in his ear. He sighed, smoothed a hand over his bare chest, down his stomach—over the dark trail of hair leading down—

And flopped down beside Thor, their bare shoulders touching.

“Where’s your suit?” he thought to ask when nothing else came to mind.

“Hanging up.”

“Huh,” Thor managed. “Should we—”

“Were you just waiting up for me to come to bed?”

“What?”

“You weren’t reading or on your phone. You were just staring at the wall, looking dumb.”

He rolled his eyes. “I was not.”

“Okay.”

“Alaska.”

Loki shifted until he was on his side, propped on his elbow and giving Thor a _look_.

“What about Alaska?”

“Balder suggested we go there for our holiday.”

“Yes, the holiday. Your parents are very excited. Sif valiantly refuses to stay in anything less than the best hotel.”

He smiled. “That’s Sif.”

Loki hummed. “Your parents don’t mind you dated her for a while?”

“They don’t know. It was a weird thing, we tried it out for a while. Didn’t take.” He raised a brow. “Why? Are you jealous?”

Loki narrowed his eyes. “No.”

“I think you are.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“You are!”

“I’m not!”

“God, you’re easy to get a rise out of.” Thor laughed and threw a hand out to jostle Loki. A joke. A tease. Wasn’t thinking.

Loki brushed Thor’s hand from his arm. Thor tucked it against his chest as he turned so they could speak better. That was the only reason.

“What would we do in Alaska?”

“Snowboard? Fish? Go boating?”

“Boating is boring. Try again.”

“I’ve never been boating.”

Loki shook his head. “Try again.”

Thor pretended to contemplate. “We could Google search results for romantic getaway Alaskan weekend?”

“Ah, we have a winner. Clearly.”

“Thought you’d like that.”

“Are they suspicious?”

It came out of nowhere, how Loki suddenly sounded nervous. Why was he worried?

“No.” Thor didn’t think it was important to mention Balder.

He wanted to ask about the kiss. Wanted to know if Loki was still thinking about it like he was.

The silence dragged and something shifted between them. Some kind of tension filling the air around them. Thor didn’t dislike it. But he didn’t like it either. It warned of things to come, a promise he couldn’t tell was good or bad yet.

But Loki broke it, snapped it like a twig.

He flipped quickly to his other side, pulling the blankets high over his shoulder.

“Good night,” Loki said, too loud in the quiet and Thor shrank back at his tone.

He slipped his legs under the covers but didn’t move. Couldn’t move.

He listened for an hour to Loki breathing beside him. At some point it changed to the deep lengthy sighs of sleep. Loki didn’t snore. He hardly moved.

Thor dared to rest his hand palm down an inch from Loki’s blanket covered back. A water drop fell from his dark hair to splash cold on his finger. It felt better just being nearer to him, and he had no idea how that had happened. What had changed from this morning to right now?

And then Thor fell asleep too.


	4. The Important Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of part one.
> 
> Part two beginning soon!
> 
> I'll be posting the first chapter of the 100 Lifetimes challenge later today! Subscribe to my AO3 (not just this story) if you want to see 100 days of Thorki fic!

Thor woke up to a jerk, a far away pain already halfway gone when he’s finally up. There was black hair to greet him, tickling his nose. An ear just ahead. The pale curve of a cheek and Thor realized, maybe a touch too late that he had his arm looped easily around Loki’s waist.

He froze. If he moved now, he’d likely wake Loki. If he didn’t move, he could pretend to be asleep until Loki woke up and blame the whole awkward encounter on him. But some quick to react sense of guilt ate him up at that and so he sighed, breath fanning Loki’s ink-dark curls. He smelled like soap and the unhurried sweat of a too-hot night. And it was still humid. Thor’s pants were sticking uncomfortably to the backs of his thighs.

Loki’s ass was pressed right against him, and though it wasn’t unpleasant, the fact that it was _them_ , was very much so. Highly unpleasant, in fact. Downright disastrous.

Especially as Loki did the quick dip-drop of a wakeful sigh, breath shuffling cold against Thor’s arm as he went still. He knew. There was no chance for saving face now.

“Don’t move,” came Loki’s tempered voice. A command, groggy from sleep.

Thor watched as Loki raised a hand to rub the sleep from his eyes.

He snapped his arm up, pushing Thor’s off him—and Thor went along with it easily. He started to roll away, thankful beyond words that he hadn’t woken in a _worse_ state.

But Loki turned until they were facing each other, arms drawn up to his chest.

Thor braced himself.

“You were cuddling me.” Loki’s tone and face gave nothing away. Thor had no idea where it would lead.

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Yes, you were.”

Thor rubbed at his face. “I didn’t consciously do it.”

Loki’s fingers alighted on his wrist, drawing his hands back. Loki blinked and leaned up on his elbows, suddenly at a vantage point Thor wasn’t entirely comfortable with.

“I’m touched,” he said, the corners of his mouth gone wobbly. Thor waved a hand at him, a dismissal, a gentle slapping that caught Loki’s shoulder. Loki grinned.

Thor groaned. “Let’s just get up and on with the day. We can say goodbye and get out of here.”

“What did Odin say to you?”

Thor blinked up at the ceiling. It was peeling in patches. He’d have to tell Frigga.

“When he took me outside?”

“Yeah.”

“He tried to guilt me about Balder. Then started preaching about how he’s changed.” At Loki’s steady stare, he continued. “Well, maybe not preached. But I don’t believe him. That’s not my life anymore. This isn’t my life anymore,” he repeated more quietly.

“Now it’s the firm, Sif, and me,” Loki said. It wasn’t a question.

Thor looked at the pinch of skin at Loki’s chin as he lowered his head to flick his hair back over his shoulder. A red mark from the pillows was imprinted on his neck, one half of his jaw. Thor wanted to rub it away, smooth the flesh back pale again. Wanted to count his freckles.

He thought it was a ridiculous inclination.

“I didn’t know you had freckles,” he said instead like the idiot he was.

Loki’s eyes lowered to his mouth. He knew it was his mouth. Had to be.

“I didn’t know you had a quadruple chin,” Loki told him.

“Wow.”

“What? They’re charming.” Loki lifted a finger to poke him in the throat, harder than either expected. Loki’s eyes went wide as Thor coughed. “Sorry.”

“You’re not,” he said, rubbing his skin and eyeing him.

Loki’s hand lingered in the air, tense between them. He made a fist and let it rest slow on Thor’s ribs. His green eyes followed the touch, almost stuck to it.

“Why did you kiss me?” Thor asked him.

Loki shrugged. “Why did you kiss me back?”

He watched Loki for a long while, assessing the situation. Wondering what would happen if he told the truth. That he didn’t even know what the truth was. What would happen if he lied, which he was never fond of doing in the first place.

“You won’t fire me if I tell you?”

Laughter bubbled out of him, tired and empty, odd things that sounded too loud in the small room with its empty cream walls.

“I don’t screw over people I’ve made deals with, it’s bad for business.”

“Yes, you do. I see you do it all the time.”

Loki met his eyes. “Not the important ones.”

“Important deals?” Thor breathed. “Or important people?”

Silence was his answer. Loki’s eyes darted down his face again, and Thor felt something dark turn inside him. Loki looked wild just then and Thor wanted very badly to tell him the truth.

So he did.

“It felt good to kiss you,” Thor murmured. Loki’s breath shuddered out. “I wanted to kiss you.”

Loki’s lips twitched, parting to let out a low sound, wondering. His eyes flickered between his mouth, the bed, and back to Thor’s eyes.

Then, “Do you want to kiss me again?”

Thor reached up, choosing instead to palm Loki’s neck. Green eyes shut, languid, a rough sound seemingly snatched free as Thor encouraged him forward.

He could feel Loki’s breath on his face, felt the grounding twist of Loki’s fingers against his chest as he fought to steady himself.

Then a knock sounded on their door and they sprang apart.

Balder swung the door open, looking harried—still in his sleep clothes, hair turned up, bags under his eyes. He eyed the two of them.

“Breakfast.”

Then he padded away. He didn’t bother to shut the door again and soon enough the sounds of life drifted into the hall from downstairs.

Thor felt Loki beginning to pull away, but he held fast.

“They expect us to be this way,” Thor told him. He felt like something important had flown past at an impossible speed. “Stay.”

“I—” Loki started.

“Stay, Loki.”

Loki pulled back again but Thor didn’t budge. A devilish look entered Loki’s eyes and he knew then, Loki was baiting him.

“And here I didn’t think you had the balls for—”

“Oh my _god_ ,” came Sif’s voice from the door.

Loki hummed, clearly displeased. His expression fell so quickly Thor witnessed every minute change as it happened. Fear, confusion, glee when he realized he could turn the situation around on their intruder again. He pulled away to turn to her where she stood with a hand over her eyes.

“Say it isn’t so,” she moaned. “I really thought this was a hoax.”

“Oh, we’re just having a bit of fun.” He patted Thor’s chest. “Aren’t we, _love_?”

Loki laughed.

Like it was a joke.

It _was_ a joke.

Thor had to remember that.

A game.

A lie.

Yeah.

Thor felt sick. Something hot painting his throat as he swallowed, again and again, trying for words. _A bit of fun, a bit of fun, a bit of—_

“Yeah,” Thor said. “Just a game.”

From the corner of his eye, Loki’s wicked grin faltered quickly, gone and back again in an instant.

Sif groaned and headed off, eyes still firmly covered.

Then—

“You’re right,” Loki said as he headed for the bathroom. “Let’s get out of here. I miss the office.”

Thor finally pulled himself out of bed.

\--

“You’re in my shirt. And you own a pair of jeans?”

Loki sat down at a plate filled with bacon and eggs with a shrug.

Thor leaned over and smiled at him, lowering his voice so Frigga wouldn’t hear.

“You look good, boss.”

Loki’s mouth went tight and he nodded shortly.

Something had changed.

Thor had made a mistake. He shouldn’t have told Loki the truth.

He should have taken Loki’s lead more. Should have learned to lie better.

Frigga noticed something was off about them as they ate breakfast. Thor kept catching her wandering eyes. She would smile and blink back to her own toast, then a few seconds later be right back to eyeing them again. Especially Loki.

She gave Thor a silent, pleading look and he shrugged. He didn’t know. He’d probably never know.

Odin was on the couch watching football.

Balder and Sif were sipping coffee on the deck, letting the early morning sun wake their tired bones. Balder had managed to drag a brush through his hair at some point. He said something. Sif laughed.

“They’re getting on well,” Loki commented around a mouthful of bacon.

“They always have,” Thor said.

Sif laughed at something else. Balder nudged her with an elbow and she returned it.

He wondered.

“So, Alaska,” Loki announced, and Frigga lit up. “It was suggested we all head to Alaska.”

“That sounds lovely! I’ve only been there a few times.” She turned around in her chair and waved at Odin. “How does Alaska sound?”

“Sounds good,” he chimed, not looking away from the television.

“Oh! The snow! The mountains! Thor we could go skiing!”

“And snowboarding.”

“Hiking too. And there’s plenty of shopping.” Thor could swear her eyes were glowing she was so excited. “Oh and—”

And so it went on and on and on.

Thor noticed Loki kept a set distance between them. He hardly looked over. He barely acknowledged him.

Thor moved his thigh to try and press against Loki’s, but he snapped his leg away to cross it over his other knee. He set his chin on clasped hands and seamlessly indulged every single one of Frigga’s Alaskan wiles. Yes of course he’ll pay for the trip. Yes of course he’ll ensure they experience the snow, the sea, and the city. Yes of course he’ll—

Thor sighed.

The back door opened and with it a blast of hot air. Balder came over and grasped Loki’s shoulder. Sif was behind him, mirth plain in her features.

“Get up, we’re going out.”

“Going out?” Thor asked.

Huh.

“Where to?” Loki asked, and ignored the way Thor watched him.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to bond with you, Loki. Let’s go hang out.” Balder smiled sadly at Thor but he knew that smile as one of his brother’s favorite _sorry not sorry_ looks. “You won’t mind I’m stealing your _better_ half from you for the morning?”

Thor nodded slow. It took him a moment to realize he shouldn’t argue. Maybe he should.

“No problem at all. Though we do have a flight at noon,” Loki told him, smiling cheerily.

“We’ll be back way before then, no worries.”

And with that Balder hauled him up and away.

Thor couldn’t say he wasn’t relieved.

\--

Odin came up behind Thor when he was cleaning up breakfast. He startled at the hand Odin placed between his shoulders.

“Take a drive with me, son. Before you leave.”

It wasn’t worth it, he thought.

But his mother was watching. He knew she wasn’t happy about the state of their relationship. He knew she’d probably never be.

“Just let me finish these.”

\--

Odin was in his Mustang already when Thor made his way to the door. He shut it maybe a little too hard, but couldn’t find it in himself to really care. Odin didn’t look bothered one way or another about it.

“Where are we going?”

“I thought by the water.”

They hadn’t been there in years.

“Alright.”

The drive was nearly silent, save for the radio. Oldies played low, blending riffs with the wind and the rustle of pollen-ripe trees. Thor sneezed once, and frowned when he couldn’t find a box of tissue.

The waterfront was the same as it had been when he was a kid. He’d spent every summer here until he went to college. When his parents had finally bought the property to retire to properly, he remembered feeling happy about it. Now it just left him feeling strange and sad. Nostalgic for something that he’d come to realize was never really his.

“You still listen to headbanger music.”

Odin huffed. “I suppose so.”

Thor blinked out into the water as they parked. Odin smoothed his hands over the steering wheel, then running one over the dashboard.

“I’ve had this car since you were eight,” he said. “Always took good care of it. Always kept it shining. Always made sure the engine was in order.”

“You spent more time on this car than me. Or Balder.” Then, “Frigga too, right?”

“Your mother and I almost divorced when you were nine.”

Thor didn’t know that.

“What?”

“It was my drinking.”

“It’s always your drinking.”

“She was pregnant.”

Oh.

“I stopped for a few years. But it always started up again. It’s hard to quit something you love. I love your mother, more than anything. More than you kids.” Thor shook his head, already knowing that. “That’s what I told myself.”

“Hm, I’d still wager that part’s true.”

Odin blinked. “No. It was for a long time. I was a foolish man. I’ve been a foolish man. The last year has been hard.”

“Harder for you than me.”

Odin stared into his lap. “Your mother and I separated not long after you left. I’ve been going to meetings, I’ve been doing my part in finally getting my shit together.”

Thor wanted to leave. Wanted to open Odin’s door and push him out and drive off with his car. Loki had mused he was too old to steal his Dad’s car. Maybe he could prove him wrong.

“I realized the second you were out of my sight, you are the single most important part of my life as a father. As a man. You and Balder are my reason for living, son. I’m sorry.”

No one should be your reason for living, he thought.

I shouldn’t matter more than my brother, he thought.

Mom should have left you before Balder was born, he thought, at least then he would have been spared all this.

I don’t have to do this, he told himself.

Thor opened his door and got out.

And he walked away.

Odin did not follow.

\--

Thor walked for a long while before finally finding a spot tucked behind some trees. He was hidden from the path and close enough to the water he could still tell where Odin’s car was on the other side of the marsh.

He had a good cry and then wiped his eyes, his nose on his shirt.

He brought out his phone and called Loki. Got his voicemail.

“Hey. I’m sorry about this morning. And yesterday. It was a mistake, all of it. I wasn’t thinking. I got caught up in our lie. We can go back to before. Back to the city and our work, and pretend however long you need to get the firm in your name. I won’t abandon you with that. I don’t care anymore if I get my office or not. No, wait, I’m fucking lying. I want that office, Loki. Don’t you dare screw me over for a couple of make outs. I just don’t want you ignoring me, or whatever it was you were starting to do. I just thought there was—Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.”

He hung up before the beep sounded. Then he called back, wanting to tell him sorry in advance for whatever Balder and Sif were putting him through.

But Loki picked up.

“Must be an emergency if you’re calling me twice in a row,” he said, sounding breathless. “Don’t tell me you ate all the leftover stuffing. I will not let you back on the plane with me.”

Thor couldn’t help laughing, and he worried how watery it sounded. He sniffed and Loki hummed. His heartrate picked up. “Oh uh. Ignore that voicemail then. Just delete it. And no I didn’t eat the stuffing.”

“No chance. And good.” Loki spoke away from the phone, something loud that Thor couldn’t make out. He heard revving engines in the background. Then, “So, listen.”

“Where are you?”

“Mudding?”

“God. Is Balder trying to drown you?”

“No, but I think Sif has tried twice already. I’ll have to get back to you on that.” There was a splash and swearing. “You’re not going to be happy with the state of your shirt.”

He felt himself smiling down at the grass beneath his boots. “You’re covered, aren’t you?”

“This is a barbaric event and I love it.”

“Good thing you didn’t wear your suit,” Thor said.

“I felt like carrying a piece of you with me today is all.”

He swallowed, listened to Loki’s quick stuttering as he thought of how to cover that particular tidbit of information up.

“Loki,” Thor said, soothing. “It’s okay.”

Loki hummed again. Thor enjoyed the sound. Every time he enjoyed it. He was wrecked.

“Listen, Thor.” He cleared his throat. “There’s something you need to know. Before Balder and Sif spring it on you.”

“What is it?”

“Just,” Loki said. “You know how when I bring you to court and I request you be agreeable with me and only me? No matter what?”

“It’s how we win cases.”

“Yes, exactly. You remember.” He said it like Thor hadn’t been discussing court strategies with him just a week before, for the Stark v. Hammer case. “I need you to do exactly that when we get back.”

Thor scratched at his beard.

“Alright. In return, you have to delete that voicemail.”

Loki hummed again and Thor could hear the wicked smile in his voice. “Of course, _lover_.”

The line beeped and went dead. Thor shook his head and rose to find the nearest bus.

\--

He got back to the house at the same time Loki did. Odin wasn’t back yet.

And Thor knew the second Loki climbed out of Balder’s mud-caked SUV and locked eyes with him that he’d listened to the voicemail.

Thor couldn’t read Loki’s expression from so far away.

Thor had his key half in the lock, stock still as he watched the three of them, all equally covered in mud and dirt, come to the walkway. Sif had her lip bitten while Balder shoved at Loki, pushing him forward towards Thor.

“Congratulations you two,” Sif said, and laughed.

“Huh?”

Odin’s Mustang announced its arrival before they saw it, pulling finally into the same weathered spot in the driveway. He climbed out and eyed the bubbling energy unfolding in front of the door.

Thor wiggled his key free and Loki took his arm. Frigga’s face popped through the window, looking perplexed before opening the door to let them all in.

“Thor—” Loki said, and to Thor’s complete and absolute _horror_ , started descending on one knee.

He snatched Loki’s arm and braced him. Kept him from sinking all the way down. They stayed there, Loki effectively holding a lunge as he made a face up at Thor that he knew very well.

“You got my message,” Thor didn’t ask.

“I did.”

“So you know this isn’t necessary.” Thor insisted, trying to tug Loki back up with no success. “At all.”

“And you remember what I told you, yes?” Loki said through a tight smile. “You should, since you remember all the trials I’ve brought you in on.”

Thor dug his fingers into Loki’s arms and tried with everything he had to say _This is a mistake_ and Loki’s narrowed eyes warned back at him _Don’t tempt me._

So Thor knelt instead.

Thor grinned, brighter than Loki could ever hope to match. Loki’s own smile faltered and fell away into pure shock.

Loki mouthed the words, _you motherfuc—_

“Loki,” Thor began. “I know we were planning on doing this during the trip to Alaska. But.” He shifted his hold to Loki’s hands. Loki was forced to fully fall to a knee, a reflection of each other.

“Oh wow,” Frigga whispered, enraptured.

“Since I won’t have you beating me at my own game—”

“Not for long, Thor,” Loki warned pleasantly.

“Will you marry me?”

Loki’s left eye twitched, his pupils going wide despite the annoyance, the hatred Thor knew he had to be holding back. He didn’t know what it meant.

Loki squeezed his hands.

“I could scream,” was all Loki said, as Frigga, Sif and Balder did just that, celebrating with each other as they swarmed the two of them. Odin remained off to the side.

Thor pulled him forward and Loki went willingly, falling into his arms.

“My sentiments exactly,” Thor whispered as Loki kissed and kissed and kissed him.

Thor felt Loki pinch his arm for his trouble.

And then Loki clung to him, almost too tight.

Thor could have sworn he heard a _thank you_ beside his ear when Loki pulled away to hug him.

It’s just a game, he reminded himself.

Loki squeezed tighter. Thor could feel his heart racing where their chests lined up.

Or was it a game at all?


	5. Uber

The plane ride back to the city was long and silent. An undeniable charge hung in the air between the two of them the entire way back and Thor wasn’t surprised when he ended up buried under Loki’s luggage when they landed. Loki stepped quickly, refusing Thor any time to really ask him any questions.

Mostly he just wanted to know what Loki thought of the voicemail. And if Thor still had his job.

Loki stuck his earphones in again once they were out in front of the airport.

“Loki?”

Nothing.

“Loki?” Thor repeated, a little louder.

Loki blinked and turned slightly away from him and Thor knew he’d heard him.

“You don’t even have your music on, do you?”

Loki’s lips twitched, a rare dimple showing and Thor groaned.

“We’ll need to talk about it eventually.”

Loki nodded. “I agree. Which is why we’re going to my place right now. We’re having an early dinner where we can talk and plan out what will happen from this point on. Then we’ll put this horror of a holiday behind us so we can have at least one day of this weekend to ourselves before work on Monday.”

“I’m not fired?”

Loki did look at Thor then, nearly rueful. “Don’t be stupid, Thor. It’s unattractive.”

Thor nodded, the luggage he was half buried under feeling lighter than before. Soon enough Loki waved down their taxi and they climbed in.

\--

Loki lived…in an unexpected part of town.

And he’d begun to fidget. His fingers tripped over themselves as he jammed his key into the lock, hardly held on by three bolts—one missing—from the looks of it. Loki angled his body in front of the door and didn’t so much as shove it open as ram into it to gain some ground. Once it was past the threshold it was smooth sailing into a too-narrow hall with a green runner on top of the linoleum.

No carpet; just cement, linoleum, and in the case of the kitchen some half-finished tile with dark edges that must have called for band aids more than once. And besides the runner in the entry, there was no carpet Thor could see. That meant cold floors in the summer and freezing floors during every other season. Thor frowned at the idea.

“I can fix your door.”

“Huh?” Loki blinked back at him. He shrugged off his suit jacket and folded it neatly over a chair before fiddling with his phone. He pursed his lips when he found what he wanted and then he was calling for Chinese takeout.

“I have some extra bolts,” Thor explained when Loki was finished placing an order for what seemed like far too much food for just two people. “I can fix your doorknob. You shouldn’t be sleeping with it falling off like that.”

Loki shrugged. “If you’d like.”

“And what’s with your kitchen? Are you renovating?” he asked, concerned in spite of himself. He shouldn’t _be_ worrying about Loki. Loki wasn’t his to worry about. And he still wasn’t sure where they stood after this morning.

“I rent, so not me,” Loki dismissed. “It was like that when I moved in.”

Thor dropped their luggage in the hall to a chorus of frustrated groans from Loki as he set to righting his things. Thor went to the worst of the tile and crouched, running his fingers over the exposed edges.

“How long ago was that?”

Loki hummed. “Nine years?”

Thor stood so fast he almost hit his head on the counter. “Are you joking, Loki?”

“Do I look like I joke?” At Thor’s unwavering stare, he sighed. “I know I live in a shithole. It’s not a big deal. Come on, get out of there. I didn’t bring you here to pick my life apart.”

Thor ignored him. He opened every cupboard and drawer. Found missing nails, loose baseboards, and shaky wheels. When he got to the tap, the wobbly faucet squeaked, and the water only came after a banging shudder rocketed through the wall.

“Loki,” Thor called, unable to keep the warning tone from his voice.

Loki’s huff reached him from the living room. “Stop.”

“Unbelievable,” Thor muttered to himself. He got low on his knees and aimed his phone’s flashlight at the piping under the sink and couldn’t hold back his gasp when he saw the large seeping spot of black in the corner.

Green eyes trailed him as he made his way down the only turn in the flat. A short hall with two doors. He checked the bathroom over next and found many of the same issues, but thankfully no mold.

Thor stopped in front of Loki’s bedroom. There was a bed and a bookshelf packed to spilling over but other than that not much. Too clean. Too minimal. No pictures. There was a plant on the nightstand, well cared for and the most colorful thing in the flat.

Loki snapped his fingers when he came back out.

“You’re going to stop whatever mission you’re on and sit down,” Loki commanded, to Thor’s amusement. “Food’ll be here soon, and we can get this over with.”

Thor went reluctantly. He sunk low in the couch beside his boss, who sat with his knees bent, his phone in their crux. Thor met his stare and shrugged, tried not to stare at the way Loki had kicked off his shoes and had his bare heels dug into the couch cushion.

“You’ve got mold, Loki.”

“Maybe you can scrub that away after you screw my knob,” Loki suggested with a quirk of his brow before going back to his phone. A flush rose to his cheeks but he didn’t look back up. “You know what I mean.”

Thor sighed and closed his eyes on a smile.

\--

When their food arrived, Loki nudged Thor with his foot to go get the door. He jerked, having dozed in the twenty minutes of quiet between sitting down and now, and grabbed Loki’s ankle on impulse. He squeezed, tried to calm his racing heart, and rose to go to the door.

Loki watched him go.

Thor accepted what looked like eight bags of food. When he tried to tip the guy, he refused, saying what was paid was more than enough. Thor raised a brow and went to deposit Loki’s apparent feast on the living room table. Loki sat up to help, to Thor’s surprise, grabbing plastic forks and organizing the containers in a pattern.

He ripped open his fortune cookie and read, “What was once in the sun and seems submerged in black, will again return to the light.”

“That’s ominous,” Thor commented.

Loki shrugged. He picked a container and started in, keeping his eyes on his food. “The place I order from prints their own. Always good for a laugh.”

“I guess.” Thor chose what looked like pepper chicken.

They ate in silence. Thor wasn’t sure how best to broach the topic of their last day and a half together, the fact they were now in Loki’s apartment eating, or the future engagement they’d have to lie about. It seemed easier to fake dating, but now that Sif knew, it would get around work. It would get back to Farbauti. It would hang over them, haunting their every step.

“Lighten up, Thor.” Loki was watching him. “You get too serious for your own good.”

“Do I? I like to think I liven up the office following around after you and cleaning up your—”

Loki narrowed his eyes. “My what?”

“Your,” Thor started. “Your mess.”

“My mess, while it may be your concern, is something the others expect. It’s what I do. It’s how I run things.”

“By screaming at them? Or locking people out of their own offices?”

“If security is on their way to escort them out, then yes,” Loki said, like it was the simplest thing, needing no explanation.

“They’re afraid of you.”

Loki’s mouth opened and shut at that. His lips twisted, forming funny shapes before he settled on resuming his eating.

“Isn’t everyone afraid of their bosses?” Loki finally asked him, when a sharp sound burst the air.

A choir of dogs ascended, barking and howling. The air seemed heavy. Thor’s heart was pounding.

“Was that a gunshot?”

“Neighbor’s are at it again,” Loki said, rolling his eyes. He kept eating. “Don’t bother yourself, they’re fine.”

When he just sat there, fork dangling limp from his hand, Loki took his chicken and replaced it with noodles.

“Eat,” he ordered.

Thor did.

“You’re wondering why I live here? With my salary?” Loki asked him, unable to keep the silence for more than a few minutes. Thor was glad for it.

“You and your fourteen suits, and your house plant?” Loki huffed. Thor went on, “I always pictured your place having glass walls, priceless paintings. Maybe a jet-black marble kitchen. You know, the works.”

Loki hummed. “Laufey’s will. I have five years after his death to be in a serious relationship with the express goal of providing offspring to inherit his legal kingdom. He just wants his money to stay in the family.”

“But you don’t have access to it?”

Loki’s lips thinned on his smile. “Precisely. All my income, save for rent and essentials are held in a trust of sorts until I fulfill my end of his deal. And no, I had no hand in writing it. Didn’t even know it was a thing until he died and my dear old mother sent me a copy of the will over email.”

“Wow.”

“Very wow.”

\--

Loki stuck over half of the food he’d ordered back in his fridge, which, Thor saw, was almost entirely comprised of takeout.

He thought about how much Loki was at the office. Before and after everyone else. Always there. Never home. Always working for no payoff. There had to be a reason.

“Is work your safe space?”

Loki didn’t falter at the question. He threw away the forks and napkins and turned around to regard Thor with crossed arms.

“I prefer to be doing something with my free time is all. Nothing for me to do here.”

“You don’t have anything to do here? What about friends?”

Loki laughed shortly. “Bold of you to assume I have any.” Then, “Come on, I’ll show you the linen closet, you can grab as many blankets as you like.”

Loki strode past him but Thor grabbed his arm. He looked at where Thor held him like he was confused. Or deciding whether or not to cut his fingers off and keep on his way. He finally met Thor’s eyes.

“You want me to stay?”

Something dark entered Loki’s gaze and it burned Thor.

“I assumed, as it was getting late.”

“It’s barely six.”

Loki stared, unblinking. Thor squeezed his arm and Loki let a deep breath shuffle out through his nose.

“What’re you doing, Thor?”

“What do you mean?”

Loki took a step closer to him and Thor could feel his body heat. He wanted to grab Loki and press him against the counter, feel what he felt like, everywhere.

It was the first honest admission he’d let himself have. And it felt right. But it was frightening too.

“You want me to stay, Loki?” he asked, and held his breath.

Loki held his gaze for a beat longer before raising a hand to splay across his chest. His eyes lowered to track the movement, stare at where they connected. His palm dragged over one nipple before falling away completely.

“Let me grab you some blankets, Thor.”

Then he was walking away.

“I can stay, if you want.”

Loki stopped.

“You asked me that earlier. To stay.” Loki turned to watch him. “Did you mean that?”

Thor didn’t know what to say.

“Yes,” he said.

Loki nodded. Then he did it again.

“We need to keep up appearances, that’s all,” Loki finally said. His voice lacked any emotion, and Thor couldn’t pinpoint what the expression he wore really meant. It was blank, and seemed to stare right through him, unseeing. “That’s all.”

Thor’s heart sank when Loki pulled out his phone.

“I’ll get you an Uber.”

Before Thor realized what he was doing, he was in front of Loki, hands on his shoulders. Loki didn’t meet his eyes. Thor ran a hand over his clavicle, up his neck, running it over his hair—and Loki shut his eyes and let out a sigh. It sounded like relief.

Thor backed him up against the wall, heart leaping as Loki’s hands found his sides. He felt around and clasped them at Thor’s lower back, holding him gently. And Thor felt shaky, untethered. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Loki’s, who sighed at the touch.

It was chaste and soft and sent a deep warmth through his bones. Then it was Loki who opened his mouth to suck Thor’s lower lip between his teeth to lightly bite and Thor was lost. Lost to Loki and his gentle biting and sucking and the way his tongue leapt forward without being gross. Thor held his face between his hands, holding him close and tight, feeling like Loki was his. Like he could do this forever. Like they could go to work, and pretend, and everything would be perfect for once.

Maybe they wouldn’t have to pretend anymore.

He felt such a heady spike of hope at the idea—could see it so clearly.

Loki didn’t push him away, but he moved his face to the side, away from Thor’s searching mouth. Thor blinked and waited, wondering.

Loki’s hands dropped from his waist.

He leaned his head against the wall, smiling softly. He closed his eyes. Thor thought he looked at peace.

“Thor,” Loki said.

“Yes?”

Loki opened his eyes and cold settled at the base of Thor’s spine. The blank look from before was back.

“You’re fired.”


	6. Not Enough

“No I’m not.”  
  
Loki’s eye twitched. “Yes,” Loki insisted. “You are.”  
  
Thor felt calm settle over him. Oddly, he didn’t feel either ill or nervous or panicked or fearful or betrayed, he just felt calm. If Loki had told him he was fired twelve hours earlier, it would be different he knew. But things had changed. Twenty-four hours and everything had changed.  
  
In the last twenty four hours, he’d learned more about his boss than he had in the last year. Not everything they’d done made sense, but Thor was starting to piece things together.  
  
Because Loki’s lower lip wavered as the words left his mouth and Thor recognized it for what it was. His tell. Sometime in the last day Thor had started to see Loki shift from the flawless liar he’d known to someone who more often than not was flying by the seat of his pants. He winged it, a lot. And he was really fucking good at it.  
  
Thor smiled and brought his hands back up to cup Loki’s jaw. Loki narrowed his eyes, fingers digging hard into his sides but Thor didn’t care. He knew this wasn’t what was supposed to happen.  
  
Loki was still touching him.  
  
“You remember the first case you ever put me on as your assistant?”  
  
Loki’s stare went distant for a moment as he thought back.  
  
“Yes. Banner v New York. Big case, settled wacky. Details of the incident at the lab were all over the place. It was a nightmare.” Loki refocused. “What does that have to do with anything right now? I’m trying to fire you.”  
  
“The first night—you had me stay late because the case was already shaping up to be a mess—you didn’t know what to think of me. You didn’t know what to ask for. Told me to take notes and follow you, when I could have been pulling files or putting in requests for evidence from the precinct downtown. But you kept me with you. Had me follow you around like a puppy.”  
  
“A dog more like, as I’m remembering.”  
  
Thor smoothed his thumbs over Loki’s skin, marveling at the pleasure the simple touch brought him. Loki’s skin was so soft, despite his terrible attitude most of the time. He’d half thought his boss to be made of stone this whole time. They could have been doing this a long time ago.  
  
“You could have several assistants,” Thor went on. “But you only chose me. Chose to run me ragged, every day for the last year. Why?”  
  
“I enjoy seeing you jump,” Loki said. “Why else would I preoccupy myself with my assistant?”  
  
Loki squinted at him, and Thor laughed. Loki’s nails dug in harder in some sort of retaliation, but Thor just moved his hands into his curls, kneading his scalp until the scowl disappeared entirely.  
  
“Stop that,” Loki ordered weakly.  
  
“You’re being an asshole.”  
  
Loki frowned but said nothing.  
  
“I think you like me. Have liked me for a long time,” Thor told him. Loki didn’t deny it. “And though you’re an insufferable, terrorizing creature fueled by caffeine and days-old takeout, I think I’ve probably liked you for a long time too.”  
  
Loki’s painful digging softened at his words, his hands sliding away to rest at his hips, flat and gentle.  
  
“Probably?” he asked.  
  
Thor shrugged. “Sif might have been on to something when she pointed out how much I complain about you.”  
  
Loki shook his head, the movement rolling with Thor’s hands as he smoothed the black hair back over his shoulders to expose the length of his pale throat. Thor could see the beat of his pulse as he straightened under his hands, flaunting even now the pride he carried. At being caught in his lie, or caught by the truth, Thor wasn’t sure. He wondered if Loki would allow him to touch, and when he went to do exactly that, cupping Loki’s face as he sighed. His green eyes shut and Thor felt a light squeeze at his sides, a comfort.  
  
“You have terrible taste in men, Thor,” Loki breathed through parted lips and Thor wanted so badly to kiss him.  
  
Thor smiled even though Loki couldn’t see it. “I’ll blame it on the mold you’ve been inhaling for the past nine years.”  
  
That finally drew a light laugh from Loki. He blinked his eyes open and stared at the breadth of Thor’s smile.  
  
Loki leaned forward this time and Thor smiled into the kiss.  
  
“You know this changes things.”  
  
Thor shrugged. Loki’s hands slid down to hold his hips. “What exactly?”  
  
“You’re forgetting the voicemail you left me. I was surprised,” Loki said. The mood sobered. “A mistake, you said.”  
  
Thor pulled his ear lightly and sighed heavily. Loki hardly reacted. For once he seemed completely open, wanting a simple answer.  
  
“I also said to forget we ever kissed,” Thor reminded him. Loki winced. “I was wrong. Lying to myself. Odin had me upset—nevermind that. It was a stupid thing to say. But I told you I meant it when I asked you to stay.”  
  
“Stay for the holidays, yes. I get that.”  
  
Thor felt Loki’s hands drop. He started pulling away and Thor could feel himself losing a battle he didn’t know he’d been fighting. He didn’t realize how much he wanted to win in that moment.  
  
Maybe he’d read the situation wrong.  
  
“Loki, stop this—”  
  
“I don’t know what you want, Thor—”  
  
“I want to date you, Loki!”  
  
Loki went still in his arms. Thor grasped his neck, and Loki looked so wrecked for a moment. All he wanted to do was sweep Loki away and do…a lot. A lot of things. Things he wasn’t mentally ready to acknowledge. Even after everything. He just needed Loki to know. To understand what he was feeling—had been feeling since they’d dug this hole together.  
  
Thor took a steadying breath.  
  
“I want to date you,” he repeated.  
  
Loki eyed him. “No, you don’t.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
His expression darkened. “You don’t want me to answer that, Thor.”  
  
Thor shook him. “Why don’t you quit telling me what I don’t want, and answer me?”  
  
“You don’t know what you’re asking,” Loki said quietly, voice so low it was almost hard to hear him.  
  
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know the answer.” Thor swallowed hard, felt his eyes begin to prick with tears. He wasn’t usually an easy crier. But the holiday had him feeling unsteady. He felt on the edge of something great, something fantastic. Something terrifying and dangerous. “Please.”  
  
Loki’s eyes moved between his, a flicker. Then something like resolve settled in his expression.  
  
“You should leave, Thor.”  
  
“Loki—”  
  
Loki placed his hands on Thor’s chest and pushed gently. Thor let him go, but didn’t move far. Loki crossed his arms and wouldn’t look at him, just trained his stare at the floor.  
  
“You’re not fired. Don’t worry. We’ll carry on as we always have, hold hands for Farbauti, do the Alaska trip.” Loki’s throat worked and he nodded, agreeing with himself. “We’ll do Alaska and when we get back, I’m sure it’ll be more than enough for Farbauti to know our plans, as they are. I’ll be released from the boundaries of Laufey’s will, and you’ll get your corner office and fancy little name plaque. You’ll be placed on salary. You’ll have your own clients. Then you’ll be free to have almost nothing to do with me. Just like you wanted at the start of all this.”  
  
“Loki…”  
  
“You should go.”  
  
“What if I don’t?” Thor challenged and Loki smiled wryly. “What if I stay, and we talk about this like adults?”  
  
Loki sighed again. “If you stay, we won’t be talking. And this will be a lot harder to do in the morning. It’s easier if you leave now. Before I know what you feel…” he cut himself off. “Before this goes any further than I feel comfortable with.”  
  
Thor frowned, feeling his stomach do a flip in spite of the stakes of the conversation. “I’ve never known you to do things the easy way. Or make things comfortable.”  
  
That finally got Loki to meet his eyes again. He was angry.  
  
“Then you don’t really know me at all, do you?”  
  
“I’m trying to!” Thor said, voice raising despite himself. Loki’s brow lowered into a flat line. “That’s usually what dating entails!”  
  
“You really are pathetic when you beg, you know.”  
  
Thor felt his jaw twitch. “It’s not begging. It’s pointing out what we’re both clearly interested in doing.”  
  
Loki nodded. He eased off the wall where he’d been leaning and brushed past Thor. He headed for the door, and Thor followed him because he was helpless to do anything else. How did he get like this?  
  
Loki flipped his lock and swung the front door open.  
  
“I’ll see you on Monday, Thor.”  
  
Thor could leave. Or he could stay. Or try to, at least.  
  
Loki’s eyes were trained steady out the door on the opposite facing wall. There was a crack that ran down the drywall, with a gap large enough cause to worry about rodents getting through. His knuckles were white where he squeezed the doorknob. His other hand rested in a tight fist at his side. Thor saw his throat bob and wondered how much this was hurting Loki too.  
  
He wanted to stay. He did.  
  
But, if he fought to stay, he knew he’d lose his chance forever.  
  
This wasn’t over.  
  
When he stepped past the threshold, Loki’s voice stopped him.  
  
“You know, I’ve never had someone so invested in their own lie. It’s charming, really.” Thor turned and Loki was just staring through him. He looked gutted, defeated. “Usually it takes guys a few weeks at most for them to remember themselves. Remember who I am.”  
  
“What are you talking about, Loki?”  
  
“I didn’t want you to know about the will. But then you did. Couldn’t be helped, really. It’s my own fault, asking you along all the time. I thought you’d be different. Somehow.”  
  
“Loki,” Thor said. “What are you talking about? I’m not lying—”  
  
Loki hummed. “Ah, even now. Look at you. Believing the lie you crafted. You learned that from me too, I suppose. It’s always the will they want. The money, the luxuriant lifestyle, the alcohol, the parties, that vastly overrated deluxe life of a lawyer. The corner office and salary.” His lips thinned as he pulled and bit them. Then, “All a lie. Boring and shit work most of the time, right?”  
  
“I—”  
  
“It’s never just me,” Loki finally said. “My apartment isn’t enough. The money caught up in the will isn’t enough. The second my boyfr—the second the people I’m with find out the truth, it falls apart.” He ran a hand through his hair, sounding tired. “I’m not enough.”  
  
Thor stood, stunned. That wasn’t true at all.  
  
Loki shook himself and started to close the door.  
  
“See you tomorrow, Thor.”  
  
The door shut and Thor was alone.  
  
—  
  
“You look like shit,” Sif told him plainly the next morning.  
  
“You can’t even see me. We’re not face-timing right now.”  
  
Thor combed his fingers through his hair, scratching and rubbing at the base of his skull to dissuade an oncoming headache. He hadn’t slept more than a couple hours, constantly thinking about Loki. About how he fucked up. About how he suddenly cared enough about Loki of all people to care that he fucked up in the first place. That he cared enough about him that he’d made something to fuck up.  
  
He breathed and heard Sif laugh over the phone.  
  
“You sound like shit. That usually means you look in line with the statement.” She sounded like she was chewing. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Thor almost said Loki, but stopped himself. It wouldn’t do to have her believing there were problems.  
  
“Nothing,” he said. “I’ll see you later.”  
  
Sif mhmm’d at him and he hung up.  
  
Then he swallowed down the rest of his breakfast and got ready for work.  
  
—  
  
He grabbed two coffees, same as every morning. Headed to Loki’s office, same as always. Didn’t have to debate knocking because the door was open.  
  
Loki didn’t look at him when he set the coffees down. He was texting—or pretending to. His thumbs weren’t moving, and his eyes were still.  
  
“You—” Thor started, but Loki cut him off.  
  
“We have a meeting with Farbauti.”  
  
He stood and left his phone on his desk. Smoothed down his suit jacket and itched at his nose before striding past Thor without so much as glancing his way.  
  
Thor huffed and trailed after him.  
  
—  
  
In the elevator, Thor felt anxiety creep up inside him, making him sweat. Beside him, Loki was all poise as ever. He almost wanted to ask how if the Hammer case had any updates, but he just couldn’t find the words.  
  
Loki hit a button and the elevator slowed to a standstill. Thor wondered if he was about to be thrown down the shaft, then immediately wondered if Loki would be able to wrench the doors open to do it.  
  
Loki turned to him with such resolve in his eyes then, Thor decided Loki could.  
  
But all he did was reach into his pocket and withdraw his fist. He held it out, just staring at him.  
  
“What is that?”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. He jerked his fist forward.  
  
“Farbauti will want to see proof.”  
  
Thor nodded, feeling numb as he held out his hand palm up only to have a silver band dropped into it. He stared at it. Stared and stared and stared.  
  
“You’re supposed to put it on, idiot,” Loki said, voice low. He reached out snatched it, only to take Thor’s hand in his and wrangle it onto his ring finger. He spent a moment massaging the joints of his fingers before retreating from touching Thor altogether.  
  
“How did you know my ring size?”  
  
Loki shrugged. “I’m observant is all.”  
  
“Loki,” Thor murmured. Loki let out a breath and slowly met Thor’s eyes. He looked sad, worse than. “I wasn’t lying. You have to believe me.”  
  
His mouth twisted up. “Loyal to the last, even in deceit.”  
  
Thor was losing his patience.  
  
“I have your bolts.”  
  
“What?”  
  
Thor leaned a hip against the wall of the elevator.  
  
“For your door. I can come over after work and make it so you have a functioning doorknob again. Then I can get started on the mold.”  
  
Loki snorted. “What? You’re going to play handyman?”  
  
Thor smiled, though it felt edged by the frustration still sitting heady inside him. He just wanted Loki to believe him. “Exactly.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I’m going to prove to you I’m not going anywhere.”  
  
He held his ground as Loki’s eyes darted over his face, down his body and back again. He smacked the button and again they started ascending.  
  
“You’re unbelievable.”  
  
“Just stubborn.”  
  
Loki pursed his lips. “Let’s assume you mean what you say. You’re awfully sure after spending all of two days together. That’s hardly grounds for obsession.”  
  
“It’s not that,” Thor corrected him. The word felt dirty. Obsession suggested possession. He didn’t want to possess Loki.  
  
“What then?” Loki asked him. And Thor didn’t miss the hope hiding in Loki’s question. “What is this?”  
  
“I like you.” Thor shrugged. “Simple as that.”  
  
Something hard in Loki’s eyes softened at his words and Thor felt lighter than he had since leaving Loki’s flat the day before.  
  
Loki bit his lip. Thor’s gaze went to where his tongue darted out and Loki reached out to slap the button again. They lurched to a stop again and Loki darted forward.  
  
Loki slammed him against the wall, the bar digging painfully into Thor’s hip as he met Loki kiss for kiss. His hands went to Thor’s hair, pulling and twisting as Thor laughed, overjoyed.  
  
“Shut up,” Loki ground out. He licked into Thor’s mouth and Thor couldn’t help but buck his hips forward. Loki rolled his hips to meet him and—oh. Oh.  
  
“You believe me now?” Thor gasped out. He held Loki to him, nearly lost in the feeling of Loki against him, in his arms, his heart pounding out a beat a mile a second, pulse thundering against his temples.  
  
Loki huffed. Thor’s hands smoothed and rubbed over his shoulders and back until their frantic kissing turned gentle, something slow and close enough to sweet for Thor to be alright with easing Loki back from him.  
  
“Do you believe me, Loki?”  
  
He closed his eyes and sighed a shuddery breath. He touched a thumb to Thor’s lower lip, transfixed on the sight with a heavy-lidded gaze.  
  
“Maybe.” Thor leaned forward to press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. He wrapped Loki in his arms and hugged him. After a moment, Loki returned the embrace. And though it was so new, Thor felt his heart soar.  
  
“Ask me again tomorrow,” Loki told him.  
  
—  
  
If Farbauti noticed the way her son’s hair was more ruffled than usual, or the way his lips seemed redder than they normally were, she didn’t let on. She nodded to Thor when she saw him and he returned it, though it was far from what he’d call casual.  
  
Loki smiled his brightest smile.  
  
Farbauti’s eyes roamed over him, suspicious.  
  
It didn’t take long for her to spy the ring on Thor’s hand.  
  
“Where’s yours?” was all she asked after a long moment, looking at her son.  
  
Loki answered easily. “Still being fitted, I’m afraid.”  
  
She nodded absently. Her stare went back to the band on Thor’s finger.  
  
“I take it Thanksgiving went well, Thor?”  
  
“Better than I could have hoped, honestly.”  
  
She nodded again.  
  
“How was yours?” he asked her in return and it seemed to startle her back to the present. She focused on him, seeming surprised he asked her at all.  
  
“Oh. Mine was quite alright. Casework piled up, as usual. Stark’s being sued by Mandarin Inc., but who aren’t they suing these days?”  
  
“Hammer,” Loki answered.  
  
To Thor’s surprise, she laughed.  
  
Loki cleared his throat, bringing his mother’s attention back to him. “I just wanted to inform you I will be taking a week in December for the holiday then as well. We’ll be in Alaska.”  
  
“Oh,” she hummed. “Sounds like a big trip.”  
  
“We decided to treat the whole family,” Loki told her with a winning grin and Thor realized his misstep before he did.  
  
“Oh?” Farbauti intoned, sounding thoughtful. “Really.”  
  
Loki’s smile wavered.  
  
“It’ll be boring, probably,” Thor said, trying to remedy Loki’s mistake. “A lot of ice that time of year.”  
  
“A lot of ice? In Alaska?”  
  
He nodded slow, swallowing past his far too-dry throat.  
  
“Who would have thought?” Loki asked, offering a laugh.  
  
Farbauti wasn’t laughing. Thor felt like jumping out the window.  
  
“An engagement celebration, then?” she asked.  
  
“Yes,” they said at the same time.  
  
Thor glanced at Loki, seeing a blank expression. He knew, just as Thor did, what was coming.  
  
“We were wondering, too,” Thor continued, and heard Loki’s intake of breath beside him. “If you’d like to join us?”  
  
“It’ll be the whole family,” Loki said flatly.  
  
Farbauti’s smile grew into something sincere, her eyes lighting up more than Thor had ever seen.  
  
“It’ll be the whole family,” she repeated on a wide smile and Thor saw her teeth seemed sharper than Loki’s. “It sounds like an excellent time.”  
  
“Excellent,” Loki breathed, sliding Thor a murderous look. “Yes.”


	7. Harder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dramatically flashes back to every instance I've experienced of tile being put in.
> 
> This chapter is the Gremlins' collective faults.
> 
> Next chapter is Alaska, and then an ending chapter and then it's done! I'm going to curse myself by saying I aim to have the next two done in the next week.

Loki was silent as they made their way back down in the elevator.  
  
Thor wasn’t sure what he should do. He just knew Farbauti’s eyes lit up and she looked happy when she realized she’d been invited along. Maybe Loki wasn’t the only one feeling lonely in their small, emotionally constipated family. The moments ticked by so slowly, Thor begun to fidget wanting to bring it up.  
  
“Loki, I’m—”  
  
“If you’re about to apologize for going ahead and inviting my _mother_ , of all people, to Alaska with us, _and_ your family might I remind you, in some pathetic attempt to reinforce this little imaginary relationship we’re building—”  
  
“Loki—”  
  
Loki spoke over him. “Then don’t. It’s quite genius, actually.”  
  
“Listen, please…Wait, what?” Thor whipped around to meet Loki’s amused eyes. He couldn’t be serious. “You think it’s a good idea?”  
  
Loki shrugged, looking away from him. He blinked down at the floor. The stack of numbers on the door flickered, the counter slowly approaching their floor, tick after tick. It was coming up too fast and going by too slowly all at once. Thor was ready to crawl out of his skin, be done with this whole thing, get to the bottom of how Loki really felt. He couldn’t tell anymore what was real and what was fake between them.  
  
“Yes and no. I’m furious. But I can’t argue it’s not a good plan,” Loki said, sighing. “We’ll really have to sell it.”  
  
Thor bit the inside of his cheek, feeling odd about the tone of Loki’s voice, but calmed somewhat besides. “Nothing much to sell if it’s real.”  
  
Loki’s eyebrows slowly drew up. “Oh, are you really proposing to me, then? Right now? I can’t say the scenery has improved much. First the front stoop of your parent’s door, now an elevator?”  
  
Loki huffed and Thor realized he was laughing.  
  
“Classy.”  
  
Thor reached across to press _stop_ , and they drew to a swaying halt. Loki didn’t look at him, but his nostrils were wide, lips slightly parted. Thor could hear the quickness of his breathing. He was waiting. Waiting for Thor to do something. Maybe that’d been their problem all along. Loki had been the one to take the lead so far, and in the grand scheme of things maybe that looked as bad as Thor suddenly felt about it. He should have done more. Should have done a lot more.  
  
“Come here,” Thor told him, quiet. Loki’s breath hitched, escaped altogether when a hand found the back of his neck. Thor boxed him in, bodily pushing him against the wall in a loose but secure hold, not letting him think twice about it. Thor pressed their mouths together, not waiting for a _yes_ or a _no_ , just that it felt right when Loki’s wide eyes finally dragged back to his and he started breathing again when he was the one to pull back. He licked his lips, a small sound leaving him.  
  
“What,” Loki said, “Don’t tell me we’re ready to adopt, already? Those puppy-dog eyes staring back at me right now, god. Think you’re gonna get me to say yes to anything?” Thor hummed, some laughter managing to slip free from him. Loki’s hands found the nape of his hair, started running his fingers through. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you, Thor?”  
  
Thor smiled, wide and full and happy. It caught, infectious as Loki’s lips tilted up at the corners. “Maybe.”  
  
“Don’t repeat my own words back to me.”  
  
“Okay,” Thor said. “I do. I’ve got it real bad. For you, specifically. I want to touch you all the time now. I should have gotten my head out of my ass sooner, we could have started this a long time ago.”  
  
Loki’s eyes slid shut for a long moment, breath coming out in a shudder. Thor palmed his cheek and brought their foreheads together. He held Loki like that, swayed with him. It felt almost like dancing, with Loki’s fingers going tight in bursts in his hair. A small quiet comfort Thor never wanted to let go.  
  
“Then I think we’ll sell it just fine,” Loki told him.  
  
—  
  
“We should go out to dinner tonight,” Loki said when they were back safe in his office. Thor shut the door behind them.  
  
Thor waited for Loki to elaborate before launching into the hundred questions that came to mind at the idea. Loki simply went to sit at his desk and log into his computer. He commenced a flurry of rapid typing which told Thor the subject was just that, a statement and done.  
  
Not today, he told himself.  
  
“Will this be our first, _real_ , official date?” Thor asked him, all caution as he sat across from his boss—maybe-boyfriend—fake-husband-to-be for sure.  
  
Loki’s gaze flickered to him and back again. “You could say that.”  
  
“Then say it.”  
  
Loki huffed haughtily. “I’m asking you out on a real date, yes, Thor.”  
  
Thor couldn’t help but grin, shifting happily in the plush seat. A smile was tugging at Loki’s mouth, Thor could tell. It was a real travesty that Loki didn’t smile more.  
  
Thor inched forward. “And what sort of dinner will we be having, boyfriend?”  
  
“Watch it,” Loki warned. But now he wasn’t hiding his smile at all, small and shy as it was. “The steakhouse downtown. You like steak, right?”  
  
“Love it.”  
  
“Good.”  
  
Thor nodded. Then, “I want to kiss you right now.”  
  
“We’re at work.”  
  
“When has that stopped us before?”  
  
Loki’s flying fingers paused, frozen over his keyboard. He blinked and resumed his typing, the shy smile replaced by something clever. “Before, meaning the last couple of days?”  
  
“Counts.”  
  
“It does. But that was the elevator. A controlled environment—”  
  
“Anyone could have gotten that elevator to keep moving. It was hardly controlled—”  
  
“Here, however,” Loki said, shrugging without stopping his slew of typing. “Here in my office, we’re much more likely to risk someone seeing.”  
  
“Seeing me kiss my boyfriend who’s already told Farbauti about our… _intentions_ of late? My fiance, even. What a scandal that would be.”  
  
“Careful with the boyfriend stuff,” Loki said, tone deceptively even. His expression was unreadable.  
  
Thor wanted to ask why it bothered him so much. But he knew from before, when Loki had confided in him—or let slip—his trepidations about people he’d dated before, it would take a while. He knew when to push Loki’s buttons and when to lay off.  
  
So, he pushed. Just a little.  
  
Thor stood up. Loki didn’t look at him. Thor rounded the edge of his desk, coming to a stop beside his chair. He propped a hand close to Loki’s wrist, leaning over to deliberately invade his space. To Loki’s credit, he kept his expression blank, focused on whatever he was typing.  
  
Thor glanced at the screen. Working on a brief for the judge handling Hammer’s case. He eyed the files, the portfolios, the stack of legal writing littering Loki’s large desk. Turned back and studied Loki’s inscrutable expression.  
  
He hummed, said, “Oops,” and reached to push the closest stack of files to the floor.  
  
Loki’s eyes held on the movement, hands drawing back quickly. Thor waited a beat, and reveled only when Loki’s appraising glare dragged up his body to lock eyes with him.  
  
“What do you think you’re doing, assistant?”  
  
“Fiance,” Thor corrected him, then leaned so close he could hear Loki let out a little stuttering exhale before pushing the next closest pile aside, knocking into the farthest. Papers fell in a thud to the floor, a flutter as they crashed free of their paperclips. “I’m making room.”  
  
Loki nodded, leaning back in his chair to watch Thor elbow aside a leather portfolio. The same he often filled with notes for Loki’s busy days.  
  
“Room for what, might I ask?”  
  
“Things.”  
  
Another rustling of papers. A scritch of cardboard as Loki’s coffee was pushed aside. Loki spared a moment to lift it away from becoming collateral damage before Thor gratefully nodded and finally pushed his keyboard back. The screen was next, gently slid to the side and out of the way.  
  
“What kind of things?”  
  
Loki’s eye twitched as Thor settled himself more fully on the desk. He hitched his pants up, letting his legs open almost entirely at the level of Loki’s chest. Impossible to ignore.  
  
“What things do you think, Boss?”  
  
Loki’s lips curled up on a low hum. Almost carefully, Loki lifted one hand to rest it hot atop Thor’s thigh, thumb brushing slow over his knee.  
  
“We do this,” Loki started, “You have to be sure. Are you absolutely—”  
  
“Shut up and come here already,” Thor told him on a huff, already reaching for the lapels of his suit jacket.  
  
A startled sound bubbled out of Loki as he was hauled forward. Thor nearly pulled him out of his seat, forcing Loki to grab hard at Thor’s thighs to steady himself. He stood quickly, breathing hard into Thor’s mouth as they met. Loki bit at him, tugged and pulled until Loki was standing between his spread legs, close, so close. Thor could feel the heat of him. Could feel him growing hard against his stomach, hips barely jerking forward. Loki liked this. Liked Thor manhandling him.  
  
Thor felt brave, very brave indeed as he reached around to palm Loki’s ass, pulling him as close as possible.  
  
A moan broke free from Loki, sliding hot into Thor’s mouth and he groaned with it. He stood and, hefting Loki up in his arms, whipped them around to sit Loki on his own desk. A grunt of surprise left him but Thor could hardly concentrate on it, overcome suddenly by how Loki was rubbing eagerly against his stomach. Thor could feel the entire length of him, wanting more.  
  
Thor fell to his knees, hands quick at Loki’s fly.  
  
Thor drew him out of his pants, licked his lips, and swallowed Loki down.  
  
“Oh god, oh Jesus—” Loki swore, knuckles white where he gripped the edge of his desk. “ _Fucking Christ_!”  
  
The taste of musk and sweat and that always peculiar heady salt painted the back of his throat as he worked Loki down as far as he could take him. A hand found its way into his hair, threading tight and pulling, and pushing and pulling again until his scalp was sore. He squeezed Loki’s ass and blinked away the stinging in his eyes as Loki repeatedly hit as deep as he could reach. Thor wanted more. He wanted everything. Loki rode his throat with thrusts so consistent and gentle, Thor could hardly pick them out from how voraciously he kept at it himself.  
  
There was no warning as Loki came, a startling jolt down his throat so perfectly angled Thor was already lamenting that he didn’t have time to savor the taste.  
  
Thor pulled off as kindly as he could, letting Loki go with a last suckle to the head to wring any last drops free. Loki twitched lightly in Thor’s arms, oversensitive. The tight hold in his hair eased somewhat but didn’t leave. Instead, he felt Loki’s pinky brush the shell of his ear.  
  
He let Loki catch his breath some before saying, “I didn’t know you were religious.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, shaking his head weakly. “Oh, fuck off.”  
  
Thor felt so _happy_ just then. In a moment of feeling positively over the moon, Thor dared a final time in placing a kiss to the bared bit of Loki’s stomach.  
  
Loki’s hands smoothed down, moving to cup his face. His eyes were curiously glassy.  
  
“You’re gonna be the death of me, aren’t you?” he said softly, face flushed a pretty shade.  
  
Thor drew back, entirely meaning to answer when a knock sounded at the door.  
  
Loki’s eyes went comically wide, and he shoved at Thor’s head, slapping at him until he got the message and hurried beneath the desk. Loki stuffed himself back in his pants and landed, quite ungracefully, back in his chair. His knees shoved into Thor’s shoulders and neck, and Thor shoved back at him so Loki shoved back harder. Thor was never more grateful that Loki had opted for classic wood rather than modern steel and glass in his furniture choices.  
  
He didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he opted for placing one on the floor, the other clasped around Loki’s ankle.  
  
“What?” Loki called out, in something not quite a bark.  
  
Thor held his breath as the door opened and closed again. The sound of steps dropped off abruptly and Thor remembered what a mess he’d made of Loki’s work space.  
  
“What on earth happened to your office?”  
  
Thor squeezed his ankle so tight Loki dug the toe of his shoe into his chest.  
  
“Ah. Mother, to what do I owe the pleasure? It’s rare I see you more than once in a day.”  
  
“Hm. Yes, if that,” came Farbauti’s reply. “Did you fire someone again? You look riled.”  
  
That was a word for it.  
  
“No, no.” Thor could tell Loki was still trying to catch his breath. Trying to hide the fact it was lost in the first place. “It’s been a day. I’m feeling a little ill, actually.”  
  
“Go to bed early then. And you should really clean this up.”  
  
“After this brief is done.”  
  
“Hm.” Thor didn’t hear anything for what seemed like endless minutes. Loki’s knee jittered anxiously, hidden away. Thor tried to calm him by rubbing a thumb over his ankle. He heard Farbauti sigh, followed by the telltale whinge of the chair as she sat in it.  
  
“What is it? I’m very busy.”  
  
Another hum. Loki’s jittering slowed.  
  
“I just wanted to thank you for inviting me to Alaska.”  
  
“Thor invited you. Not me.”  
  
“I know that. Please pass on my thanks, besides.”  
  
Something hard settled in the back of Thor’s throat at the tone of her voice. Sad, distant. Thor wondered if Loki even realized.  
  
“Tell him yourself.”  
  
Thor glared at the offending houndstooth-sock-covered ankle in front of him.  
  
“Oh, is he here?”  
  
Loki laughed, sounding not quite right. Thor squeezed him again and it died off.  
  
“Are you doing alright, son?”  
  
“Don’t call me that.”  
  
Silence. “I do hope Alaska is…that Alaska will be nice,” Farbauti told him. A squeak of leather as she stood up. “I shall send a letter thanking Thor myself. He seems to be a nice boy.”  
  
“He can be.”  
  
“He treats you well?” she asked.  
  
A pause, then, “Better than I deserve.”  
  
“Likely true.”  
  
Thor could see where Loki got it from.  
  
It sounded like she was heading back out and Thor could feel more than hear the little sigh of relief Loki let out as he sagged down in his seat.  
  
“Loki?”  
  
He tensed again. Thor moved his forearm up to hold Loki’s calf in a loose embrace.  
  
“Yes?” He sounded tired.  
  
“You’re not just doing this to get around the will, correct?”  
  
Loki straightened in his chair. Thor leaned his temple against Loki’s shin.  
  
“Contrary to how little faith you have in my capacity to _feel_ , Mother, I am marrying Thor. For real. He’s more than I deserve. He treats me like I mean something, like I matter to him. Even after he puts up with all the shit I put him through, he sticks around. Which is more than I can say of anyone else, myself included.”  
  
Thor held his breath. His heart felt heavy right then.  
  
“Loki.”  
  
“I have work to do.”  
  
Thor couldn’t tell what was happening between Loki and his mother just then. He wished so much to see what was transpiring in silence above him. Wished he could do something, about any of it.  
  
The door opened and closed and then they were alone.  
  
—  
  
Loki groaned, frustrated. He rolled back in his chair and met Thor’s eyes.  
  
“Get up here.”  
  
Thor obeyed, coming to rest on his knees so Loki could lean the rest of the way down. Loki kissed slow and sad in a way Thor had never experienced from him, so he wrapped his arms around Loki’s waist. Hugged him close until Loki decided it was enough.  
  
“Now,” Loki said after a long while, pulling back, “Help me straighten my office.”  
  
—  
  
The steakhouse was packed when they arrived. It was busier than Thor imagined, and less…fancy than what he’d pictured Loki preferring to eat at.  Up to snuff, per se. He’d always assumed Loki went to upscale three Michelin star restaurants, not steak joints that passed out laminated menus with crusted daubs of barbecue sauce to avoid accidentally sticking your finger in. Then again, he’d always imagined Loki living in a glass house with three different sports cars too.  
  
Thor smiled at the host as Loki listed off his name for a table. Thor placed a hand on Loki’s lower back as they were led away, not missing the way Loki not only let him but leaned back into the touch for a brief moment. They passed families eating everything from sandwiches to cuts of meat so rare they bled off the slab of wood they rested on.  
  
“You’ve never been here, I take it?” Loki asked him as he sat in their chosen booth. He flipped his napkin up and folded it to lay across his waist. The host hurried off.  
  
Thor did the same, eyeing the low lighting. “Nope.”  
  
Thor read the menu front to back but when their waiter arrived, Loki was the one to order for both of them.  
  
“Two 12oz filet mignons and your best Cabernet Sauvignon, thank you.”  
  
The waiter inclined her head, scribbling on her notepad.  
  
“Actually,” Thor cut in, “I’ll have the ribeye.”  
  
“Good choice, sir.”  
  
Loki watched him. “Why?”  
  
“The fat means more marbling, means it tastes better. A filet mignon is juicy sure, but the taste is boring. No use spending all this on something that’s not going to taste great.”  
  
Loki seemed to consider it. “I’ll have the same, then.”  
  
She dipped her head once more before collecting their menus and heading off.  
  
“You eat steak a lot?”  
  
Loki shrugged.  
  
“Is this your first time here, too?” Thor asked, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice.  
  
Loki didn’t answer him which was answer enough.  
  
“You know more about wine, at least.”  
  
Loki snorted at that.  
  
“So, you go out to eat a lot?” Thor asked.  
  
“Almost every night.”  
  
“No, I mean to places like this. Where you sit down and actually spend time in a nice restaurant.”  
  
“This isn’t exactly the highest of high-end establishments, Thor.”  
  
“Come on, Loki.”  
  
He shrugged again. “Not really. No time, no energy when I have the time. No one to go with,” he added on, more quietly.  
  
“Me either.”  
  
“You have all the time in the world,” Loki huffed at him.  
  
Thor shook his head, no. “You keep me plenty busy.”  
  
Loki pursed his lips in thought. “You and Sif don’t go out to eat every now and again?”  
  
Was Loki being serious? “Not as often as I’d like. What with being called in to work almost every single day and all.”  
  
Loki’s lips twisted then, pulling down. “Well. That won’t be a problem anymore with your promotion.”  
  
He could push it. Could make Loki suffer in limbo with the knowledge of how he’d robbed Thor of so much of his life for the past year. Brush it off in a tease, or a joke.  
  
Anxious, Loki began chewing on his lower lip. His fingers tapped nervously on the table as he stared down into the worn grain.  
  
Thor reached forward and took Loki’s hands up in his.  
  
“I don’t know. I think you’ll still find ways to keep me on a short leash,” Thor murmured over to him. He hoped his try at sounding conspiring was working.  
  
Loki blinked at him, jaw working. Thor squeezed his hands.  
  
“Don’t give me ideas,” Loki finally said, and seemed better for it.  
  
—  
  
It was still light out enough that Thor decided, yes, there was time. He brought out his bag of tools after parking in front of Loki’s place. Loki pulled into the lot beside him. He shut off his clunking car and climbed out, and his dark brows shot up when he spied Thor’s tools.  
  
“I almost didn’t believe you,” Loki told him in mild surprise. “Guess I get to listen to you hammering away for the next few hours?”  
  
“Depends on how long I’m welcome,” Thor shot back, heart in his throat despite his best efforts to keep the nerves from his voice.  
  
Loki’s smile then was thoughtful.  
  
“We’ll see.”  
  
—  
  
A nervous energy had settled inside him since the steakhouse, not unlike the first time he’d been to Loki’s place. He wondered if it would ever get easier, in time. Knew that it had to at some point. He fought to keep his knee from bouncing as he waited for Loki to tackle his front door open. Thor idly hoped they’d hear no wayward gunshots that night.  
  
The hole on the opposite wall seemed larger than the day before.  
  
Loki wasted no time in stepping through, heading straight for his bathroom.  
  
“Taking a shower. Have fun,” he called back. It wasn’t five minutes before the water was running. Thor was left to himself.  
  
The very first step inside Thor noticed a squeak beneath his shoe. He set his bag down and shifted his weight, testing the source. Fingered the edge of the runner to flip it over and press with his knuckles on the squeaking linoleum. He’d have to cut it and peel it up if he wanted to fix it. Probably had hardwood underneath like older places sometimes did. Terrible old fad. At least the landlord wouldn’t mind, with how attentive he’d clearly been with the rest of the place, falling apart like it was.  
  
Sighing, Thor took out what he needed and set to work on the door. He replaced all four bolts, had to hammer the little sheet of metal flat and it was good as new. Realized in the middle of working that the topmost hinge holding the door to the threshold was loose and creaking itself. He frowned and fixed that next.  
  
Not two feet into the kitchen did he spy a crack in the wall above Loki’s toaster. Everywhere he turned there was a new surprise, and he wondered how Loki could have possibly stood living here for almost a decade of his life.  
  
He checked the mold beneath the sink again and set to scrubbing that first. Then he checked the sink pipes for any leaks. Just one, small enough to explain the plastic cup that was sitting beneath it.  
  
As Thor went along, he made a mental list of items to pick up. Plaster, epoxy, drywall patches, new wheels for the drawers, at least three square feet of new tile he was sure he could match the color to next time…it went on and on. Maybe he’d add a new coat of paint, something bright to breathe some life into the space. Wondered if he could convince Loki to leave for a day while he set to work on sprucing everything up.  
  
Thor pushed that idea down far.  
  
He was nailing a loose drawer back together when the water shut off. He braced himself, knowing Loki was surely going to have plenty to say about how he had his tools spread out in the hall, the kitchen, the counters…new problems and more solutions waiting to be carried out.  
  
Then Loki shut the door to the bathroom and the kitchen light went out with a snap. Thor groaned, glaring up at the old dusty thing.  
  
Loki rounded the corner, shirtless and with a towel around his waist. He blinked at Thor, pinching a dark curl behind one ear.  
  
“Oh. Yeah, that happens sometimes,” Loki said, casual. “Sometimes when I close the fridge, the breaker flips.”  
  
Thor swallowed looking at him. Saw drops of water trail languid down his pale chest.  
  
“That sounds like a major electrical problem,” he managed. “You got any spare bulbs?”  
  
Loki hummed. “Maybe. Check the hall closet.” And he left again, seeming unbothered.  
  
Thor could hardly concentrate as he did as Loki suggested. He could hear Loki shuffling through his closet, the tiny huffs of breath as he got dressed. Thor stopped thinking. Instead, he found a half used box of lightbulbs, grabbed one and the step stool folded in the corner.  
  
Loki came back out in sweats and bare feet. Thor glared down at him from his spot at the top of the step stool, new bulb in hand as he fought to line it up.  
  
“What now?” Loki asked him, already sounding annoyed.  
  
“You should wear shoes in this disaster of a kitchen.”  
  
Loki glared back up at him. “It’s my kitchen. I know where I’m walking.”  
  
Thor shook his head. He turned back to the light, trying again to line up the bulb. Every turn just pushed it further away. He grunted. “I don’t know how you haven’t gotten tetanus yet.”  
  
“What was that?”  
  
“I said,” he said, “I don’t know why you haven’t gotten tetanus yet. This place is a danger zone.”  
  
Loki crossed his arms, watching him work. Or try to, anyway. “Construction zone now, really. You really made yourself at home, didn’t you.”  
  
“Ha ha.” Thor swore when it didn’t work for a fifth time. “There’s something wrong, this isn’t the right lightbulb.”  
  
“Yes it is. You just have to press it in harder.”  
  
“I’m _trying_.” Thor tried again and winced at the resulting loud scrape. “I hope you’re not overly fond of this kitchen light.”  
  
He heard a rush of breath below him but couldn’t afford to turn away now. “And what does that mean, exactly?”  
  
Thor frowned. “I could find another fixture. Could take the rim off, use my whole hand. The wiring looks tricky, though.” He sighed again, more frustrated by the minute. “Gonna have to get my whole arm in here. I’m ready to punch the damn thing in.”  
  
Loki didn’t answer him right away and Thor worried he’d overstayed his welcome already. Loki probably wasn’t ready for him to commit to week long fix-it-up projects.  
  
“Oh,” Loki finally muttered. He sounded out of breath. Probably upset, Thor thought. “Really?”  
  
“Yeah. I could try and just force it,” Thor offered, going to try exactly that.  
  
“No!” Loki cried. “Gently! Do it gently!”  
  
“Loki, I’m going to have to really get this in here. Gentle isn’t going to cut it I don’t think.”  
  
“Thor, you will not be forcing anything inside of my…my _fixture_.”  
  
Thor threw his hands up, bulb firmly in his hold. He finally looked down, met Loki’s odd gaze. One eyebrow tilted up in that funny way that told Thor that Loki was nervous. And he was flushed, cheeks and part of his neck red. The water heater was probably turned too high, he’d have to take a look at that next.  
  
“I tried grabbing the wires with three fingers, Loki. I don’t know what to tell you, this thing as it is is gonna need a whole lot more than three fingers to be ready for anything else. It needs an entire new fixture to go on.”  
  
Loki nodded slow, eyes wide.  
  
“I might need your help fitting it inside, Loki.”  
  
After waiting a beat with no response Thor went back to work. Loki slapped his leg and started climbing on top of his kitchen counter, one hand braced against the stool to steady himself. He was eye level with Thor soon enough and he grabbed at the light himself.  
  
“You’re useless. I’ll show you how to do it. I do this all the time by myself,” Loki rushed out.  
  
Thor tried to help by twisting the screw in but Loki made a shocked sound.  
  
“Stop that. Put your thumb here, yes, like that. Now your other finger there, yes, perfect. Now hold there while I twist it around.”  
  
“I’m trying, my finger isn’t on the right screw I don’t think.”  
  
“Oh, yes it is.”  
  
“Loki let me just try a little to the left—”  
  
Loki gasped, eyes narrowing dangerously at him. “You move another inch and I will push you off this stool.”  
  
Thor breathed out harsh through his nose.  
  
“My hand is cramping. How much longer?”  
  
“Trust me, Thor.”  
  
“It’s not going in right.”  
  
“It’s going in just fine. You just can’t see it from your angle.”  
  
“It doesn’t feel right, Loki.”  
  
“I think it feels perfect, now can you please _shut up_.” Finally the bulb slid home. “See? You didn’t have to use your whole arm or anything.”  
  
Loki slid his arm up to steady himself with a hand at Thor’s back instead of the stool.  
  
“Your apartment is a nightmare, Loki.”  
  
Loki climbed back down first, holding a hand out for Thor to take. He didn’t let go even when Thor was on equal footing again.  
  
“It is. But it’s home.”  
  
He looked down to where Loki held his hand. He felt a squeeze, a mirror from earlier at dinner. Thor smiled, stepping into Loki’s space.  
  
“Now,” Thor whispered, pressing an open mouthed kiss to Loki’s flushed cheek, “Lead me to your water heater.”  
  
Loki made a face. “Why?”  
  
“You’re far too flushed in the face after your shower. It might need an adjustment.”  
  
Loki drew back from him, a hand on his chest. He gave him a wondering look.  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“You’re going to adjust my knobs?”  
  
“Yes. Can’t be having scorching showers all the time. You’ll pass out.”  
  
Loki’s mouth split on a grin.  
  
“Thor,” he said, leveling him a look. “You’re telling me you want to touch my knob, to make sure I only get just hot enough?”  
  
“Yeah…?” He blinked and Loki laughed.  
  
Then it clicked and it was Thor’s turn to blush.  
  
He cast a wary glance back at the newly shining kitchen light.  
  
“Thanks for that.”  
  
“You were just on such a roll.”  
  
He groaned, letting Loki’s shoulder catch his forehead.  
  
Loki led him to the couch, laughing all the way.  
  
“No more work for now,” he said. “Let’s find a movie.”  
  
An hour later, Loki’s head pillowed on his chest, his fingers threaded loose in dark hair, he realized he was happy. Really happy. Loki was asleep, half draped over him. He could smell Loki’s citrus shampoo. He could feel himself dozing, warm and thoroughly sunk in under Loki’s weight.  
  
Thor wouldn’t move for the world.


	8. Alaska

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, extra long chapter! One more left to go!
> 
> Also I've never been to Alaska, I apologize.

Thor woke slowly, the memory of the night before drifted back to him. Loki falling asleep on top of him, fingers twitching against his sides in sleep, the warm puff of breath on Thor’s cheek.  
  
Now, he felt first the trail of those fingers, light over his chest, his stomach, down to his groin to cup his sleep-slow erection before they left altogether. Thor hummed in displeasure, and smiled when he heard Loki’s answering quiet laughter beside him before that same hand found his cheek. Thor opened his eyes.  
  
Loki kissed him the rest of the way awake.  
  
Just Loki. Not his boss. Not his pretend boyfriend, or fake fiance. Not even his boyfriend. Because it felt like more, the way Loki was looking at him right then. Felt like a lot more than Thor knew how to put words to, to describe in the details he felt as if he was grasping for. An explanation for the strangely entwined days they’d shared. The anger, the sadness, and the odd, bubbling hope that had been building during it all.  
  
Thor’s smile was contagious. It spread to Loki slow, pulling his cheeks and scrunching his eyes. He bit his lip and it was shy so Thor leaned in to smooth it away. Loki’s little shallow inhale would stick with him for a long time, Thor knew.  
  
Loki pulled back and settled once more against him, face tucked into Thor’s neck. He felt a warm rush of breath as he sighed, arms loose around Thor in a hug. A _hug_.  
  
 _I love you_ , Thor thought and hugged him back.  
  
Thor couldn’t remember a time when he was so happy.  
  
—  
  
He fucking hated Loki.  
  
“What?” Loki asked him, all innocence wrapped up in a knowing smirk.  
  
It had been weeks since that morning in Loki’s apartment. Thor had graciously saved himself the trouble of letting Loki know his admittedly not so sudden feelings. Instead had spent a lot of time fixing up Loki’s apartment, which was coming together piece by piece, however slow. The new tile, Loki had told him, was a revelation. Thor remembered fondly the way Loki walked around in circles in his kitchen, aimless and appreciative of Thor’s handiwork. He remembered fondly the way Loki had thanked him by sliding clever lips around him that night too.  
  
But now, bundled in a puffy orange winter coat Loki had bought not three hours before their flight, he looked not unlike a mildly displeased, if vaguely self-satisfied carrot. Thor imagined he looked simply upset, dressed in wool layered on wool. He reached over and tugged on one of Loki’s gloves to annoy him, and wrinkled his nose when it worked.  
  
“You traded my seat with your mother so I’ll be smack in the middle between you two,” Thor reminded him on a harsh whisper as Loki pulled his glove back on.  
  
He jerked his chin to where Farbauti walked ahead of them in a simple black suit, earphones already firmly in place as they made their way to the shuttle. Ten minutes and they’d be in the air, hopefully.  
  
Loki shrugged. “I called ahead and they said it would be no issue. I didn’t think you’d mind.”  
  
That was an understatement. “I very much mind having to mediate between the two of you. You’re like snarling dogs over scraps of meat—”  
  
“That’s a bit harsh.”  
  
“—On the best of days,” Thor finished pointedly. “You overestimate my mental capacity for dealing with members of your family.”  
  
Loki aimed a funny smile at him. “You deal with me just fine.”  
  
Thor pursed his lips some. “You’re different. And besides. Of the two of your family, I’d much rather be left alone with you than your mom.”  
  
“That makes two of us,” Loki told him, cheery. “You’ll be fine. You have music for a few hours.”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“So does she.”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
Thor felt Loki’s hand brush his. Then long fingers were worming their way between his own in a reassuring squeeze. It just made Thor want to hold tight and drag Loki right back to their firm, where they could work in peace and forget about this week long trip.  
  
“Do not make me regret the relative bliss we’ve shared these last few weeks, _dearest_ ,” Loki cooed over to him. “One more week and then we won’t have to deal with this…this dilemma of ours until next year.”  
  
Thor glowered, knowing Loki was right. But when facing down the prospect of sitting between Farbauti and Loki, surely flinging lowbrow insults at each other for an hours-long flight was—  
  
“Wait,” Thor said, catching up, “Next year?”  
  
Loki blinked, realizing what he said and let Thor’s hand drop.  
  
Something happy worked its way up his spine. “You’ll be here…next year?”  
  
Loki blinked again, looking away. Then he slid a cautious glance back to Thor.  
  
“Maybe,” he said, nonchalant. Thor leaned in for a kiss but Loki stopped him with a finger to his lips. “If you do not test me, that is. Starting right now, all through our little trip to winter wonderland, and on the flight back. Until we stand in exactly this spot, seven days from now, you are not allowed to do anything I consider annoying, frustrating, embarrassingly sentimental, or all of the above.”  
  
“But Loki,” Thor told him, barely holding back a grin, “I’m frequently all of the above to you. You tell me daily.”  
  
Loki gave him something between a smile and sneer. “Therein lies the challenge. Have fun.”  
  
—  
  
Thor had his music and Farbauti had hers. Every now and again Thor would steal glances he couldn’t seem to quite control at her phone as she scrolled through her email. Thousands of notifications, Thor saw, stunned. How could anyone function with so many unread messages was beyond him.  
  
Loki excused himself to run to the bathroom. Thor swallowed, anxious for the obvious opening Loki had just unknowingly—god, how Thor hoped it was unknowingly—provided for his mother to rip into Thor.  
  
Farbauti lifted her head, clicked off her phone.  
  
Three…  
  
She smiled wryly and removed one bud from her ear.  
  
Two…  
  
Farbauti turned to him and opened her mouth and Thor wilted.  
  
One.  
  
“So,” she said. Thor was going to strangle Loki for allowing this to happen. “I am well aware of the fact you are the only reason I am going along on this trip of yours. Loki told me as much.”  
  
Thor took out his own buds to reply when Farbauti raised one manicured hand.  
  
“No, please. I understand that, having been with my son for so many months by this point,” here she paused, looking at him pointedly, as if she could see right through him, “you may have some preconceived ideas about Loki’s and my relationship. I know you’ve been no stranger to the regard in which he holds me.”  
  
“He doesn’t like I invited you,” Thor told her, instantly biting his tongue. Farbauti had a rigid sort of set to her jaw that always made meeting her visage tricky, her eyes almost impossible. Loki definitely got his glower from his mother. A severity that effortlessly inspired honesty at the worst times.  
  
Thor was honestly surprised he and Loki had managed to keep their secret—which was, in truth, not so secret anymore—secret in the first place and for so long.  
  
Also, how long did someone take in the bathroom? Loki was taking forever.  
  
Farbauti inclined her head, only enough for her eyes to flick past him before snapping back to his.  
  
“I know. I appreciate your ability to handle my son and all his…vices.”  
  
“Vices?”  
  
“Loki can be difficult, I know. Laufey was never fond of the boy,” she said, and it cut Thor to hear it put so plainly. “It made for a rough childhood for him, even I can admit that.”  
  
“What does this have to do with now? This trip?” he asked her, wanting to somehow switch his and Loki’s seat with the elderly couple sitting across from them. “Having a hard time as a kid doesn’t qualify as a vice.”  
  
“You forget that vices are moral failings,” she said. “Loki can be obstinate, stubborn, socially weak compared to his peers. His attitude is damaging, especially where it concerns his own self image and how others perceive him. He’s also got quite a terrible self destructive streak I’ve never been able to get him to shake. He also lies for fun, so I wouldn’t be surprised if certain things were to come to light on this little trip.”  
  
Thor’s mouth was dry. He was angry.  
  
To imply Loki was lying to him, or about him—which yeah, alright, they both were once upon a time, but now? Now, Thor knew what it was like to wake up beside Loki, drooling on his pillow and hogging the comforter. Knew what it was like to have Loki order him around all day at work but give him a head massage the second they went back to his shoddy flat.  
  
Though, Loki still hadn’t been over to Thor’s place. And they were taking things slow, which was just fine with Thor.  
  
“With motivation like this, I can’t see why he never picked up on it,” Thor said, not quite able to hide the bite from his voice.  
  
Farbauti sneered at him and it was so similar to Loki’s that Thor felt unnerved by the expression. But he didn’t let her speak. She had a lot she needed to hear, and he knew not all of his should be from him. But she needed to know.  
  
“Your son is a hardass, yeah. Hard to get along with, and an asshole almost all of the time. But he’s not a bad person, and he’s not as worthless as he’s been made to feel. He might be good at lying, but he’s good at his job, and he’s wary around others. That’s something I’ve dealt with from him for a year now, so no need to warn me of anything I don’t already know and,” he said, lowering his voice, “frankly love about him. I don’t know what your deal is with him but he’s your _son_ , your child. Maybe you and Laufey forgot that somewhere along the way, but once he’s got control of the company I think you’ll find he’s more than capable of proving you wrong. You say he’s self destructive, but I’ve not seen anything from you telling me you’ve ever tried to help him. Hell, even just to support him. You treat him like he’ll never be good enough.”  
  
“That’s not true,” Farbauti told him, on a mutter. “I do love my son.”  
  
“You don’t need to prove that to me. You need to show it to him. And see that he’s not as hopeless as you think he is.”  
  
She sighed heavily through the nose, frustrated. Her sight switched to the floor, then back. “I only wish he and I—”  
  
“Talking about me while I’m gone isn’t exactly kind, mother,” came Loki’s only slightly scathing tone from behind Thor. Farbauti’s eyes trailed up to her son and then went back to her phone. She resumed browsing through emails, earbud back in place as if she hadn’t just tried to talk her son down from whatever pedestal she believed Thor to have placed him upon.  
  
Thor was still watching her as Loki settled back in his seat. Watched her even as Loki’s hand found his forearm, a warm, very present weight. Loki tugged on his sleeve and Thor finally turned away, blinking away the angry tears that had begun to form.  
  
“She’s not worth it,” Loki told him, matter of fact.  
  
Loki kissed Thor’s cheek, held his hand. Easy things, now. Easy things that Thor’s come to regret the last year for never having before. Before their lie. It wasn’t fair they’d wasted time. Wasn’t fair the contract of Laufey’s will Loki was beholden to, no matter that it led to the best thing Thor’s had—he can admit that now, freely and happily, but only to himself don’t get him wrong—in his life. He’s not going to let anything ruin it. Won’t let anything or anyone pry it from him. Won’t let anything hurt him or Loki.  
  
And, he decided while looking down at where Loki’s fingers threaded through his, he wouldn’t let Farbauti get close enough to Loki to hurt him for the rest of the week.  
  
Or after, if he had a say in it. For the rest of Loki’s life if he’d have him—  
  
And wasn’t that a terrifying thought?  
  
Thor shook his head at himself, shaking the suddenly too serious thoughts from his head. Focused on Loki’s breathing beside him instead.  
  
Here, Thor told himself. Here, in this moment, it was better.  
  
—  
  
They land only thirty minutes past the time they were expected. Frigga and Balder are there to greet them, holding a funny sign with glittery letters the second they’re past the gate.  
  
Thor hugged them both tightly, not realizing how much he’d missed them until that moment.  
  
“Where’s dad?” he asked his brother.  
  
Balder shrugged. “You know. Licking his wounds like a good boy.”  
  
Thor glanced back to where Frigga was embracing Loki tight to her. Farbauti was even smiling a little at the sight, amused. When Frigga released Loki she turned her open arms to Farbauti next who compromised by grabbing one of Frigga’s hands to shake it instead.  
  
“So he told you about the little road trip he dragged me on?” Thor asked him, reminded of that day in Odin’s old car.  
  
“I worked it out of him. He’s happy about the engagement, we all are. But I think you should talk to him again.”  
  
Thor hummed unpleasantly. “Don’t even start, Balder—”  
  
Balder poked him hard in the chest. “You’re bringing someone new into the family. Forgive me if I don’t want you making the mistake I did—well, hell, you know what I mean. Talk to him this week, alright? Don’t let him,” Balder said, nodding towards where Loki hovered, “come into this family before all the bad blood is settled.”  
  
Thor set his jaw. They’d been over this before. But something about Balder’s eyes was tired…everything about his brother was tired these days. Not spending the holiday with Nanna and the kids must have been hard in itself without having to deal with their father’s bad attitude on top of it.  
  
“How did you get it out of him?”  
  
“What, the talk you guys had?” Balder sighed. “Wasn’t hard. He’s…sad now. It’s pathetic, really. I mean the anger isn’t even there anymore. He’s just really…really fucking sad all the time now. I don’t know what to do around him half the time. But it’s easier to needle him about hard stuff.”  
  
Balder rubbed at his chin. His scruff was longer. Thor didn’t know if he’d ever seen his brother look so haggard before. As haggard as he allowed himself to be, at least.  
  
“How’re the kids doing?” Thor asked him, gentle.  
  
Balder’s lips twitched up. “They’re doing really good. Nanna flew them out a while back and I got to show them the cabin for two weeks, just the three of us. ‘Seti loves fishing.”  
  
“You mean he loves fish?”  
  
It brought a broken little laugh to the surface. “Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I miss them, Thor.”  
  
“I know.” Thor squeezed his little brother’s shoulder, knowing the telltale sign of shining eyes. He hugged Balder close a second time before moving to squeeze his neck. “Come on, kid. Let’s go see what we can’t put Loki through this week, yeah?”  
  
Balder sniffed, eyes lighting up in a little mischief. “Yeah, I can scrounge something good up I think. You know he took to mudding like a fish to water.”  
  
“I know,” Thor said, reminded of the muddy clothes he’d finally gotten back. “I’m still shocked he did that. He’s usually so…”  
  
“Put together?”  
  
“You could say that.”  
  
Balder hummed. “You look happy.” How he said it was odd, too thoughtful.  
  
“I didn’t before?” And maybe it was the wrong thing to say because Balder let out a little scoff. “Come on, spit it out. You started doing this last time too.”  
  
Balder shrugged. “You know, I didn’t think it was real. The two of you,” he said, pointing at Loki easily. “The whole dating your boss thing. It’s weird as hell.”  
  
“You couldn’t have found a point in the last month to tell me this?” His heart was racing. They couldn’t be found out, now, of all—  
  
“Calm down, calm down. I wanted to take Loki mudding to pick his brain. See if he was serious about you. Wasn’t using you for some weird dark shit or something.”  
  
Thor nodded, feeling his heart sink.  
  
Balder was looking at Loki, appraising how he interacted with Frigga. Their time was running thin, the others winding down from their hellos and hugs. Farbauti looked to be doing everything in her power to cut Frigga’s questions off but their mother persisted, unflinching.  
  
Loki turned to them, smiled a little. His gaze settled on Balder and Thor saw a hint of the all too familiar Big Boss creep back into his face on a small frown.  
  
Balder cleared his throat.  
  
“And I was wrong,” he said. “I think Loki is gonna be around for a long time. And I think he’s good for you.”  
  
Thor was surprised. Still more than a little unsettled by the truth being so close to the surface that he just looked at Balder in silence. All he could manage in answer was a nod.  
  
Loki took a step towards them and the others followed.  
  
“So, thought about kids yet?” Balder asked, and Thor laughed, loud.  
  
“Kids?” Loki’s mother piped up, eyes zeroed in on Thor like a hawk spotting prey.  
  
“Kids!” Frigga squeaked, grabbing at Loki’s shoulder.  
  
Loki sent him a death glare, one among many. Thor had since grown used to them, and he could only offer his best _I’m so sorry_ look in answer.  
  
—  
  
Juneau was beautiful.  
  
The town was small, but an obvious tourist trap. Everywhere there bustled people armed with cameras making Instagram-ready poses facing the water and the surprisingly mostly-green mountains beyond. Thor had expected heavy snowfall, but there was only enough on the streets and trees and buildings themselves to lend to the image of the town being somewhat of a winter wonderland. But the farther into the city proper they got, the more hometown it really felt.  
  
The wind picked up the farther they walked. Thor was chilled but he enjoyed the bite at his nose and cheeks. When he looked over at Loki to see how he was faring, he had his arms casually in his pockets, and was looking around totally unbothered by the weather.  
  
“You seem very in your element,” Thor informed him. “Come to think of it, you wore that ridiculous suit in Florida, so who am I to say.”  
  
Loki huffed. “Very wise of you, fiance,” he teased. The word was mostly for the benefit of Farbauti who lingered far too closely for Thor’s liking. But it still made his heart thump happily. “Though I won’t vouch for my skill in snow sports.”  
  
Frigga was inside the nearest grocer with Balder to grab the things they couldn’t take on the plane.  
  
“He’s right, he’s terrible in all things athletic.”  
  
Loki, still facing Thor, rolled his eyes before turning to his mother. “Thank you for the vote of confidence, as always.”  
  
“You’re very welcome, son. Loki was always better with art, though if he dabbles any longer I wouldn’t know. He’s not shown me anything he’s made since he was a teenager.”  
  
Loki’s shoulders set in a rigid line. Thor could practically feel the anger beginning to roll off of him.  
  
“Art, huh? I didn’t know that.” He smoothed a hand down Loki’s tense back. “Do you?”  
  
“Do I what?” Loki bit out.  
  
“Do…art?”  
  
Loki relaxed somewhat. Leaning back into Thor’s touch and huffing again. “You don’t _do_ art. You make it. And sometimes, yes.”  
  
Thor dared to lean forward to place a kiss on Loki’s frozen cheek. Loki grumbled in protest but after, his cheeks were red from more than just the cold.  
  
Farbauti was smiling softly at them when Thor pulled back.  
  
“I doubt there will be snow enough to ski,” Thor commented idly, wanting to change the subject before anything else could strain the already tense air between Loki and his mother.  
  
“There’s plenty in Eaglecrest,” Farbauti said, surprising them both. “What? I did my research.”  
  
Thor caught sight of Frigga and Balder heading towards them, bags in hand. She was grinning and breathless, looking windswept.  
  
“Now,” she exclaimed, sounding entirely too happy, “Let’s get back to the hotel.”  
  
—  
  
It wasn’t so much a hotel as a cabin.  
  
“I made sure it was spacious,” Loki told him on the ride over, after explaining the more private cabin option he’d chosen. Then, quiet enough for Thor’s ears only, “Meaning I wanted everyone decidedly away from each other when shit inevitably hits the fan.”  
  
Spacious turned out to mean a series of cabins. Farbauti had her own. Thor and Loki had theirs. Balder was stuck on the couch with their parents and Thor couldn’t help but laugh at his expense, but only a little. Enough for Balder to pinch him hard on the side. Each had their own resplendent Christmas tree in the corner, fully decorated with stumps freshly chopped.  
  
Odin wasn’t anywhere Thor could find, to his unsaid relief.  
  
It was on the water. They had two rental cars, nicer than Loki’s back home, and a series of kayaks lined up in a row waiting to be set in the water by eager rowers.  
  
“How much did this cost you?” Thor whispered to Loki as their families put their things away. He felt anxious just looking at everything. Full kitchens and furnished suits accompanied each one. The curtains were even nice, they had _lace embroidery_. Who put that on curtains? “Loki this is too fancy.”  
  
Loki hummed, no concern for being quiet. “Don’t worry about it. Not my money technically, right? Not yet at least.”  
  
Farbauti glanced over at them at that before making her way inside her own cabin. The door shut gently after.  
  
“I’ll not be held accountable for whatever untoward actions I take this week,” Loki muttered, glaring at where she’d disappeared inside.  
  
“Loki, she’s your mother.” She was, regardless of whatever she’d told Thor on the plane ride here. “I’m not going to allow her to suddenly and under entirely innocent circumstances go missing on a mountain somewhere. Besides, I think she’s just happy to be here.”  
  
Loki let out a loud laugh at that and trudged up the steps to their own door. He produced a key and shouldered his own luggage inside, still laughing. At least he managed his own luggage this time, Thor thought.  
  
Theirs was smaller than his parents cabin, but equally nice. The only problem was the bed.  
  
“It’s so short.”  
  
Loki didn’t dispute it, laying out his clothes to fold on top in neat stacks. “We’ll figure it out.”  
  
Thor went to the window facing Farbauti’s cabin and inched open the curtain. He caught sight of her shadow moving within, probably unpacking like they were.  
  
“You know, she told me some wild stuff on the plane.”  
  
“I caught the end of it. She never has anything good to say about me, trust me.”  
  
Thor nodded, distracted. “You two should talk. Really just get everything out there.”  
  
Loki snorted at that. Thor heard a creak and turned to see Loki siting on the edge of the small bed, watching him.  
  
“What, like you and Odin’s little heart to heart?”  
  
Thor narrowed his eyes. “That’s different.”  
  
“How?” Loki countered, knowing.  
  
He had Thor there.  
  
“He hit me.”  
  
“You told me.” Thor had told him. Had told him a lot of things in the last few weeks. “You think Farbauti and Laufey never hit me? Thor, please.”  
  
Thor winced. “I don’t work with Odin though.”  
  
It was Loki’s turn to narrow his eyes. “It’s nice you think I was given the choice.”  
  
Thor went to him, placing his hands on Loki’s shoulders. Loki wouldn’t look at him.  
  
“Is this our first fight?” he asked.  
  
Loki toed at his shin. “Maybe our five-hundredth with our work history and all.”  
  
It made Thor laugh, sudden and unexpected. Loki leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Thor’s navel. Then Thor felt the press of Loki’s mouth to his groin in an easy peck.  
  
“Hey now.”  
  
“We have yet to cash in on our benefit of make-up sex. So, Thor, if you’ll be so kind as to indulge me after the major indiscretion of that raucous first couple’s argument.”  
  
“Really? That’s the conversation that got you going?”  
  
“I’m positively quaking,” Loki deadpanned.  
  
“Loki…”  
  
Loki’s hands stilled where they’d gone to finger at Thor’s belt and fly. He sighed and peered up at him, unimpressed.  
  
“You’re a real good mood killer, you know that?”  
  
Thor smiled at him, easy and full. Loki tugged unhurriedly at his belt, more pressure than purpose.  
  
“You know I’m right. You have to talk to her eventually,” Thor said, soft. “Just like I have to talk to Odin.”  
  
Loki set his jaw but nodded slightly anyway.  
  
“And what if I’m not ready for that yet,” Loki said, quiet and bitter.  
  
“That’s fine,” Thor assured. “Neither am I. But one day.”  
  
Loki hummed, unconvinced.  
  
“One day.”  
  
—  
  
It was decided at some point that afternoon that Loki would be enlisted to make peanut brittle. Frigga dragged him off by the elbow, Thor following dutifully behind if only to witness more attempts at Loki’s cooking and gossiping with his mother. He was still so pleased his mother was taken by Loki so thoroughly. She seemed to adore him.  
  
Farbauti had nearly followed but announced offhandedly she’d be by the water instead. Now, from the main cabin’s large windows, he could see her sitting at the edge of the kayaks, looking at her knees.  
  
“Now, Christmas Eve is tomorrow,” Frigga said, all excitement. “Are you going to tell me what you got my son?”  
  
Thor glanced at them and smiled. “Yeah, you should let me know now just in case.”  
  
“In case of what?” Balder called from his spot on the couch.  
  
Thor made a face. “In case I got him the same thing.”  
  
And it was a good gift, too. Thor was quite proud of what he’d managed to pick out. Fit in at just the edge of his budget but he knew Loki would appreciate it. At least Thor hoped he would. His plan was to hand it to Loki on Christmas morning.  
  
Loki’s expression was blank. “Of course. Yes, of course.” He seemed to snap out of whatever had come over him. “Like hell am I going to tell you. It’s a surprise.”  
  
Balder chuckled and Thor raised an eyebrow at it.  
  
“Where’s dad, by the way?” Thor asked instead. He still hadn’t seen him.  
  
Frigga grinned, a familiar look of mischief Thor recognized from better days.  
  
“Oh, he’s putting together a surprise for you boys,” she announced, pulling out bowls and wax paper. “That’s for tomorrow though, so get up early. He should be back in a couple of hours.”  
  
Loki cast Thor a questioning look. He shrugged. He had no idea what Odin could be planning.  
  
“How early is early?”  
  
Frigga made a show of shrugging. “Four, I think. Should be right.”  
  
“Good lord,” Loki muttered. Frigga bumped his hip with hers.  
  
“It’ll be a good experience, I promise.”  
  
Peanut brittle wasn’t Thor’s absolute favorite, but Frigga’s always took the treat to a level above good and decidedly in comfort food territory. It was easy enough to make though Loki looked, to Thor’s amusement, worried at each turn. He mixed the ingredients while Frigga prodded him about their plans for any children.  
  
“So, you two mentioned kids…did I hear that right?”  
  
“Very wrong, actually.” Loki wore a pinched expression, and Thor imagined he looked no better. It wasn’t a conversation they should be having, any of them. Least of all him and Loki.  
  
She swatted at Loki’s arm while he mixed.  
  
“So,” Thor said, ignoring both of them to peer into the array of bowls laid out before them, desperately needing the subject to change. He saw peanuts, walnuts, almonds; the works. “How much are you making?”  
  
“Enough to last through to Christmas, at least. Do you have a preference, Loki?”  
  
Loki slowed in his mixing. Then sped up again, and Thor knew the look that suddenly spread over Loki’s face. He was assuming control, and it never meant anything good for Thor.  
  
“I do indeed.”  
  
“Oh, what kind?” Frigga asked him.  
  
“Thor works magic with nuts,” Loki replied, and Thor fought not to smile.  
  
“Oh!” Frigga exclaimed, turning on him. “So all these years of you saying you couldn’t help me with the desserts, you’d been learning from me anyway?”  
  
“Oh for sure,” Thor told her on a laugh. “That’s my secret.”  
  
“Unbelievable.”  
  
“Thor’s nuts are the best,” Loki continued.  
  
Balder’s attention drifted to them at that, sending Thor a curious look.  
  
“He really knows how to handle them. Knows how to pick out the best sets by hand, even. Organic, through and through. But my god, the salt content could use some work. Delicious, but sometimes it’s just _so_ much to swallow down. Thor’s nuts are always the saltiest. Thor’s nuts are probably the saltiest I’ve ever tasted.”  
  
Balder’s eyebrows were to his hairline. Thor had to bite his tongue until it hurt.  
  
“I’ve got a bit of a sweet tooth I will admit,” Loki went on. “I love a good candy bar. A Snickers. A Payday. I just love nuts. Salty nuts especially, and Thor’s are simply the best. They’re the saltiest and nuttiest nuts I’ve ever had in my mouth. Just perfect really.”  
  
He hummed then, and kept stirring.  
  
Frigga launched into a discussion about the dietary information of candy bars versus organic bulk products to make your own, and did you know if you used flax seed it’s a decent substitute for eggs, and—  
  
Loki was nodding along, fully absorbed with Frigga’s regaling of recipe ideas he and Thor could try when they got back.  
  
Thor caught Balder’s eye, who mouthed over to him, _What the fuck?_  
  
“Oh,” came Farbauti’s voice from the door, “Do I smell peanut butter?”  
  
—  
  
Just before dinner Odin returned, and in his hands he carried a bag Thor had only really seen in movies. He had to look twice before realizing he was right.  
  
“Dad,” Thor couldn’t help but say when he saw him walk in, shrugging out of his winter jacket, “why do you have a bag of rifles with you?”  
  
Odin nodded his hello to Thor and Loki—now sitting beside him on his phone since Farbauti had replaced him to bob and weave around Frigga as they made the finishing touches on dinner—ignored Balder, and went to set the bag on the dining table.  
  
“Your mother didn’t tell you?” Odin asked, lips tilted up. He surely seemed in better spirits than Balder had made him think. Thor tried to gauge his brother’s reaction but he was still sat on the couch, decidedly ignoring them.  
  
“She did not.”  
  
“I’m taking you boys out hunting. I picked up the license this morning when we got in, but these,” he said, waving at the rifles, “took a little while longer.”  
  
Loki and Balder’s attention drew up at that.  
  
“What exactly are we hunting?” Thor asked, wary.  
  
Loki let out a breath. “That can’t be legal.”  
  
“Blacktail deer. They’re plentiful this season, so I thought it’d be…a good bonding experience.”  
  
“Bonding,” Balder echoed. He rose and went to unzip the bag and peaked inside. “Jesus.”  
  
“You’ve never taken us hunting in our lives,” Thor reminded their father “Your idea of bonding is driving us past your favorite bars.”  
  
Odin had the grace to look away from them at that. Frigga tutted at them.  
  
“All that’s in the past,” she stated firmly. “Now we—”  
  
“Kill animals for fun?” Balder’s eyebrows were drawn together.  
  
“One deer,” Odin said. “We’ll use the meat for Christmas dinner. Make it special.”  
  
Loki’s hand found Thor’s knee under the counter they sat at. He tapped twice and squeezed. When Thor met his eyes Loki shook his head just enough for Thor to see it. Thankfully, Odin missed it.  
  
“We could just go fishing,” Balder said. He looked pale. “I can do a mean fish fry.”  
  
Odin frowned. “When I was a boy my father took me hunting a few times. It’s good to pass down to your sons.”  
  
“Hunting is a barbaric practice engaged in by our ancestors and those without the means to access a grocery. Hunting for fun is worse. As we fall into neither category, I believe a fishing excursion to be the most beneficial to your sons,” Farbauti said easily, matter of fact. “Besides, I believe it would be nice to spend the afternoon doing something all of us can partake in, as one big family, right?”  
  
Loki gripped Thor’s knee so hard he knew he’d find bruises later.  
  
Frigga and Odin both sighed, Frigga’s sounding only a touch more exasperated.  
  
“What did you have in mind?” Thor asked her.  
  
Farbauti turned to him, effortlessly avoiding a collision with Frigga as she set out plates. “Well, if we’re going to Eaglecrest Christmas day, would it not be fun to do something out of the ordinary for Christmas Eve? Perhaps the Mendenhall Glacier?”  
  
Frigga’s mouth fell open. “Oh, I did want to see that before we left. How about we do that tomorrow afternoon while you all fish? Balder can teach you!”  
  
Balder nodded emphatically. Even pat Odin on the back, as if to say it was alright to relinquish this one thing. “It’s too late for most salmon, but we can definitely track down some char. Trout definitely.”  
  
Needless to say, they were all more comfortable waking early to fish and go glacier viewing than hunting, no matter how much Odin quietly grumbled about it.  
  
—  
  
“You’re gonna wear that thing to fish in?” Balder voiced, eyeing Loki like he was very confused. “Have you never been fishing before?”  
  
A glower was all the answer Balder needed before he was rolling his eyes.  
  
Loki was wearing a dark suit and shades. Balder had on mud pants tucked into knee high rubber boots, a life vest and a wide-brimmed sun hat.  
  
“I don’t think we’re going catfish baiting either,” Thor told his brother, gesturing to his clothes. “You both look ridiculous.”  
  
Loki and Balder turned on him. “Hey,” they echoed, glaring next at one another.  
  
Thor laughed and went to pick out a life vest for himself. He handed one to Loki who watched Thor put his on to mirror how he did it. Thor waved his hands aside and took the liberty of pulling Loki’s straps closed, tugging him forward to plant a kiss square on his mouth.  
  
Loki’s lips twitched up.  
  
“I want you to ride my face tonight,” Thor murmured low, reveling in the flush that spread over Loki’s cheeks.  
  
“That.” Loki cleared his throat. “That can be arranged.”  
  
Thor gave him a parting kiss on the cheek before leading them onto the boat. Loki wobbled but found his footing quicker than Balder seemed to expect.  
  
“You’re both going to regret not having hats. Doesn’t matter how cold or cloudy it is, you’ll burn. Probably really bad in overcast weather like this.”  
  
Balder told them to pick out their fishing poles and Loki hesitated, considering each one and its individual merits. Balder sighed and shoved one each into their waiting hands, saving them the choice altogether.  
  
Odin brought up the rear. Jeans, a shirt, and a hat to Balder’s eager finger wagging. “See, he knows.”  
  
Odin smiled when he took them in, apparently in better spirits than last night. He set down the pole and bucket of bait he was carrying and, to Thor’s surprise, clapped Loki on the back.  
  
“You ever been fishing before?”  
  
Loki shook his head, lips thin.  
  
“Balder always took to it better than me, but I can teach you some things even he can’t just yet.”  
  
“I resent that,” Balder breathed, shrugging at his back.  
  
“If I can’t teach you to hunt I can at least add some pointers about fishing, stop your griping.”  
  
“Dad, I swear to god—”  
  
While Odin and Balder bickered, Thor drew Loki aside.  
  
“I’m sorry about all this,” Thor sighed, squeezing Loki’s wrist gently. “I know it’s a lot.”  
  
Loki tilted his head, watching them. His eyes went soft.  
  
“I don’t know,” Loki muttered, thoughtful. “It’s kind of nice.”  
  
—  
  
Thor started to realize what Balder meant by their father turning…sad. Pathetic, he had said. Thor knew Odin was pathetic a long time before that, in a lot of different ways. But it was neither here nor there, and an opinion better left unvoiced if he wanted the rest of their trip to be as peaceful as it had been.  
  
But still, something about how Odin was different didn’t strike Thor as sadness. The lack of anger was there, sure, but sadness seemed just a note off. Something else had to be going on.  
  
Thor left Balder to teach Loki how to fiddle with his pole. He drew up beside Odin, hands in his pockets, his own fishing pole sat comfortably on the bench.  
  
“Hey, uh. You doing alright?”  
  
Odin stayed peering out at the serene water. “Do you care?”  
  
Thor pushed the first response that to mind down, ignoring him. “Are you, though?”  
  
Odin blinked and finally turned enough to eye him. “It’s been a hard year.”  
  
“Hard life.”  
  
“It has.”  
  
“I’ve been thinking lately,” he started, throat dry. He should just say it and get it done and over with. “About how we ended things during Thanksgiving.”  
  
Odin faced him fully, serious.  
  
“I’m not going to forgive you. You don’t deserve that. But I’m going to forgive your current self for the sake of the future. But that forgiveness is conditional.” Thor paused to allow his father to respond but he wisely kept his mouth shut. “You have to treat mom better. And Balder. And you keep treating Loki like how you have been today.”  
  
“Loki’s a good kid. I like him.” He huffed, but Thor could see the strangely gathering tears at the edge of his good eye. Odin never cried. “He pisses you off.”  
  
“You like him because he pisses me off?”  
  
Odin smiled softly, but the expression was tired. “I see how he keeps you on your toes. He’ll keep your life interesting.”  
  
Thor nodded, allowing it. He wasn’t wrong.  
  
Not that they were _really_ engaged or anything. Not like Thor actually wanted to be—  
  
He swallowed and cleared his throat.  
  
“Thank you, Thor.” Odin was still looking at him. He inclined his head after a moment and turned back to the water. “I’ll try.”  
  
That’s all he wanted anymore. Thor leaned his elbows on the edge of the boat to peer down into the roiling water as it split into ripples along the hull.  
  
“So, I hear you’re planning to adopt soon?”  
  
Thor’s elbow slipped and he caught himself. “What?”  
  
“Your mother tells me you two mentioned kids. When were you thinking of adopting? Hopefully before I’m dead?” And then Odin laughed, like it was funny.  
  
Nevermind the absolute thundering of his pulse but Thor shook his head, no. “Not now! Not right now. Not for a long time! Uh.”  
  
“But one day?” At Thor’s hesitation to answer, Odin leaned back to call Loki over. “Loki, boy! Thor can’t seem to figure out what’s going on with your adoption schedule. Care to clear it up for an old man?”  
  
Thor didn’t turn but could feel the tension rolling off Loki as he walked over. He settled at Thor’s side, hands in the pockets of his suit jacket, tucked under the vest.  
  
“What,” he said, smooth, “You didn’t tell him how we visited with a sweet girl upstate? She’s a lovely thing. Name’s Hela.”  
  
Thor swore he swallowed his own tongue.  
  
Something in Odin’s eye twinkled happily. If anything, Thor knew, Odin was always smitten with Balder’s kids. Easier to be a doting grandfather a fourth of the time, he supposed, than a good father all the time.  
  
“Delightful. How old is she?”  
  
Loki smiled, effortless. Like it was real. “She’s twelve and a spitfire. Already told Thor to fuck off.”  
  
Thor leaned back, surprised that Odin was laughing.  
  
“Oh, she’s a keeper then. She’ll have you two wrapped around her finger in no time. Thor will spoil her, he loves doing that. Always spoiled Balder growing up. Thor was a selfless kid.”  
  
Loki blinked over to him, giving him a searching look.  
  
Thor couldn’t take this. Couldn’t take talk of a hypothetical daughter, a _tween_ daughter. Couldn’t take the content glint in his father’s eye at the prospect of another grandchild to send gifts in the mail.  
  
Couldn’t take how sincere Loki sounded when he said, “I know Thor will be wonderful with children. He’s got a good heart. Too big probably, but nothing a few dietary restrictions can’t fix.”  
  
Odin absolutely guffawed at that. Thor couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t take it, any of it.  
  
And most of all couldn’t take the strangely painful lurch in his chest the more the words hung in the air, unanswered.  
  
He smiled, feeling weak. Said, “I’ll leave you two to catch up on everything then. I’m feeling a little seasick, need to lie down for a minute.”  
  
Loki’s eyes trailed him, heavy on his back the entire way into the small cabin beneath the deck. Thor slumped down, lying back with an arm over his eyes.  
  
Why was he getting teary eyed?  
  
—  
  
Loki found him minutes later.  
  
“Thor.”  
  
Thor raised a hand in greeting before letting it fall back to cover his eyes. He heard Loki approach, crouching beside him. The boat swayed and he planted an elbow beside Thor’s ribs to steady himself. He let his hands rest over Thor’s chest, picking idly at his vest.  
  
“Too far?” Loki offered.  
  
“Kind of a shitty thing, getting their hopes up.”  
  
Loki made a soft sound. He took Thor’s hand and pulled it away from his face. Thor sniffled.  
  
“I got your hopes up too, I think.” It wasn’t a question.  
  
“I’m being stupid. It’s silly.” Loki wiped a thumb under one eye. “It’s just—you sounded so—”  
  
“I meant what I said,” Loki told him, gaze unwavering as he held Thor’s eyes. “You’d be a good father, I think. Not that I’m asking you to, you know, have kids with me or anything. That’s kind of wild don’t you think? A touch too soon even.”  
  
He laughed lightly, trying to brush it off. Thor swallowed and tried to smile. Loki wiped his eyes for him, leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Thor’s. It was a sweet thing.  
  
“Sometimes I forget where we are on this timeline of ours. Sometimes it feels we’re further ahead than we actually are.”  
  
“I forget sometimes too.” Loki kissed him again. “Doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”  
  
It was the first time Loki had ever…ever gotten so close to what Thor wanted to ask him. At least talk to him about. The future. Their future. How long Loki was in this for. How he felt.  
  
Thor swallowed down three words he’d had to swallow down so often for weeks. It never got any easier.  
  
“I talked to Odin. Just a little, but I said what I needed to for now.”  
  
Loki nodded, nosed at his cheek. It felt like comfort. “I promise to tone down the shit starting for a bit.”  
  
Thor turned his head, butted Loki’s forehead with his own. Leaned back to meet his warm gaze. “Not unless you plan on sending Frigga pictures of this hypothetical kid. Hela? Where’d you pull that from?”  
  
Color rose to Loki’s cheeks. “It just sounded nice is all.”  
  
Thor suspected that wasn’t the only reason why. But he didn’t push it.  
  
“Hey, Loki.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
Thor blinked and kissed his cheek instead.  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
—  
  
There was a lot to be said for natural wonders of the world. Like volcanoes. And caves. And forests. Air and fish and life in general, really. Icebergs counted among them, though Thor admittedly had never thought to go see one. It was a beautiful sight, and he found the tour guide interesting, if a little droning. The guide seemed to be encouraging moves inland as opposed to coastal realty. Really a picker upper.  
  
But Loki, he found, had a slightly more wilted view on the subject than he did.  
  
“It’s kind of…small,” Loki commented, brows drawn up. “I hadn’t realized.”  
  
“You’re looking at the wrath of global warming, son,” Farbauti chimed in behind him, equally serious as she stared out at the receding glacier. “We’re too late.”  
  
Thor rolled his eyes. Frigga grabbed at him, whispering in a hushed voice, “Are they always this…dour?”  
  
“Pretty much.”  
  
Frigga clicked her tongue. She raised her camera to snap pictures of them, then of Thor. He winced and shielded his face, to a wave of her laughter.  
  
“He really loves you,” she said, abrupt and happy in her motherly way. “I’m so happy you two found each other.”  
  
Thor tried not to visibly react. “You think so?”  
  
She made a face. “Loves you enough to put up with this chaos for a whole week? Clearly.”  
  
He snorted. “Loki likes to think he embodies chaos.”  
  
“Well, he navigates it well enough.” She hummed and angled her camera to sneak more pictures of Loki’s profile. “Marriage is easy. It’s dealing with the family that’s hard as hell.” A pause, as the tour guide started explaining the woes of the earth’s climate. “His mother’s nice.”  
  
“Is she?”  
  
Frigga elbowed him. “She loves him. They just have a lot to work out.”  
  
Thor huffed a laugh. “What, did she spill the depths of her heart to you while we were fishing?”  
  
Frigga’s eyebrows rose slowly and Thor gasped dramatically. “No way.”  
  
“Yes way,” his mother insisted. “But that’s none of your business, nosy.”  
  
Thor could only laugh. His mother placed a hand on his side, urging him to go to Loki, that she wanted pictures of the two of them. They hadn’t taken any pictures together. Though something about having proof of their being together sent a pleasant tingle up his spine.  
  
Frigga corralled them together until she had a good view of glacier behind them. She instructed them to hug, kiss, hold hands, turn this way and that, and on and on.  
  
Loki dutifully smiled through all of them. Thor wondered why until they were finally free and Loki leaned over and said, “I want copies.”  
  
“You’re going to put them on your desk?”  
  
Loki hummed, conniving. “Don’t push me. I might put them in a framed collage just to embarrass you.”  
  
A smile pulled at him, and so he buried it in Loki’s neck. “I wouldn’t dare.”  
  
—  
  
They got back late. Balder fried them the fish they’d caught that morning and it was, in Thor’s opinion, some of the best he ever had. He’d have to needle the recipe out of Balder before they left.  
  
One by one, they retired to their own cabins, exhausted. Odin trudged heavily up the stairs while Balder helped clean up dinner. Thor started to round Loki out the door so they could try and get some sleep, but not before Frigga called out to them.  
  
“Loki, I’d love to take you out tomorrow for breakfast, if you don’t mind.”  
  
Thor knew that tone. His mother was planning something. But Loki was tired and halfway out the door already. He waved his ascent and just like that Thor was gifted a brand new worry; what did Frigga want? Probably to harass him about his wild adoption tales. Or maybe his relationship with his mother.  
  
Hopefully, it would just be breakfast but Thor knew better.  
  
Back in their own cabin, Loki kicked off his shoes and climbed under the covers in his suit. Thor had to wrestle the blankets off before working his fingers across buttons and zippers until he could shimmy Loki out of his pants and jacket at the very least.  
  
“You’re too good to me,” Loki mumbled into the sheets. He rolled onto his back and shouldered the rest of the way free of his clothes. Threw them on the floor.  
  
“You must be tired. You never put your clothes on the floor.”  
  
“First time for everything, husband.”  
  
“Fiance, excuse you.”  
  
“Boyfriend,” Loki hummed, smiling at the ceiling. “I believe you said something about face sitting?”  
  
Thor huffed a laugh at that. “Maybe after we both shower, huh?”  
  
Loki groaned but managed to drag himself into the shower anyway.  
  
—  
  
Thor woke up to lips around his cock. When he lifted the blankets to blink blearily down, he was met by Loki bearing down on him, smiling at being caught.  
  
Loki slid off with a pop and licked down the side of him. Held Thor’s hips still while he thrust against the feeling.  
  
“Happy Christmas Eve, fiance,” Loki drawled and took Thor in his mouth to the root, all wet heat and firm hands.  
  
—  
  
Loki had barely stepped outside their cabin with a mug of coffee before Frigga’s voice sounded across the small valley their cabins were nestled in. He jumped, coffee sloshing. Thor popped his head out to see his mother waving, making a beeline for them.  
  
“Good luck,” Thor told him. “And no adoption stuff.”  
  
Loki sighed and nodded. “I promise.”  
  
—  
  
They were gone so long, Thor started to wander. He took a long walk through the woods behind the cabins. All wild land, with snows deeper the steeper the incline became. They were at the edge of a small mountain, but to look at the landscape compared to the lake you’d think it was two different seasons.  
  
Eventually bored, he turned back and went to see what the others were doing. Odin was out by himself in a kayak on the lake, and Balder was cooking with Farbauti, to Thor’s bewilderment.  
  
He stepped inside and Farbauti immediately spotted him.  
  
“Good. We need help with hors d'oeuvres,” she demanded, because so many things she said often came out like demands. “What do you know how to make?”  
  
Thor scrambled for something, but was blanking. “I could figure something out.”  
  
And that’s how Frigga and Loki found them an hour later, Farbauti yelling at Thor who was laden with avocados.  
  
Thor set them down and brought out a knife. “I looked it up. It’ll be cute.”  
  
“Not if you want to kill my son.”  
  
Frigga took the bags she and Loki carried and placed them at the bottom of the stairs. Loki came over to them and flicked an avocado until it rolled away. Thor snatched it and began slicing into it. “You know I’m allergic.”  
  
That caught Frigga’s attention.  
  
Thor faltered. “But Loki, I uh, I always make you that really good guacamole.” It was a baldfaced lie is what it was.  
  
Loki didn’t waver. Frigga spoke up. “Even I knew that, Thor! What’re you making anyway?”  
  
Thor felt a sweat start on his forehead, nervous with being sandwiched by Farbauti’s death glare and Loki’s bemused little smirk.  
  
“An avocado wreath.”  
  
“It is the food of the millennial,” Balder added unhelpfully. Everyone ignored him.  
  
“I swear you’re not allergic,” Thor said, determined to see this through.  
  
“Have you been feeding my son avocados without his knowledge?” Farbauti asked, haughty. “You could have killed him, you realize?”  
  
Thor sent a pleading look to Loki, who was taking far too much pleasure in his suffering.  
  
“Love,” Loki said, voice sweet. The word, although played up for the benefit of everyone around them, was a hook in Thor’s heart. “Have you been trying to kill me?”  
  
Thor wiped at his forehead with the back of his arm, setting the avocado and knife down.  
  
“No,” he squeaked. “No, of course not.”  
  
Frigga frowned, coming over and bullying him from his space in the kitchen. “Really, Thor. I can’t believe you’d risk something like that.”  
  
“Honestly,” Farbauti hummed in agreement, obviously disappointed.  
  
Loki was fighting back a grin. Then something chimed. He fished out his phone, and Thor watched as first he looked confused and then concerned.  
  
“I…I have to take this,” Loki said, voice low. He turned on his heel and went right back out the front door.  
  
Thor almost followed him, having been successfully forced out of snack duty. But he held back, if only because of how Loki’s mother stared after her son as he left. She looked drawn, worried. She dropped the thing about the avocados and took to chatting Frigga up instead, the subject effectively null.  
  
Thor shook himself and decided he’d wait until Loki approached him. If it was serious, he’d tell Thor.  
  
Right?  
  
—  
  
Loki came in shortly after, not allowing any headway for Thor to pull him aside to ask him what the call was all about. At least there had been no yelling that Thor could tell. Usually Loki yelling meant someone was being fired. Instead, Loki just offered Thor a look that said, _Not now_. So, he would force himself not to pry just yet.  
  
Odin came in hours later, said nothing and went straight upstairs.  
  
Balder was watching him, flicking back and forth between their parents. Frigga had gone quiet where she was still chatting amicably with Farbauti.  
  
Thor didn’t know what it meant. He thought they’d been doing better. Wondered if there was a fight he didn’t know about that happened sometime between last night and today.  
  
Frigga caught him staring and waved a hand at him. “Stop your staring and go pick out a present.”  
  
“Christmas is tomorrow,” Thor reminded her. “Loki’s getting his gift tomorrow.” He was set on that.  
  
Loki gave him a wondering look at his tone.  
  
Frigga looked unconvinced. “And we open one present each on Christmas Eve. Doesn’t mean you can’t open something. Go.”  
  
Loki pushed himself off the chair he’d been in and retrieved the bags they’d dropped earlier. He pulled something small, wrapped in green shiny paper, and handed it to Thor.  
  
“Pretend like I didn’t just get this today.”  
  
“You forgot?”  
  
Loki had the grace to look mildly embarrassed. “I have another gift for you but it’s not arrived yet. But this,” he said, shoving the thing in Thor’s hands, “Is for now.”  
  
“Wait, wait!” Frigga called, cheerful again. “Let’s everybody else play Dirty Santa!”  
  
“Excuse me?” Loki’s mother asked.  
  
“Gift swap,” Balder explained. “You’ll see.”  
  
Balder went upstairs to coax down a freshly showered Odin. He looked ready to pass out at any moment so Frigga gathered them around quickly. They gathered their respective gifts and held them at their fronts, Farbauti more than anyone looking out of place. As they switched presents, Odin launched into some story from a time when he was a child.  
  
Loki pulled Thor off to the side and tapped the gift Thor still held. He stared at it, feeling anxious. It could be anything. Something silly, inconsequential. Definitely something touristy from the village, he was sure. Thor wondered what Loki could have possibly gotten him, and it sent a shudder of anticipation through him.  
  
“Go on,” Loki urged, quiet, eyes bright.  
  
Thor tore until he reached a simple cardboard box. He glanced up, saw Loki’s reassuring little nod and lifted the top off.  
  
It was a gem he’d seen before. A small sapphire, almost two hundred years old. But it was in a setting and made into a necklace of black twine. He couldn’t look away from the thing.  
  
“This is…this was my grandmother’s.”  
  
Loki placed a hand on Thor’s elbow. “And her great-grandmother’s before. Your mother told me.”  
  
The gesture was too much. It meant too much.  
  
“That’s where she whisked you off to, then?”  
  
Loki nodded. “I picked the setting. I thought you’d appreciate the silver.” Thor blinked. Blinked again. His throat felt suddenly too narrow. “Though I almost picked you out a lovely string of pearls, but your mother talked me down. You can blame her for that.”  
  
The laugh that left him then sounded empty.  
  
Loki shrugged easily. “Besides, you could get away with this at the office.”  
  
The gem had been in their family on his mother’s side for centuries. That Frigga gave it to Loki…it said everything that could be said. That Loki was willingly gifting it to Thor now—it was a promise. Thor knew it was a promise. Loki could joke about fake kids all day, but this, this he knew Loki had the tact to understand would be too far to go along with.  
  
“Loki, you know what this means, right?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
And damn if he didn’t sound all in.  
  
Behind them, Thor heard voices being raised, but not unkindly. There was laughter, too.  
  
Thor licked his lips, they felt too dry. When he dragged his eyes back to Loki’s he was smiling so soft, Thor couldn’t think to respond with anything other than:  
  
“I love you,” Thor breathed.  
  
A few things happened all at once.  
  
Loki blinked. His hand dropped. But he was smiling too—however shaken the expression suddenly seemed to appear, and the panic inside Thor began warring with his hope.  
  
Odin shouted, the laughter dropping instantly.  
  
Frigga barked back, “Good, since we’re getting divorced anyway!”  
  
Balder said, “Oh, god.”  
  
And, last but not least, Farbauti’s voice above them all:  
  
“What the fuck is this!” Which was immediately followed by a telling thump on the hardwood flooring.  
  
Thor and Loki turned to see, and it was Loki’s laughter that filtered through first.  
  
Thor saw his mother’s vicious smile, his father’s beat-red face. Saw Balder’s sheepish shrug as he looked away.  
  
And, finally, Thor took in the vibrating blue dildo that had fallen to the ground at Farbauti’s feet, its gift wrap in a wilting crumple beside it.  
  
—  
  
Dinner went cold besides the few who picked at the remains. Balder, Loki and Thor held back while Frigga lingered, drinking a large glass of wine. Farbauti was out front smoking, and Odin had gone to bed.  
  
The dildo sat on the dinner table, no longer vibrating but nevertheless still quite the center piece.  
  
“Mom?”  
  
Frigga waved at him. “Yes, it’s true.”  
  
“No, I just,” Thor managed. “Are you alright?”  
  
“It’s for the best. I’m tired of telling myself it can work.”  
  
Thor couldn’t agree more. He knew his mother would be okay.  
  
At the table, Balder pulled apart a piece of bread, buttered it and stuck it in his mouth, eyebrows set low.  
  
“You gonna be okay?” Loki asked him, arms crossed.  
  
The question snapped Balder out of whatever trance he’d been in. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ve been wondering when it would happen. Guess I’m not the only fuck up in the family anymore, right?”  
  
Loki snorted.  
  
Thor said, “Hey, remember I was first. I got you beat.” He shouldered Balder up and into a hug.  
  
Loki looked too serious for his own good, the night feeling decidedly over, so Thor went to hug his mother goodnight before they headed out.  
  
Farbauti puffed on the cigarette she held as they closed the door behind them. She nodded to them in turn before eyeing her son.  
  
“Loki,” she said. “I know you’ll do well.”  
  
Thor took a step further into the cool night air. He looked between them both, sensing the obvious charge between them. He didn’t know what she meant, but Loki seemed to know exactly.  
  
“Thank you,” Loki finally muttered, not unkind.  
  
Farbauti nodded and breathed out a waft of smoke. “Merry Christmas, boys.”  
  
Loki shoved his hands in his pockets and went ahead of Thor. He walked with purpose enough Thor knew they were about to have a conversation.  
  
They needed to talk.  
  
—  
  
Loki shoved his jacket to the bed. Put his hands on his hips and started pacing.  
  
“Loki.”  
  
He ignored Thor.  
  
“Loki, it’s okay if you don’t say it back.”  
  
Loki halted midstep, catching himself. He strode to Thor and kissed him, hard, fingers flying to Thor’s neck. And though he never deepened the kiss, it felt urgent, needed, profound. Thor wrapped his arms around Loki and held him as tight as he dared.  
  
He walked them back until Loki’s knees hit the edge of the mattress, letting him tumble down onto his back. He groaned with the impact but started undoing his fly all the same. He was going too fast. Rushed in the purpose of it all.  
  
Thor followed him down, straddling him. He grabbed at Loki’s wrists and pinned them easily at either side of his head. Loki rolled his eyes but allowed it, not arguing for once. Thor let himself relax, letting his weight rest atop Loki.  
  
“You’re crushing me.”  
  
“You like it.”  
  
“You like me,” Loki snipped. Then, eyes going wide, “You love me.”  
  
It sounded like a question. Thor held his eyes and nodded, yes.  
  
“I don’t need to say it back?” Loki asked, a proper question this time. It was breathed out, shaky in the middle. “Not yet?”  
  
“’Course not, Loki. I just want you to know.”  
  
Thor could see the bob of Loki’s throat as he swallowed hard. He cleared his throat and bucked his hips.  
  
“Well, stop waxing poetic and put those lips to good use.”  
  
Thor laughed, feeling lighter than he had in weeks in spite of the events of the evening. Despite everything he felt more at home than he had in a long while, and he knew it had nothing to do with their holiday, and everything to do with Loki beneath him; Loki’s thundering heart, his twitching hands, the flush high on his cheeks and ears.  
  
Thor didn’t need to hear Loki say it yet. He knew it would come in its own time.  
  
“I have a better idea,” Thor murmured and Loki cocked a brow up at him.  
  
—  
  
Later, Thor sunk down in Loki’s lap, Loki’s hands digging hard into his waist. Loki rolled his hips up to meet every languid roll of Thor’s above him and moaned loudly, uncaring of who heard.  
  
Thor rode him, trailed his hands all down Loki’s lithe chest and ribs, down to his navel. He took himself in hand until Loki batted his hands away to take over. It wasn’t long until he took Thor apart, and Loki himself wasn’t too far behind him.  
  
They curled up in each other’s arms after, Loki burying his cold nose against Thor’s neck as he effectively burrowed into him. Thor felt himself dozing, feeling content and happy and whole.  
  
“Merry Christmas,” Loki whispered after Thor began to slip away to sleep. Then, even more quietly, “Love you.”  
  
Thor smiled, pretending he hadn’t heard.  
  
But maybe he pulled Loki a little closer still.


	9. Corner Office

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's finished! In under a year! When it was supposed to just be one or two chapters!
> 
> The response to this has been shocking. I really never expected people to like it as much as you have, and the response has blown my expectations out of the water. Thank you for all the feedback and support for this wild and weird story. It's good to know people will read the stuff that's not my usual forte.
> 
> Thank you everyone! I hope the last chapter lives up to the rest. C:

Loki wasn’t beside him when Thor woke on Christmas morning. The right side of the bed was all rumpled sheets cool to the touch as he stretched an arm over-top them. A sound of disappointment lodged in the back of his throat and that’s when he heard mild laughter drift over to him.  
  
“Calm down. I’m right here.”  
  
Then Loki was there, hovering into view with a mug of coffee in hand, eyes pale and soft in the morning light. Thor smiled up at him, happy, feeling loved.  
  
“Happy Christmas,” Loki murmured. He leaned forward and gave Thor a kiss to the mouth, the cheek, the forehead. He drew back and cleared his throat. “I wanted to let you sleep in a little. There’s, uh. I have something to tell you.”  
  
Thor felt around for Loki’s hands and grabbed them, cradling them on his chest. He knew it wasn’t bad news, nothing like it. Loki was far too cheerful, in his own way, that Thor knew it couldn’t be anything worse than maybe a misplaced sock.  
  
But then Loki hesitated and something about the way he lowered his eyes from Thor’s face, the way his mouth twisted, sent a spike of fear through him. Had to remind himself he knew Loki’s bad moods probably better than his good ones.  
  
This wasn’t a bad something. Couldn’t be.  
  
“I’m sure you didn’t miss my mother’s little message to me as we were heading out last night,” Loki started, blinking.  
  
“Yeah?” He thought back on it, remembered how he’d been confused at the time.  
  
Thor had been caught up in the news of his parent’s (finally) divorcing. He still felt some amount of relief at the idea, but knew it wouldn’t be so clear cut and easy once emotions settled. And with their family, emotions never settled for long.  
  
“I got a call yesterday. She had her lawyers render Laufey’s will null and void. And,” Loki said, licking his lips, “she signed over the company to me. I’m now the sole owner of the firm.”  
  
Thor swallowed. Did it again. He touched Loki’s face to make him meet his eyes again and when he did, Thor saw fresh tears there. He dragged Loki forward on a gasp and let him know, without a doubt, how proud he was.  
  
“You deserve it,” Thor murmured to him, choked up on too many things he wanted to say. Things he needed to get out. But not right now, most could wait. Most, but one. “I fucking love you, Loki.”  
  
Loki grinned into the next kiss. “I fully expect an invoice from you for all the work you’ve done to my apartment.”  
  
Thor laughed. “I wouldn’t dare, you’ll adjust for inflation.”  
  
Loki set his coffee down and climbed over Thor, settling on the other side of the bed. He draped an arm over Thor’s chest and sent him a wicked look.  
  
“What? You’re not going to let me spend my new money on you?”  
  
Squeezing Loki’s hand, he said, “How about a compromise?”  
  
“What do you propose?”  
  
The way Loki looked at him…Thor couldn’t describe it. It was the same look he’d often given Thor just after they won a case. The same look he gave Thor when they first kissed. The same look from the elevator, and the office, and over Thanksgiving…and now—  
  
Thor cleared his throat and squeezed Loki close.  
  
“I need to know something first,” Thor whispered, not trusting his voice. “This means…the will.”  
  
Loki’s brows wavered.  
  
“Does this mean it’s over?”  
  
There was the creak of wood outside, and a whip of wind. Thor held his breath.  
  
“We may have started all of this out on a lie, Thor,” Loki said, soft, “but it’s been different almost since the start. What you mean…How I feel about you?” He shook his head. “There’s no going back for me. If you’ll have me.”  
  
“Are you asking me to for-real marry you?” Thor asked him, too elated and teary to keep the joke from slipping out. He raised Loki’s knuckles to his beard, enjoying the flush that rose to Loki’s cheeks.  
  
But Loki wasn’t laughing.  
  
“What—what if I am?”  
  
Thor blinked, too startled for words.  
  
Thor already knew his answer.  
  
So he let a tear or two fall, let them wick away into his beard as he kissed Loki’s knuckles, his palms.  
  
“At least take me out to dinner first.”  
  
Loki pursed his lips, relief bursting from him in a shocked, trembling laugh and promised he would.  
  
—  
  
They’d been sitting in the foyer of the main cabin for an hour, waiting for information on their ski trip. Frigga had driven into town with Farbauti to check with the main hotel lobby, and pick up another round of groceries. Loki stood beside him, hands in his pockets, eyes on the floor.  
  
“I’m afraid I might fall asleep standing up,” he complained tiredly.  
  
“Well we didn’t get much sleep last night, after all,” Thor reminded him with a nudge of an elbow. Loki raised an eyebrow.  
  
Balder sighed from where he sat on his favorite spot on the couch. “Disgusting.”  
  
“You’re just mad because you’re not getting any,” Loki replied, no bite to the words.  
  
Thor’s eyes went wide, waiting for the inevitable fallout.  
  
Balder just narrowed his eyes. “You’re not my type, Lackey.”  
  
Loki pretended to be offended. “Ooh, haven’t heard that one since last holiday! Scathing.”  
  
“I try,” Balder said, chuckling low. “Asshole.”  
  
“Dick.”  
  
“Menace.”  
  
“Nerd.”  
  
“That’s just a low blow, pissant.”  
  
“Hmm, you’re getting closer.”  
  
Their banter petered off into laughter.  
  
Thor didn’t realize Loki and his brother had such…a report with one another. He shook the strange interaction away from his thoughts when Odin made an appearance. He stomped down the stairs and went directly into the kitchen.  
  
He opened the fridge, glared and slammed it shut.  
  
Thor knew exactly what he’d been hoping to find and felt his stomach sink to his knees.  
  
“Let’s go to the city or something instead,” Thor said, turning to Loki. He lowered his voice as Loki leaned in close. “He’s looking for a drink and I’m sure as shit not going to be here when he doesn’t find one.”  
  
Loki’s eyes flicked between Thor’s and to where Odin had taken up a rising grumbling. His hand found Thor’s arm and squeezed, smoothing down to his elbow. He nodded and that’s all Thor needed to start for the door.  
  
“You two,” Odin barked. “Where are you heading? We’ve got Eaglecrest—”  
  
Thor debated. He could turn and answer or he could leave, and risk another ruined holiday.  
  
He turned around and Odin was just _there_. Too close. He took a step backward automatically.  
  
Odin narrowed his one eye.  
  
“We’re not really feeling in the mood to ski,” Thor told him.  
  
“You in the mood for fucking around though right?”  
  
An all too familiar stone formed in his throat as he tried to swallow past it. He stepped more fully in front of Loki.  
  
“Heard you got a promotion, kid,” Odin aimed over Thor’s shoulder. “Guess you don’t have to put up with my shit of a son anymore, huh?”  
  
“What are you implying?” came Loki’s _don’t fuck with me or I’ll fire you_ voice. Thor stood, rigid.  
  
“You two. Knew there was something weird about it. Last time. From Thanksgiving. Looking like you could stab each other, the next minute you’re in bed. Fucking stinks—”  
  
“Stop—” Thor tried.  
  
“Fucking stinks of fa—”  
  
“Dad!” came Balder’s shout. Thor could see him stand from the corner of his eye. He hovered, tense and waiting. They all were. “What the hell are you doing?”  
  
Distantly, Thor heard the sound of a car door shutting. Laughter and voices drifting up the steps into the cabin.  
  
Odin glared at his youngest son. “Shoulda got rid of you too, welp—”  
  
Thor could kill him. “Don’t you fucking say that to him—”  
  
“I heard you,” Odin blustered on, waving an arm. “This morning.”  
  
Thor blinked. Odin stumbled back, looking livid. Thor had shoved him back a few steps.  
  
And then Odin was on him.  
  
A door opened and then there was screaming. Sounds everywhere, and hands and arms. They grabbed at him, tried to pry father and son apart. Odin launched a fist forward and Thor felt his head snap back on the hardwood floor. Thor kicked next, and Odin fell off to the side.  
  
It was Balder that strong-armed Odin to stay where he lay. He huffed and groaned and swore and shouted and spit and Thor could only try and catch his breath. Frigga was there, and Loki, feeling at his face and checking him over.  
  
Thor fixed wild eyes on Loki, who wasn’t blurry above him so much as shaking. Trembling. All angry eyes above a bloody nose.  
  
“Welcome to the family,” Thor rushed out, laughing for a wild moment. And it was worth the lunacy of it, to see Loki smile down at him in reply, as exasperated as it seemed.  
  
“You’re frauds! You both lied!” Odin cried. “For the fucking will—”  
  
He heard a groan and then Farbauti’s loud voice cutting above it all.  
  
“Say another word in regard to my son or yours, and I will make one call and have you in prison by the end of the week.”  
  
Thor sat up, to the anxious mumbling of his mother. She kept saying something about knowing where Odin went last night, again and again. An alcohol run.  
  
“We’re flying out today,” she snapped, voice clipped. She held Thor’s head to her chest until he managed to pry himself away. “We’re done.”  
  
And, looking from Loki, to his mother, to where his father cried drunkenly on the floor—and finally up to Farbauti who held his gaze like she knew, and didn’t care, didn’t care about any of it anymore. She only nodded, and it was such a simple thing, nodding. But it made Thor feel like things would be okay, were okay, and that’s what gave him him the strength to stand.  
  
Fucking right, we’re done, he thought, and reached out to take Loki’s hand.  
  
—  
  
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Frigga asked him for the tenth time.  
  
“It’ll just bruise,” Thor insisted. “I’ve had worse.”  
  
They were in the men’s bathroom of the airport. Frigga had followed them right in, too concerned with the state of them both to worry about any concerned member of airport security.  
  
They’d already checked their bags and Farbauti was outside making phone calls. She’d offered to send a handler for Odin.  
  
Thor had asked her, somewhere warily, if that meant she was ordering a hit on his father.  
  
To Thor’s surprise, she’d laughed. Threw her head back and everything. Then explained she was only sending what amounted to little more than a very large, very muscled nanny to see him home, sober.  
  
Beside him, Loki stuffed a very precisely folded piece of tissue up his left nostril.  
  
“And I’ve had worse as well,” Loki told her in a soothing tone. He smiled to her, looking ridiculous with a swollen nose and a spike of tissue paper already half stained in blood sticking out at an angle. “What man would I be if I didn’t step in when my fiance is getting pummeled?”  
  
They smiled to each other, knowing. They weren’t hurt badly, and neither was Odin. But if Thor had learned anything about the last twenty-four hours it’s that the first thing he’d do when they landed back home is help Frigga move.  
  
But it was the wrong thing to say for tears began to trail down Frigga’s cheeks. She glared at them and pinched Loki on the arm.  
  
“That’s not funny—” she sniffed and cut off as Thor stepped forward to hold her. “I’m so sorry. It’s my—”  
  
“It’s _not_ ,” Thor told her. He’d told her before. He’d probably tell her again. “It never was. Never is.”  
  
And Loki…Loki joined them to wrap his arms around them both.  
  
They spent long minutes standing huddled together. Finally, Loki sniffed and said, “You know, Frigga, when’s the last time you saw the city? I bet you’re dying to see a play. And all the work Thor’s done to make my apartment livable. Would you like to see?”  
  
Frigga sniffled before Thor felt the barest nod against his chest.  
  
He met Loki’s eyes.  
  
Thor really fucking loved him.  
  
—  
  
**One year later.**  
  
  
  
Thor’s office was a corner office.  
  
It had a floor to ceiling window.  
  
It had a _fancy-L-shaped-desk-like-professionals-have_ like Thor insisted when they went shopping for office furniture to make the space exactly like he wanted it to be. That had also included a white leather couch and two plush yellow leather chairs—for some despicable reason Loki still could not fathom.  
  
It had two plants, and neither of them were dying, thanks very much to Loki’s continued nagging about consistent watering schedules. His own at home had been flourishing for four years now. If anyone knew about extensive indoor plant care it was him.  
  
Loki stepped around his desk to stand behind Thor’s chair as he worked. Thor was chewing on his lower lip as he read their latest brief out loud, so Loki reached around to gently pinch the end of his nose to get him to stop.  
  
“We’ll win this case just fine.”  
  
“It’s my first as lead. I don’t want to mess it up.”  
  
Loki smiled, rubbing his hands down Thor’s shoulders. The suit was Versace, a birthday gift. It was a wonder he ever got Thor to wear it. He paused and looked a little closer, feeling something familiar. He pinched a white hair and flung it away.  
  
“I told you that dog would be an absolute disaster. You have hair on your _suit_.” He frowned as he plucked another off. He thought about simply running the lint roller over their four month old Alaskan Malamute when they went home that night.  
  
Thor hummed and shrugged his shoulders away from Loki’s searching hands. “Doesn’t matter. Case now. Dog later.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. Bored he leaned a hip at the edge of Thor’s desk as he kept working. His hair was nice today, pulled back in a bun. His beard was trim. His brow scrunched in concentration. Loki let his eyes glide lower, hooking for a moment on Thor’s wonderful knuckles before trailing over the mess of his fiance’s desk.  
  
Loki reached out and adjusted Thor’s name plaque an inch to the side. Then realized it was dusty and made a mental note to wipe it down later.  
  
“You should clean more often, Thor. I got you that name plaque specially engraved last year for _you_ , if you don’t remember, so I’d appreciate if you took a little more care when maintaining my gifts to you.”  
  
Thor’s lips tilted up, happy. “This office is in full sun. It’s dusty as hell, what do you expect?”  
  
“You wanted the corner office.”  
  
Thor sighed. “I guess I did.”  
  
Loki reached out and pushed a loose paperclip with his pinky. The light caught on the ring he wore and he turned it this way and that, catching the light again and again.  
  
“You know,” Loki muttered. Thor didn’t stop typing. Loki reached out, pushed Thor’s name plaque another inch to the side. “It’s been a good year.”  
  
Thor glanced at him. “Best of my life, but you know that.”  
  
Loki hummed pleasant, let his palm drift over the plaque. “I do.”  
  
“Loki.”  
  
“Thor.”  
  
Thor caught his eye and Loki smiled, devious.  
  
“What are you thinking right now?” Thor asked him, and oh if he didn’t sound hungry.  
  
Loki shoved the name plaque to the floor. Parted his thighs to sit back more fully on Thor’s desk. Thor leaned back in his office chair, amused and more than a little interested judging by the state of his trousers.  
  
He gestured for Thor to scoot closer. Let his fingers work open his own fly.  
  
“Why don’t you tell me, _love_?” Loki asked him, and reveled in the way Thor answered.


End file.
